06 October 2017 @ 01:18 am
Hello! I was so hesitant to post anything up on this community but once I started I couldn’t stop 😅 y’all are great help!

I’m looking for a few kind of fics:

1) Schmoop fics that warms the heart. I want some hardcore cuddling and sweet smooches going on. It’ll be great if Sam is the little spoon 🥄 or the bottom in the relationship.

2) Angst fics that talked about suicidal Sam. Fics regarding him trying out Lucifer’s promise to revive him, or about the demon blood and what not!

3) Actually, the more hurt the better! Not so much about physical injuries, I’m looking for emotionally hurt Sam fics. I want him feeling lonely with Dean being pissed at him and the angels going against him and all that jazz.

4) Fics about Jensen/Dean cheating on Jared/Sam. I want all the guilty Dean/Jensen fics in the world!!! I only ask if it’ll be bottom Jared/Sam only please.

Thanks so much! Y’all are the greatest!
03 August 2017 @ 06:26 pm
Hi all,

I've been a little short on fics lately so I'd love some recs from you lovely finders. I have a few parameters I'd like met, but anything similar should make me pleased as punch. Thank you in advance for any links y'all provide.

Things that are key:
Wincest or pre-slash gen (so it feels pretty gay)
Bottom!Sam only, please!
Not only PWP--some plot required

Things that I'd prefer:
Early seasons (1-3) or Kripke-Gamble era (6&7)
Hurt!Sam, either physically, mentally, or both (I'm a big fan of post Cage!Sam, kidnapped!Sam, depressed/suicidal/self harming!Sam, insecure!Sam)
Case fics are great, or at least something non-AU (so it has to deal with hunting or life on the road or the season plot arc)
Sexual tension is SOOO GOOOOD. I especially love fucked up!Chesters? Like their love isn't all floofy and cheesy? They'd kill for each other in a heartbeat, or they suck at communicating and fuck away their problems lol (it feels realistic to me when they know they share something but can't really touch on it at first, like in West Verse)
At least a hint of dark topics or spooky things
I like when Sam's powerbottomy or a lil slutty

So I know this is a really disjointed list haha but I've definitely read fics that fit the bill! I mentioned West Verse, there's also Play It Again, Sam, and Dictionary for a Dead Language... just to name a few I've read and loved.

Thank you again! Have a lovely week!

I'm looking for a specific j2 fic in which the world has less and less males and females capable of producing children and therefore it has become regulated by the government to assign breedable people to partners. Jensen, who had never been tested, only finds out he is one when he goes to take the final physical exam for a new job he was due to start & that's when his world comes crashing down around him. He loses most of his legal rights, his freedom, his fiance, everything, etc... He tries to fight it through legal means but he loses his case in court. He ends up being assigned to Jared, who is so happy & excited to have finally been matched with someone & to have a happy, loving family & live happily ever after. What he ends up with is an unwilling partner who only allows him to have sex with him because the alternative is being sent to a cruel man who would rape him brutally or a brothel type place so Jared is kind of the lesser of 2 evils in his mind. Jared tries to be kind & to win Jensen over & to a certain extent he does in the end but Jensen can't seem to get over the life he lost/the life he would have had with the woman he loved. Jensen does become pregnant due to Jared's couplings with him & while pregnant, he gets visited by his family who are ecstatic that he will have children and while they are there he finds out that his brother has married his former fiance. Both his family's attitude toward his situation and the fact that his brother married the woman he loved are too much for Jensen & he attempts to throw myself down the stairs and kill himself. He survives, as does the baby. Jared is devastated & he doesn't know how to help Jensen because he is in love with Jensen even though his feelings aren't returned. Eventually, Jensen gives birth & refuses to have anything to do with the baby or the other children that follow.
Hi :)
I am looking for a fanfiction which was posted on archieveofourown.org, as far as I remember. It is about Sam who runs away from Dean and into a forest where he tries to kill himself with a knife.
Cas and Dean look for him but can't find him until it's too late.
When Cas finally finds Sam on a clearing he is already dead but he gets brought back to life by Lucifer...
That's all I can remember.
I hope anyone can help me :)
04 June 2017 @ 11:45 pm
I read this AU Destiel fic a long time ago where Dean is depressed and sometimes it gets very bad. Sam is with Jess and they try to help him. Then he meets Cas and they get together. But Dean has an episode of extreme depression and ends up killing himself, thinking Cas would be better off not having to deal with him. I think he jumps out window in front of Cas? Cas then later also kills himself.

