Hi in trying to find some John/Abused Dean stories I came across this one but the journal is deleted.  There are several other stories from this author that sound interesting.  They are not in the deleted journal page.  I was wondering if anyone had any of them saved?

Also any recommendations for abused Dean, most especially where he protects Sam or hides it from others or Sam or someone finding out when they are older.

thank you
Hi everyone, I am looking for any fics where Dean is being abused by John or others sexually, physically or both and he tries to hide it from everyone and where he protects Sam by taking the abuse.  They could include any other pairings, Destiel, etc.  Lots of angst a plus.  I've read quite a few but hopefully there are some out there I have not read yet.  Can be high school or any other time period.

I am also looking for two specific fics.
1.  Dean was raised by John I think he kidnapped him or got custody and Sam was raised by Mary.  Mary was remarried to someone rich.  It is not Sink or Swim but very similar.  There was no Charlie in this one.  Dean was abused and has a hard time adjusting.  At one point he overhears Sam say he wishes Dean never came there and he runs away and overdoses in an ally and ends up in the hospital.  It might not even be complete.  I believe its Destiel too.
2.  Dean and Sam are with John and John abuses Dean, one time he ends up in the hospital.  They end up being foster cared by the Novaks who have other foster kids, maybe Benny is one?.  Dean has panic attacks and flashbacks.  This part may be part of this story or I am mixing it up with another story, and if so then I would like that story name too, but Dean goes back to their apartment and finds a journal that John kept of all the abuse he did to Dean with pictures.  They go to court and when it seems like John may go free Dean gives the journal to the judge.  Dean ends up in a treatment center that uses art I think?

Thank you
22 August 2017 @ 10:20 pm
Hi guys, I'm back with another weird request. I was wondering if anyone could please recommend any stories where Dean is raped. I would prefer if it's not an AU and if it happens somewhere in the actual story-line (pre-series is good too).
Bonus points if Sam or Cas comfort him once they find out.
Multi-chapter stuff is preferred but one-shots are fine.
Current Music: Don't Wake Me - Skillet
Current Mood: tired

I was hoping you could help me find Stanford era Dean-centric fics that have MINIMAL Sam angst. I'm tired of starting promising looking fics only to discover Dean spends all his time missing Sam or thinking about how smart and strong he is to get out of the life. It's both out of character and uninteresting to me when Dean has no anger or resentment about the fact that he was (in his point of view) abandoned. So I would like recommendations that aren't all about Sam's absence. However, a focus on his relationship with John is more than welcome, as are case fics.

I'm also looking for pre-series fics that explore the dangerous situations Dean was put in as a child with a focus on human monsters. Especially the scarily plausible idea that he was sexually abused in the past. A trope that I'm tired of encountering when it comes to this type of fic is when the predator is originally after Sam and either settles for Dean or Dean offers himself up to protect Sam. Please, recommend me stories that avoid that cliche and have Dean as the one who's in danger from the start. The only fics I'm accepting where that scenario plays out would be ones where Dean is bitter about what happened to him instead of perfectly content that nothing bad happened to his brother.

I apologize for how bitter this request sounds. I just want Dean trauma fic that is about Dean and only Dean and avoids cliches. If you happen to have something that fits the general description without necessarily being pre-series then I welcome that too.
Hello. I have a few general searches I'd appreciate some help with.

1) Any fics dealing with the torture Sam went through at the hands of Michael and Lucifer whilst stuck in the cage.

2) Fics about Sam (either set in or similar to season 7) dealing with Lucifer banging up his noggin.

3) Possible AU's where Sam actually was still stuck in the cage and Lucifer was just messing with his head, rather than Sam just being crazy.

4) Any alpha/omega style fics where Dean/Cas/Sam are omegas and have abusive alphas, with some hurt/comfort in there of course.

5) Fics where Cas has somehow become human and turns to Sam and Dean for help, but Dean (or Sam) decides they can't forgive him for the things he's done and abuses him in secret. (And I've already read Repent Of Your Sins (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1178489), which is what got me onto this in the first place.

I'd appreciate the help. Thanks guys.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Five Finger Death Punch, Battle Born
Hello, me again.

