Internalized homophobia

[moonshowers.livejournal.com]

I'm looking for any fics where one of the characters experiences internalized homophobia.

I prefer Jared/Jensen, Sam/Dean and Dean/Castiel, but would be open to recs from other pairings, too.

Comments

[elwarre.livejournal.com]

Grin and Bare It (http://balefully.livejournal.com/643015.html) by balefully: "Jensen Ackles is a physical therapist with an attitude problem. Jared Padalecki is the headlining stripper at the notorious club Ziegfeld's/Secrets, dancing his way through grad school. After a misunderstanding brings them together only to shove them violently apart, the two of them nurse confusing feelings of animosity and lust. Will their differences bring them together, or end up tearing them apart?"

Revelations (http://infatuated-ink.livejournal.com/91970.html) by infatuated_ink: "Jared's friends all think he should hate Jensen, and maybe they're right. After all, Jensen hates him, hated him from the moment they met, just because he found out Jared is gay. But Jared can't make himself feel angry, can't even make himself stay away. Instead he secretly befriends Jensen, and learns that Jensen's been holding on to some secrets of his own."

Don't Hide Your Light (http://archiveofourown.org/works/210177) by laisserais: "From a very young age, Jensen has been told what it means to be a man, and he does everything he's supposed to. His next-door neighbor, Jared, doesn't seem to get it. Jensen moves to New York after college and loses touch with nearly everyone in his hometown. Everyone except Jared, who, even though he's unashamedly, flamboyantly gay, is Jensen's best friend. After years of solitude in New York, Jensen's life is turned upside down when Jared moves in with him, following his dream of being a fashion designer. Jared's easy charm and the way he can make friends anywhere have always inspired Jensen, and he wonders if maybe there isn't one more lesson he can learn as he watches Jared become an overnight success."

[citrusjava.livejournal.com]

Can't link atm, but Nyx's Stranger than Fiction, Astolat's Underhill

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

This story touches on that--it's In a Mirror Distorted and Indistinct (http://archiveofourown.org/works/222249) by Felisblanco. it deals with lack of self-esteem as well and a significant part of it is internalized homophobia. It's J2.

[moonshowers.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the recs. I've just read Don't Hide Your Light and it was perfect! Looking forward to reading everyone's suggestions.

[elwarre.livejournal.com]

If you're still looking for these, I just read one tonight that is possibly my favorite rpf to date: Ashes of the Moon (http://corbyinoz.livejournal.com/1718.html) by corbyinoz. It's very long, with religious!Jared/Jensen in the war-torn Democratic Republic of Congo.

[moonshowers.livejournal.com]

Ooh that looks great. Thanks for the rec!