Yeah, very tragic ending. But if anyone can help me find it that would be great!
Hello! I've recently read Credit in the Straight World, Outside By the Blue, Blue Moon, Brittle, Boy Falling Out of the Sky, The Air Moves In, Invisible Boy series... Basically if you can find it under Sam Winchester/OMC and it's lengthy on AO3, I probably have read it! I'd love more fics though, so I hope you can help!

1. Fics that have Sam exploring his sexuality with a male, with Dean finding out or walking in on it. Bonus for Dean getting super overprotective! Wincest preferred but I'll take gen too. I don't mind what age they are.
2. Hurt! Sam with comfort. Rape, violence, anything.
3. Sam with an eating disorder or self harming Sam.
4. Infantalism as a lifestyle. I'd prefer baby! Sam if that's possible. I've read SailorChibi's works on Ao3 for this too.
5. Protective/Possessive/Jealous! Dean.
6. Dean walking in on Sam getting off.

I'd love everything to end with a happy ending! No death fics, please. I'm looking for Wincest only, no other pairings. I don't mind if it starts out as another pairing as long as it ends in Wincest. I'll take gen too. Thanks so much in advance :D
22 March 2017 @ 09:08 pm
Hey Everyone,

I'm looking for two fics today.

1 - any good outisder POV stories, I love those and cant get enough of them. So any you can get your hands on.

2- Detoxing Sam I have read tons of those but any good recs you can give me. I'll be happy to take them

3 - Detoxing Sam but ones where you ends up like slitting his wrists and drinking his own blood.

Thanks in advance
27 February 2017 @ 09:09 pm
Hey guys, it's been a while. I'm back with two specific requests, one that I searched for before but never found.

1) crossdressing - Sam and Dean make a bet about something, Sam loses and has to wear a pair of panties, Dean laughs at him and teases him, Sam says something about Dean thinking he's disgusting and gets really upset because he likes wearing the panties. (wincest)

2) suicidal!sam - After Sam finds out he's Lucifer's vessel, he tries to kill himself. Lucifer brings him back but Sam eventually starts committing suicide just to get some rest. This works for a while but eventually the damages start carrying over after he's brought back. (ex. he shoots himself in the head, he's resurrected with a hole in his head; cutting his wrists leaves scars, etc.) (gen, i think)

Thanks for any help!
This is what I get for reading old rec lists; broken links. pdf or download, anyone?

Summary: he cleans the knives with methodical precision, but sometimes he cuts his finger on the blade as it comes off the whetstone.
08 December 2016 @ 10:13 am
Hey y'all!
Huge throwback search to a specific scene from the season finale of season 4. Where "Dean" (Zachariah) left a hateful voice mail to Sam about how he's a monster.

I'd like any fics that deal with that voice mail. Especially if Sam is depressed/hurt from the voice mail, suicidal even. I don't know why but I like to feel their heartache. I'm weird.
Wincest preferred.

I just finished reading Couples' Counseling by Lazy_daze and was craving some unresolved tension/misunderstanding.

Please and Thank you in advance guys!
28 November 2016 @ 11:41 pm
I have looked for well over a month to find these and I could use some assiatance.

I remember Sam and Dean lived jn an apartment and Dean took care of Sam and they no longer hunt. It was a series of fics And In one Sam got sick and was having sensory issues and Dean has all these things to help him like a crash pad in the living room and closet with is full of different sensory items like different textures of things and lights depending on whay is needed at the time for Sam. They were eating breakfast and Sam panics and Dean has to take him to the special closet to calm him. Sam also most of the time sleeps in Deans bed with him and it was not a wincest fic. Just for comfort. It states Dean researced autism to help figure out how to deal with Sam's sensory issues. In a fic in the series it talks about Sam's obsession with blankets because soft things remind him he is not it hell anymore.

Any of this ringing any bells for anyone? It is driving me crazy!

Thank you in advance!

P.S : if anyone else also has any good post hell sam fics where Dean has to help take care of him feel free to drop those in as well.
29 September 2016 @ 11:53 pm
Then Believe That We Have Lost Our Eyes

To deal with the halucinations he harms himself
19 September 2016 @ 01:59 pm
Just a general, non-specific search for stories that feature mentally ill and/or suicidal Jared or Sam. The more dark and messed up the better, I really want him to hurt (I know, I'm a terrible person). It can be AU, non-AU, gen or slash (but if it's slash please only Wincest or Jared/Jensen). I've seen a lot of mentally ill Sam fics out there but not many ones focusing on Jared. The longer the word count the better. Thanks!
Hi everyone!