Specific fic: There's this alpha/omega style fic I started reading a week ago but forgot to bookmark, I think it may have been on AO3, and it had Dean, Cas, Charlie and I think someone named Gilda(?) where they were at some sort of omega resort, and Cas and Dean were in a relationship that their alphas' didn't know about. I think I got up to the point where Cas reveals his alpha has taken him off of birth control and Dean kinda freaks out a bit. That's all I can remember.

General searches:
1) Any alpha/omega style fics where Dean/Cas/Sam are omegas and have abusive alphas, with some hurt/comfort in there of course.

2) Fics where Cas has somehow become human and turns to Sam and Dean for help, but Dean (or Sam) decides they can't forgive him for the things he's done and abuses him in secret. (And I've already read Repent Of Your Sins (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1178489), which is what got me onto this in the first place.

I'd appreciate the help. Thanks guys.
Current Music: Breaking Benjamin, Anthem Of The Angels
Current Mood: drained
21 November 2016 @ 01:23 pm
I have a few general searches:

1) Anything where Dean is abused by someone but keeps it a secret from everyone, but then when they're adults someone (John, Sam, Bobby etc.) finds out and comforts him.

2) Something where Dean suffers through really bad abuse in order to protect Sam from it (preferably teenchester or weechester).

3) Dean or Sam is being abused by John and the other finds out.

If anyone could help me out that'd be great!
16 October 2016 @ 08:18 pm
Hi, so I'm looking for any fics that are centered around Dean and John, where John is an abusive/neglectful father and doesn't treat Dean the way he treats Sam. I'm open to any and all kind of abuse, whether it be sexual or psychological. Preferably no wincest, but that doesn't really bother me too much.
14 October 2016 @ 01:41 pm
Hi is there any fics where Dean abuses Cas or the other way around whilst in a relationship?

I don't mind if it is emotional, mental, sexual, financial or physical but would prefer physical.

Thank you.
Current Mood: calm
14 August 2016 @ 06:40 pm
I read this fic on AO3 a while back and somehow failed to bookmark it. In it Dean is an omega who comes back home because John is dying. Cas is his doctor and an alpha. In this reality omegas are second class citizens and Dean had been assulted in the past because of it. It is a very long fic and there is mpreg in it. I've been looking on AO3 and here but haven't been able to track it down. Thanks in advance.
So as the subject line states Sam and Dean are rescued by John. Dean's father is a hunter like John, but unlike John Dean's father sexually abuses him and allows anyone to use his mouth. John saves Dean and threatens or kills Dean's father. Later on John and Dean are working a hunt and this is several years later I believe it's a haunted house. The owner lied to John. John hears a noise from a closet and instead of finding a ghost he finds Sam who asks if his Daddy is coming back and John saves Sam as well. I know that these fics are actually a verse and I can't for the love of me find it.
06 August 2016 @ 10:32 pm
1) Looking for fics where Dean is abused by John (or Sam) and saved by other people (Bobby, Pastor Jim, random people). Any kind of abuse is welcome.

2) This may be one fic or several fics that had the same theme. Dean dies in the main universe. John and/or Sam somehow enter an alternate universe. The Dean in that universe is being abused by its John and Sam. So original John and/or Sam rescue alt!Dean and bring him back to their universe to save.
01 August 2016 @ 07:33 pm
I read this Fanfic sometime last year and have been searching for it for about 3 months now!

Dean and Sam return back to a cabin (in a swamp possibly) where they stayed a summer as children. During the duration of that summer Dean is molested. In one of the chapters (a telling of he events) it is described as being hot and sticky as Dean is wrapped in a blanket sleeping on the floor while Sam sleeps on the bed. Dean is only abused when Sam is sleep. Dean begins acting peculiar and distraught.
Sam does not know about any of this until he peers through the Cabin door and sees that the man is going to rape Dean again. Sam is enraged and shocked. He then knocks the door down and attacks the man. Dean is now catatonic or acting like nothing happened. Sam tells Dean that they need to talk about (I believe they are in a kayak-boat now). Dean dismisses/objects/declines Sam at first but then tells him what happened. The narration alternates between NOW (current events) to THEN (Sometime in the 80's/90's.)
John is not involved as he left them there while he was on a hunt. John is friends with the man who is possibly a hunter.

