Hi everyone,
I love this fandom, and every last one of it fans! I need help finding a fic. that I read a long time ago, and can't seem to find.

Jensen has been abused in one way or another during his time on every TV show he's been on (emotionally, physically, sexually). He has severe PTSD, and uses drugs, and other self-harming tactics to cope, and to deal with his past abuse.

When he joins the SPN cast and meets Jared feelings develop between the J's, but Jensen is severely damaged but wants to be a stronger, and better person for Jared and eventually tells Jared about all the abuse. I remember Jared feeling overwhelmed, and torn between being happy that Jensen finally starts to tell him his painful past, and physically ill from Jensen's sometimes awkward, and sudden outburst of all the ugly things he went through.

I also remember that Jensen actually believed he wasn't worthy of love, friendship, or even being in Jared's company, and that he was very vulnerable and the story made me cry.

Oh, and Jared has a fight outside of a movie rental place with an old abuser of Jensen's, because the CW star starts calling Jensen a whore, and slut. I think the old abuser actually was with another CW star that he was currently dating, and Jared felt sorry for the new boyfriend and eventually helped that actor out of his abusive relationship with the unknown abuser. If I remember correctly Jensen and the other abused CW star both end up living with Jared. Also, Jared gets physically, and emotional ill himself from neglecting his own needs and putting Jensen's first all the time.

I hope someone remembers this story because I can't find it:-D