I want to find a specific pre-series story. In this story, Sam is abused (possibly by John) and Dean takes him away. They live together with Bobby, but Sam grows increasingly clingy and possessive of Dean, and Dean feels obligated to make up for Sam.

I remember a section where Sam cuts his hands because he doesn't like that Dean goes out. Dean later relents under Sam's pressure (so that Sam doesn't hurt himself) but later likes it too. It's wincest.

The story is about 10 chapters long and I remember reading it on livejournal. I am sorry it's vague, but it has been a while since I read it. Thank you!

EDIT: Found it. Should have searched harder before asking but yeaaah.

For those who are also interested: Daddy, Please, No by Hunter King


Hey guys it's that time of the month! I was hoping y'all knew where to find any of the following:

1) sam+benny - sam makes a deal with benny to save dean from purgatory. in exchange, he lets benny drink his blood. benny gets addicted and starts draining sam too much. dean eventually catches them. [FOUND]

2) suicidal!sam - it's a season 5 fic where sam is trying to kill himself in an attempt to keep lucifer from using him as a vessel. it never works but the damage he causes in his attempts starts to come back with him when he's resurrected.

3) wincest - any first time wincest/weecest that is super fluffy/sweet/romantic. as long as there's no angst, it's good.

Thanks for any help!

25 June 2016 @ 08:04 pm
Hi! As I've pretty much combed through the entire AO3 tags and spn pinboard I wanted to ask here as well and see if anyone can point me in the right direction: I'm looking for recs or links to any and all fics that deal specifically with self harm/self injury in ADULT characters (20+) as the main focus of the story. Any genre, any characters, any pairing. I am not looking for highschool AUs or storys depicting teens or younger self injuring. But if it starts with them being younger and then goes on into adulthood, that would work!

What would be amazingly ideal would be non-AU fics involving Dean, Sam, Castiel, or their actor counterparts (Jensen, Jared, or Misha) and involve them being helped or taken care of but again I will take absolutely anything you know of. Thank you!

Hey guys, I'm back and hoping you can help me find any of the following:

1)[FOUND] psychic!sam - a specific sam/jess fic where they and the other psychic kids share a house in california; also any psychic!sam recs where he uses his powers without any angst

2) sick!sam - any stories where sam hide some kind of condition from dean, whether it's hunt injuries/illness/pregnancy/etc.

3)[FOUND] explicit wincest - this is actually a specific story i read a looong time ago and haven't seen since. details under the cut

here )

I'd prefer any recs be gen or wincest.

Thanks for any help, especially on the last one!

26 August 2015 @ 11:38 am
Hi all!

Are there any Selfharm/Suicid Jared fic out there?

I can only find Jensen or Sam.
Current Mood: curious
Current Location: office
Current Music: none
Hi all looking for one specific fic that I know I read a while ago but can't find it, I've written what I can remember down below.

1 - Sam and John are fighting so much that they forget about Dean, I think they might have left him after a hunt and drove off, I'm 99% it was pre series. Also any fics that are like this one with Dean being forgotten during one Sam and John's fights.

2 - Also any fics with Sam and Dean having a massive fight, extra points if there is lots of Hurt Dean and it takes a long time for them to make up.

3 - Any decent Dean attempted suicide fics, I have been through pretty much all the tags and wondering if anyone has anymore.

4 - Any good crossover fics with any of these fandoms - The walking Dead, Buffy, Vampire Diaries, Originals, NCIS, Dark Angel, CSI

Also I haven't been apart of the Supernatural fandom for about two years lived in an area with really slow internet and couldn't afford the TV Lisence (I'm from the UK). So any older fics I probably haven't read and I'm still catching up with the last couple of seasons of Supernatural but spoilers don't bother me in the slightest will still read the fics.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Current Location: United Kingdom, Sunderland
28 July 2015 @ 11:33 am
Looking for 1 specific J2 fic and 3 specific wincest fics.
Cut for long-ish text )

I went through the tags here and searched via google for these fics but nothing came up. I'm terrible with google search though, Hopefully someone can help me thanks :)
13 July 2015 @ 08:39 am
Alrighty, I am seriously having trouble finding fics that don't that are not beyond frustrating either because it is a dead fic unfinished, the plot rocks but the writing makes me want to cry in horror, the writing is to wind baggery for my attention span (like 'you need to turn left, then right, then circle back around...ect' when only need to say 'it is right beside you').    OR TOO SHORT AND NOT SQUEAL IN SIGHT :''(

1. I would love if people can rec fics that boys are bamf and get things done. You know where they are kicking arse and taking names. Whether as hunters or supernatural creatures. Maybe the boys boys destroying some kind of system/plane of existance or just a kick arse on hunt.