1. I am looking for a story where Dean is beat up by a bunch of guys from his school who are on the football team, he goes to Bobbie's to get help. He's pretty beat up and it turns out that most, if not all of them, were possessed. Bobby comments how it is amazing that he survived. At one point John and Sam arrive , discuss the situation ( it has something to do with Sam's power) they leave Dean alone at Bobby's where I think he gets attacked again. No pairing.

2. A deaged Dean fiction where Dean is 13 -17. Everyone , mostly Sam but Bobby a little too, wants him to stay young but Dean remembered how hard it was to be so pretty at that age. Sam forces him to go to school but he is sexually assaulted by his classmates. Sam has difficulty realizing that Dean is used to being strong and invulnerable . I think the witch that cursed him lives or hangs out on the beach. He eventually finds her.
Found!: The Do-Over

I read a fanfiction where is in an abusive relationship with Michael and Castiel is Michael's boss. Michael forces dean to sleep with castiel in order to give himself better chances at work.
I think that it was in an a/b/o universe and I'm pretty sure that it was on ao3.

Does anyone know the story?

Oh and I think that it was Part of a series!
Current Mood: curious
A young Dean (early teens?) suddenly drops Sam off at Bobby's door before insisting on going back to the hunter they'd been staying with.  John had them staying with the other man to learn from some one else for a while.  Dean had called his dad for help, but John though he was just being stubborn.  Bobby figured out that the hunter had been raping Dean and was about to start in on Sammy when Dean fled.  And enraged Bobby threatened John for not listening to Dean and allowing his boys to be hurt.

Ring any bells with anyone?  I thought I had this one saved but can't seem to find it again.
Hi! I'm looking for two fics I remember reading years ago, but haven't been able to track down since.

1. Dean is on the run from evil!Sam. Dean is in a bar while Sam is on tv telling the world that Sam will kill someone for every day Dean doesn't turn himself in. The folks in the bar don't consider this to be a problem; Dean does, and turns himself in.

Second request behind the cut for rape: Second request )
Hi y’all,

I’m looking for fics that feature any kind of hurt!Dean (injured on a solo hunt or after he got separated from his hunting partner, hooking to get money, in Hell, kidnapped, captured, tortured… you get the gist). I know there are tons of fics like that out there, but I would like to find those that don’t use hurt!Dean as a reason to pity him, show how damaged and broken he is and how he needs protection from Sam/Cas/whoever.

I’d like to read those that concentrate on the fact that even after going through something awful, Dean’s still strong enough to pull through. To endure, to wait it out, if need be. Bend, or even break, but also to put those broken pieces together again. To survive. (And still be able to find joy in life, to see good in the world, to care about those around him.)

In a similar vein, I’m also looking for hurt!Dean fics where Dean saves himself instead of having to wait for somebody else to come and save him. Maybe he overpowers/outsmarts his kidnappers and even wounded and bleeding, manages to get to a phone and call for someone to come for him. Maybe he dislodges himself from the tree trunk that fell on him when he was hunting a wendigo and manages to stagger/limp/crawl from the woods, reach the Impala and drive himself to a hospital.

Of course the fic doesn’t have to feature Dean only, other characters can be there too, and help him along the way, but Dean should be the one who pulls most of the weight when it comes to his rescue.

I’ll take gen, slash or het, any pairings. And I’ll be grateful for any suggestions. Thank you!

ETA: these are some stories that I’ve already read and that are in the spirit of what I’m looking for: Highway Chile, Wolf in Lamb’s Clothing, Ramble On, The 1300 Days, Last Child, Please Exit Hell Quietly by the Rear Doors, the Drive 'verse.

Even though Dean is in a really bad way in most of those, I feel they all showcase his strength of will, his determination to fight, in one way or another.
Current Mood: hopeful
Okay our awesome SPN family, we are dying to reread an old fic that we can't find and it's KILLING me and the others for days. So can anybody help us?

• It's a great Destiel ABO fic, AlphaCas/OmegaDean where Castiel is a Cop or Detective. Read a hard details ->>> )

• I remember in one point Cas broke his head in the bathroom and fainted and Dean couldn't take him out and in bed, because Cas was a big alpha and too heavy for Dean, so he stayed with him there and called Cas's ?friends/colleagues for help, because he was worried.

It's kind of sad but has an uplifting ending. It's a very old story and we think it's on ao3.
Lot of reader looked it but this is nowhere... :( It would be nice if somebody can find it for us...

Ps.: It's not the "Into your Hideaway" or "Eucalyptus". This story have other details!
Ps.2 & 3. ->> )
01 March 2016 @ 12:03 am
I'm looking for a specific story that meets the following criteria (under the cut):

Read more... )

Thanks in advance for your help! I've been looking for this story for several days.

FOUND: Demons Took Them Away by lipah (Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] nicky69 for the find!)
20 January 2016 @ 02:31 pm
I'm looking for a story where John leaves the boys with another hunter while he's on a hunt. Dean calls John and tries to tell him that the hunter wants Dean to do sexual stuff with him in exchange for having them there, but John misunderstands and thinks Dean is trying to get out of research or something. Dean does what John says but when the other hunter wants Sam to join in too, Dean immediately leaves. Later, John finds out and is horrified that Dean thinks he would ask him to do that and he goes and gets revenge.
23 December 2015 @ 12:39 am
Okay Guys,

I'm looking for a fic set pre series where John goes for a few days (weeks?) to spend time with Adam though the boys don't know that. So John leaves them with a hunter who is meant to be getting their help with research or something similar and the hunter was abusig Dean - I'm fairly certain it was sexual - and so Dean gets Sam and takes him to Bobbys to protect him and when John finds out he's angry. Also Dean thinks John gave this other hunter permission to do this to him. Then when John finds out he feels all guilty cause he was spending time with Adam whilst Dean was suffering.

I'm pretty sure this is a one-shot.

If anybody has a link to this fic I would greatly appreciate it :)
25 November 2015 @ 04:39 am

I'm looking for this one specific homeless teen Dean fic. He meets Castiel behind a dumpster behind the Roadhouse (I think?) when he's looking for a place to sleep after he got kicked out by his dad. In the end they both sleep there. They both work as a prostitute, sometimes together. One day Alistair kidnaps Dean and they don't find him for a few days (weeks?). In the end Dean ends up in the hospital and Sam and John are there as well? -->
I lost all my bookmarks so if anyone could rec some longer (preferably at least 10k but if you think a shorter one is amazing too please add as well :) ) fics with these themes that would be great;
- Dark pre-stanford/stanford era. Dean centric.
- Abused!Dean (all the abuse, by everyone, canon or au)
- Abused!Castiel (again all the abuse)
- Abused Sam, but only by Castiel,Dean or John.
- Any other dark stories with Dark!Sam/Dean/Cas
- Any story where John comes back from the dead after season 5.

15 November 2015 @ 06:19 pm
Hey, looking for a story I read years ago on fanfiction where Dean is abducted by aliens. (NOT SEASON 6)
I'm pretty sure it was set in either season 1 or 2 and the brothers are working a case about people getting abducted. I remember a certain amount are abducted by aliens and I think its the last one who they return.
The brothers go to the place where the last abduction took place, even though I don't think they believe its aliens. When the spaceship turns up Sam tells Dean its here and Dean's like 'really? I hadn't noticed'. Dean gets abducted and Sam goes back to see someone who had previously been taken & they tell Sam that Dean will return on a certain day in the place where he was taken and when Sam goes back to that place he finds Dean who is traumatised. I'm sure the aliens have tentacles or something and abuse Dean, and they continue to traumatise him even when he's asleep and safe with Sam.
I'm also sure John turns up at some point and tries to help his son.

Hopefully someone recognizes it, would love to read it again.
25 October 2015 @ 04:40 pm
There are a surfit of fics that feature Dean taking abuse (sexual and/or physical) to spare Sam, and a far lesser number that feature Sam doing something similar, but I can't seem to find many that have both of them in a bad situation.

So, anyone know of any fanfics where both Sam and Dean are being abused? Don't care by whom, but happy endings are preferred. Its also cool if the abuse is all in the past. Maybe they each thought they were the only one being hurt and it comes out years later that they both were?