2. Fics with Sam having a record of addiction (drugs, self-harm, tobacco, ect) before (and maybe after if you have some) the demon blood.

3. Anyone have any dark!stanford fics.

4. Season Eight Universe Alterations. Where everyone gets their crap together and it either gets better or worse, or everyone stop brushing everyone eles mental states off.

5. Any fics that are based in canon and the boys are angels in there own rights.

Any pairing, any type. No rules, just fics. 
Current Location: bed
Current Music: my computer
Current Mood: exhausted
06 June 2015 @ 08:31 pm

General request: anything where Dean asks a former hook-up not to terminate a pregnancy and to let him have custody...or just where he raises his child. I'd like a focus on him preparing to change his life and provide for a child.

The specific fic is fairly kinky.

I read it ages ago. I can't recall who was in it. It was probably wincest or AU J2.

It had one character who would self-harm. The other character didn't have any desire or inclination toward hurting the first character, but took over the responsibility of harming, so to speak, so that the first character wouldn't end up doing permanent damage. If I recall, I don't think it was a traditional d/s story. I remember it being described tenderly that there was a lot of love between the two, and the harming was seen as selfless to give the first character what he needed. I cannot remember which character was which.
05 May 2015 @ 10:12 pm
I've been reading some Sam angst recently but now I'd like some that is focused on Dean. Fics featuring Depressed or suicidal or self-harming are what I'm looking for. No death fics, please. Happy endings are a must, and plenty of caring and protective Sam. Nothing too long (I can only take angst in small doses)20,000-ish words, and preferably no Castiel. No fics that feature John being an asshole. Gen or Wincest is fine, bottom!Dean if there is any sex.
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: CCR
I'm looking for a specific story, but I also love the whole genre of depressed teenage Sam... so fic recs are welcome in addition to finding the specific story.

I don't remember much about the story, but I remember how it emotionally impacted me. So I'm trying to find it again.

Here is what I can recall:

-Winchesters get to a town where they are going to stay for a while. I think, right away, Sam doesn't like it.
-Sam has a sketchbook. He likes to draw.
-At one point, Sam tears up a picture he drew of Dean and himself. This part is important and I think it's when he reaches rock bottom.
-I'm pretty sure Sam self harms in this story (not certain, but pretty sure).
-It's a slow decline, for Sam, into this pit of depression and low self worth.
16 April 2015 @ 12:45 pm
Okay so I've been searching for this fic for a few months now and I can not find it anywhere I'm positive it's real and I didn't just imagine it. Anyway what I remember is it was when the boys where teenagers and the scene that I can remember is Sam standing on the bed really sad because he is in love with Dean and thinks Dean will never return his feelings and is cutting himself and Dean finds out. The next part is what really stands out to me it's where Dean takes Sam into the bathroom and makes Sam look at himself in the mirror while Dean talks about how good Sam looks or something I'm almost positive that while in front of the mirror Dean rims Sam. Anyway any help would be extremely helpful thanks!!
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Metallica
10 April 2015 @ 12:05 pm
I don't know the exact details of them but this is what I can remember.

1) I think its a sequel to another fic where Sam was kidnapped but that might have just been at the beginning of the book. Sam is struggling to cope after it happens and ends up in a pyschiatric ward. He then tries to kill himself and one of the doctors stayed with him all night after it happened to try and calm him down and then Dean goes and visits him and they end up falling asleep on the couch before someone slams the door waking them up. I think Sam asks why Dean wants to take him home.

2) It's either wee!chester or teen!chester and Dean gets hurt on a hunt and John refuses to let Sam come to the hospital to see him. I think Bobby and maybe Pastor Jim or Caleb are in this story. They try and talk some sense into John but John isn't having any of it. John says something really harsh to Sam when he calls him and then I think Bobby shouts at John. Sam is upset by what's happening and I think he ends up in the hospital too.

Sorry for the terrible descriptions.

Thanks xxx
04 March 2015 @ 07:44 pm
I just remembered, I am also looking for another hurt!Sam fic.

Sam doesn't want to be Lucifer's vessel so he finds a way to lock him out by carving sigils on himself and burning himself with Holy Oil. I know Dean was in it,and Cas too. Cas tried to heal him but coudn't.

Thanks again for your help!