Also, I'm interested in any fics that might feature Sam or Dean in an abusive relationship in the Stanford era. And maybe finally calling their sibling for help when it finally goes too far, or Sam or Dean being contacted by the hospital when their siblings abuser nearly kills them? Does that exist?

And I'm REALLY interested in all of the above featuring end game Destiel and/or Sabriel. Or gen. (Mpreg and a/b/o stuff doesn't bother me either, but I'm not really into worlds where omegas are seen as lesser beings.)

Please NO wincest, non supernatural AUs, or RPF. (I realize that probably cuts my options down but its just not my thing.)

Thank you!!!

Note: I really had to fight with my tablet to hit the right tags, sorry in advance if I missed one or hit a wrong one.
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Emily Portman - Stick Stock
02 August 2015 @ 11:34 pm
Hi there I'm looking for any fics set while John is still alive in which Dean is abused sexually or raped, but NOT by John. I'm not interested in that. What I am interested in is:

1. Dean being abused and John finding out later and being the protective vengeful father.
2. Dean being attacked and John stopping it or finding him after the attack. I love the idea of John patching Dean up.
3. John being angry at Dean for some reason, maybe because he was irresponsible and left Sam, but then finding out what really happened.
4. Dean being raped or abused in some way in order to protect Sam and Sam or John finding out about it.

I am happy to have fics set after John is dead if they involve Sam finding out about what happened in the past. I am also happy with any pairing as long as it's m/m, but NOT John/Dean. Wincest is fine, I also love Destiel so that's okay as long as it is focused on what happened to Dean in the past.

*bonus points if it focuses heavily on the father son relationship between John and Dean. John doesn't need to be nice in it, just no sexual content between them.
**bonus points if it's set when they are young and another adult like Bobby or Ellen are more concerned about Dean's well-being than John is because he doesn't pay enough attention.
***extra bonus points if Dean has serious self-esteem issues as a result of what happens to him, the more angst the better. I know I'm cruel :p

This all sounds very specific but really anything you can send my way that is related to these issues is appreciated, I haven't read many of these kinds of fics so hopefully your searching skills are better than mine :) Thanks and happy hunting!!
Hi, I can't find this fic and I'm really hoping someone can help me:

It was a relatively short Robo!Sam/Dean noncon story where Sam assaulted Dean in the bathroom of a gas station and they had sex which ended up being pretty much like Sam's sex scene in 6.13 "Unforgiven".

Would be great if someone knew what I'm talking about. Thanks!
Hi! I recently read two very good fics, both similar in some ways but very different and enjoyable! They were

The Spirit of Lawrence High (http://archiveofourown.org/works/2594180/chapters/5776937): Dean Winchester is funny, gorgeous, brave, loyal, and a breath of fresh air in Castiel Shurley's life. Dean Winchester is also a ghost haunting Castiel's school, but nobody's perfect, right?


Jump the Track (http://archiveofourown.org/works/224944): It's Dean's senior year at Lawrence High, and he's already given up on himself. It takes the arrival of the strange, intense, awkward Castiel Delacroix at the school to prove to Dean that maybe his life is worth saving after all.

One similarity that both of these fics have are that Dean was raped by Alastair. The rape isn't central to the plot, and the stories mainly focus on the romance, but the angst is exactly the kind of thing I love.

I was wondering if anyone knew of any other AU fics out there with this kind of a plot? If two's a coincidence I'm hoping someone can find a third and make it a pattern. I do enjoy reading fics that are completely original and complex, but sometimes I enjoy sitting back and working through several stories with kind of the same basic setup and ingredients, especially when I'm stressed. Not that these fics aren't both creative and complicated, but they share very similar themes that I'd like to read more of!

Specific ingredients I'm looking for: Teenage Destiel (or I'd settle for college), regular-kid!Castiel, kind-of-outcast!Dean, low-self-esteem!Dean, bad-guy-teenage!Alastair. I also enjoy themes of depression, rape/assault recovery, and developing relationship.

Thank you!
22 May 2015 @ 09:26 am

I'm looking for stories that have Dean being abandoned or taken for granted by his family, especially John. Abuse is okay too. Anything where Dean is being treated like shit by his family. If he leaves them or does something about it, that's great! I love when Bobby is involved.

(mods, I hope this is ok. I know a bunch of folks have asked/searched for this story)

[livejournal.com profile] saraid has reposted her amazing story "Into my Head," which a lot of folks have searched for.

Summary: "Child Services caseworker Sam St. John moved from San Antonio, Tx, to Galveston, searching for a more gay-friendly environment. He never expected to meet Dean Winchester and his family, who run a horse ranch and riding stable on the island. They welcome him with open arms and Sam can't help falling for the silent green-eyed man.
Notes: Dean and Sam's biological relationship is undetermined and will remain so."

08 May 2015 @ 12:12 am
Hey guys,
Found in the comments thank you!
I'm looking for a specific non-con destiel fic, I don't remember many details.

- Sam, Dean and Cas are all traveling together.
- Sam thinks Dean and Cas are in a consensual relationship and books 2 motel rooms so they could have privacy.
- Cas became a human or is graceless
- Cas is not allowed to sleep on the bed, he has to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag.
- Cas is abused by Dean as punishment.
- Sam finds out Cas is not allowed to sleep on the bed and freaks out.
- I'm pretty sure it was on ao3 but it could also be on livejournal.

I'm also looking for some dark destiel fics, preferably hosted on livejournal.
One of them is dark, both of them are dark, neither of them are dark but they're in a dark situation,etc...
Au's are more than welcome, as are self-recs. I like Sam too so I'm totally okay with him being in the story as well.
Happy ending not required.
I'm looking for a fic in which Dean was about 18 or 19, I think, and went to a bar. He was gone for too long, and John and Sam went to look for him. They found out that the bartender had kind of a business going on with two regulars who paid him to keep quiet when they drugged young men and took them back to their place. John and Sam got the address and went to find Dean, who had been drugged with Versed, which made him pliable but conscious, but also which would make him have no memory of the incident. He hadn't been raped yet, but they were feeling him up on camera and it was implied that one of them had given him a blowjob.

Along those lines, I'd love any fics that involve Dean being sexually abused as a teenager in a similar way, especially if Sam or John found out. No Wincest please.
21 April 2015 @ 12:19 pm
Hey guys, I'm looking for some stories where Dean or Jensen is just fucked up. I'm looking for some high quality angst in a Dean or Jensen centered story. I'm not pick about the length, and my preferred ships are J2, Wincest, DeanCas, and Cockles. I also prefer bottom!Dean and bottom!Jensen, so let me know otherwise, please. If it's RPS, please no wife-hate!
Thank you!!
11 March 2015 @ 07:29 pm

There were three fics that I read at various points in time and despite combing through my bookmarks, I can't seem to find them (probably because I have too many bookmarks...).

Anyway, the first was a Destiel fic alternate season 4/5 sorta deal. At some point, it's revealed that Dean is God or something of the sort and he has to seal the gates of heaven to stop the Apocalypse. There's a scene in the end where he's about to sacrifice himself and he's telling Cas to let all the angels know that he's closing the gates for good and whoever wants out of Heaven needs to go now. Cas figures out that he plans on dying to finish his mission and begs him to "let it go" (but i don't remember what 'it' was in this fic).

The second story is also Destiel, I think. Dean and Sam were hunting something in the beginning of the story and Dean's supposed to be protecting Grace (or something - I'm fuzzy on the details) and ends up swallowing it, thus gaining all sorts of powers and whatnot? That's all I really remember for that one.

The final one is Wincest non-con. Apparently the author wasn't a big Wincest fan but was tasked with writing a Wincest fic anyway and wrote one where Sam was possessed and rapes Dean. The story opens, I believe, with Sam handcuffed to the bed by Dean but he doesn't remember why or what happened. Dean's skittish and uncomfortable around Sam (as one would imagine) but still hunts with him. I think Sam figures out what he's done once he sees bruises on some part of Dean's body. I believe there also may have been a sequel? Pretty sure I read this one on ff.net. (And it's not the story where Sam and John were possessed and raped Dean as Hands and Fist under Dick Roman's control.)

20 February 2015 @ 12:04 pm
Hey Guys! I'm looking for a specific fic where dean is sexually abused by one of his teachers. The teachers is male and he always gives dean detention for small things like arriving a minute late to lesson or something. Dean is abused by the teacher during the detention. Also Sam waits outside Deans locker for him and bitches at Dean for getting another DT while Dean explains that he didn't do anything. Anyway later on I think Dean gets hurt on a hunt or its something that requires him, Sam and John to make a trip to the hospital and I'm pretty sure Dean was unconscious and the doctor/nurse tries to take his pants of and he wakes up and starts shouting and begging and then John is questioned and I think the teacher gets caught.

I remember it really well just not the title or author so of anybody knows what this fic is it would be really appreciated! Also I think it was on fanfiction.net though I'm not entirely sure.

Thanks :)

Found In Comments
Hi everyone!
I've been looking through the suicidal tag and I gave up for like 2 pages, cuz they're ALL suicidal!Sam. So I decided just to try my luck here...

I'm looking for stories where Dean is suicidal for whatever reason(Sam leaving him, feel unworthy, being tortured/raped, etc), and he tries to hurt or kill himself and Sam or John or whoever finds out about it and feels guilty or something like that.

I prefer gen fic and stanford!era, or stories set in the first few seasons, but other eras are OK. If the fic has slash content I'd love it features a bottom!Dean. I love long fics, so that I can cry over and savour Dean's pain. ;)

Bonus if the person finds out about it feels super guilty (cuz they are neglecting Dean or something they've done hurt Dean very very badly) and becomes super protective over Dean.
Bo-bonus if the fic also has some delicious hurt!Dean. Cuz Dean is so beautiful when he's broken. XD

Hope I can get manysome recs. ><

Thanks in advance!
07 January 2015 @ 08:02 pm
So I'm looking for this kinkmeme fill that I'm sure is on blindfold. I've looked through all the pages and I just can't seem to find it again, even on the pinboard. It might be on another meme but I'm almost positive it was blindfold_spn.

It's a really dark fic with really intense and disturbing subject matter, but I just can't get it out of my head. Details are under the cut.

Subject matter involving underage non-con and incest under cut )

Anyway, it was really horrible but I just can't stop thinking about it and if anyone can find it, that would be so awesome. I've been looking for it for months and months.

Mods, I've never used a cut before and I don't know if it worked. Please, please don't post this entry without the cut, just let me know how to fix it if it doesn't work! Thank you!
I know I would be a real jerk asking for this but I just can't help it, so please don't hate me, I do love Sam myself :sob:

I'm hunting for stories in which Sam (or Cas, or anyone else but preferable Sam) loves so see Dean's tears, so he says harsh and mean words just to make Dean tears up, no physical abuse though.

Also, I'm looking for stories with NON-AU Dean or Jensen being in an abusive relationship with Sam or Jared (or Cas/Misha).
I have been searching for these for like 9 months and still couldn't find anythinhg :(

Oh and Bottom!Dean only please. Thank you! :x

Edit: Just remember a specific lost fic: Sam and Dean get three wishes from Santa (?) and use one to kill all the bad things on the world (monster, creatures, demons...). I'm mostly sure that it's Wincest. Please let me know if you bookmarked this one :x
24 November 2014 @ 08:29 pm

I feel like I've read all the good fan fics out there- I need help!

I'm looking for well-written multi-chapter, angsty, hurt!Dean fics with lots of brotherly love (AUs are my favorite- I like plot twists that take me by surprise!)

Please no angels, no destiel and no sexy business :P (doesn't have to be gen, just no sex scenes)

To make it easier for you, here are some specific things I'd like:

  1. Permanent injury

  2. Bullied!Dean, abused!Dean

  3. Weechesters

  4. Pre-series hurt!Dean

  5. Dean hiding injury or abuse

  6. Permanent injury due to torture

  7. PTSD (not hell related tho)

  8. Domestic fics

Hi all, this is an older fic and I'm really vague on the details.

Dean and Sam not raised together. Probably on ff.net. Dean was a prostitute and Sam was being raised by a nice middle class family. I think they had the opportunity to take Dean at the same time but chose not to. At the start of the fic I think Dean somehow escaped/ran away from a 'john' in a hotel with Sam's help? Sam and his family were staying in the hotel too which was really lucky as the bad guy was a planning to kill (he was a serial killer?) Dean. I think they both realise they're long lost brothers. Sam talks his parents into taking Dean back home with them and letting Dean stay with them. I think another (or the same) serial killer/demon starts tracking Dean. Also Dean has a lot of trouble fitting in and Sam's mum has issues with Dean too (possibly guilt? She might have been the one to say no to adopting Dean in the first place). That's all I have. So, thanks in advance.
03 October 2014 @ 02:34 pm
OK I know this is extreme request to ask for but are there any fics involving dean being molested or pedophile who likes him.
I rather prefer dean being older but underage is OK.
22 September 2014 @ 12:31 am
Hi everyone - I'm looking for a Wincest fic. It's in Sam's POV, and he witnessed John raping Dean and killed John with a gun. CPS was called, and they took in Dean and Sam. Dean said that he killed John, and he was put into some sort of mental institution. Sam was later adopted by a healthy normal family. Years later, word gets out that Dean escaped and that he was looking for Sam. While this happens, Sam was already having a relationship with Dean, although Sam had no idea that Dean is his brother. There's a scene where when Sam finds out that Dean is actually his brother, Sam hurts Dean but really regrets it afterwards and kisses Dean until Dean responds back.

And then Dean tells him that he was abused by his psychologist but he was "smart about it" and was paid for having sex with the psychologist. Then Dean says that he'll take care of Sam from now on.

Thank you in advance! :)
21 September 2014 @ 09:00 pm
Okay, so I am looking for a specific story and general recs.

Specific: Story about John having abused Dean repeatedly (sexually and physically) and it all comes to light at a party that I think was because Sam either graduated or had brought Jess to the Roadhouse where they are staying. Everyone gets really pissed off at John and Dean has no self esteem to speak of. I know its on here somewhere but I have spent several hours searching through tags and can't find it! Argh!

General: Any stories about others discovering that John had abused/neglected/abandoned boys, esp. Dean.

Thanks ya'll
14 July 2014 @ 06:08 pm
I'm looking for two fics:

1) It's a specific fic, and i'm afraid I don't have much to go on. It's a car accident fic, Jensen/Jared, where Jared is driving and Jared is in the passenger seat. They're hit by a drunk driver and Jared has to go into the hospital while Jensen is okay because Jared protected him. I remember one line because it was so sweet: "The officers voice is soft and gentle. 'You don't know? When we got to the scene of the accident and we had to pull you guys out of the car, your friend's body was hunched over yours. Kinda like he was protecting you.'"

2) The second one is a general category. I read the Broken Verse while going through the abused!Dean tag and i was wondering if you guys had any favorite fics similar to this that you could rec to me. Basically fics where Dean is abducted and forced into sexual slavery. Sam has to rescue a disoriented Dean who believes Sam is now his master and must please him sexually, and Sam teaches him how to be "normal" again. What i really want is protective!Sam, where he is forced into the role of big brother instead of little brother. 
05 July 2014 @ 02:42 pm
Hello all, I'm here looking for some stories with Sam abuses Dean:

1. They still live together, hunt together and Sam is not really evil, just always angry and abusive and can't control himself, it can be a storm of abuse or just some punch. Maybe it's because of the demon blood or Sam is jeolous or his head is too messed up that he believe Dean hates him or he blames Dean for something or simply just because he's angry, ect. I hope it's not only one time but repeatedly. Bonus point if at some point Sam feels guilty, bigger bonus for Dean's low self esteem, think he deserves it and doesn't blame Sam.

2. Pre-series mean Sam bullies Dean (with or without knowing).

3. Dean comes out and gets hurt because of a homophobia Sam

And again, bonus point for guilty!sam and Dean's low self essteem.

No possessed!sam and lucifer!sam, robo!sam is okay if Dean hasn't find out that yet. Wincest is good but bottom!dean only please. Lol this is funny since I really really don't hate Sam, just in the mood, Thank you x100000 :kiss kiss:
28 June 2014 @ 06:38 pm
It takes place in two time frames: now and when they were in school. The school is haunted and they are there for the hunt. They realize they went there and Dean, obviously, does not have pleasant memories. I think the janitor is the ghost and goes after Dean again.

(I tagged as much as I could remember)
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