29 January 2015 @ 11:42 am
I remember pretty much everything about this fic since I read it several times, but I can't find it anymore. It's about how Jared's parents died when he was a kid and he went into the foster system, where he was abused by several different sets of foster parents. He then gets put into the care of the Ackles family, who work on a farm. I think it was split into two different parts, the first one with Jared settling into life on the ranch and getting caught in a flash flood after running away, and the second beginning with Jared attempting to kill himself after Jensen gets mad at him, finishing with him and Jensen finally becoming an official couple at the end around Christmas.
Two general story searches:

So, I was recently reading a collection of stories that all featured Suicidal!Sam, which included a few centered around Mystery Spot. I was wondering if anyone had found stories where Gabriel is shocked by how far Sam goes to try to end the loop, and stops the loop as a result? Bonus points if Gabriel has to work to fix Sam's broken mind.

In line with that, does anyone have stories where people are trying to fix Sam's craziness? It can be any form of crazy, from Hell trauma to general life issues. Fixing via talking it out or by magical dream walking are both awesome. Basically, I just love Sam finally getting the help he deserves.

btw, if you don't know what I mean by magical dream walking, check out this fic: Between the Lines of Fear and Blame by Faye Dartmouth
09 January 2015 @ 05:32 pm
I can't seem to find any good Suicidal!Sam fics. I prefer it if John was the cause of Sam's suicide or almost-suicide, but I'll take what I can get.
Current Mood: blah
04 January 2015 @ 01:30 pm
Hello guys!

I'm trying to recall the title of a specific J2 fic and failing spectacularly. In the story, Jared fall upon hard times financially and moves into a big house with roommates Jensen, Danneel, and Misha. Jensen and Danneel are a couple in the story initially but they don't last long. After a while of living in the house, Jared realizes that something is off with Jensen and he finds out that he has multiple personalities - one being very flamboyant that also makes sure everyone knows about his attraction to Jared. There's another personality who's a bit more reserved and shy that I think had feelings for Misha. Danneel breaks up with Jensen after finding out that Jensen's personality was in control and slept with Jared. And I think Jared felt really guilty about it because he felt as though he raped Jensen since he wasn't in the frame of mind to give consent.

If anyone could help me find this awesome story again, I'd appreciate it greatly! :)
pairing: jared/jensen, warning: self harm, warning: suicide, warning: dub-con, kink: mpreg,

I am looking for 2 things right now, have actually been for a long time! PLEASE HELP!!!

1. I'm looking for a specific j2 fic in which the world has less and less males and females capable of producing children and therefore it has become regulated by the government to assign breedable people to partners. Jensen, who had never been tested, only finds out he is one when he goes to take the final physical exam for a new job he was due to start & that's when his world comes crashing down around him. He loses most of his legal rights, his freedom, his fiance, everything, etc... He tries to fight it through legal means but he loses his case in court. He ends up being assigned to Jared, who is so happy & excited to have finally been matched with someone & to have a happy, loving family & live happily ever after. What he ends up with is an unwilling partner who only allows him to have sex with him because the alternative is being sent to a cruel man who would rape him brutally or a brothel type place so Jared is kind of the lesser of 2 evils in his mind. Jared tries to be kind & to win Jensen over & to a certain extent he does in the end but Jensen can't seem to get over the life he lost/the life he would have had with the woman he loved. Jensen does become pregnant due to Jared's couplings with him & while pregnant, he gets visited by his family who are ecstatic that he will have children and while they are there he finds out that his brother has married his former fiance. Both his family's attitude toward his situation and the fact that his brother married the woman he loved are too much for Jensen & he attempts to throw myself down the stairs and kill himself. He survives, as does the baby. Jared is devastated & he doesn't know how to help Jensen because he is in love with Jensen even though his feelings aren't returned. Eventually, Jensen gives birth & refuses to have anything to do with the baby or the other child that follows.

2. I am also looking for any stories like The Billionare's Reluctant Husband.
03 October 2014 @ 02:58 am
Apparently, fall makes me all nostalgic and introspective, and I'm really hankering for some long, slow-burn, angsty first-time Sam/Dean stories. I loved dollylux's Ballad of the Invisible Boy and runedgirl's 143 Alice Grim Lane. I know there have to be more out there like that.

Dark stories are fine - the more angst the better - though I'd prefer there not to be noncon between the boys, and I'm not a big fan of mpreg. Depression, self-harm, AUs, hurt/comfort, it's all great, and I kind of like it when they're brothers. Please, no deathfics that involve either Sam or Dean dying in any kind of permanent way (because I just can't handle that much sadness).

Any favorites along those lines? I would be forever grateful.
Hey there!!!!!!!!!!
I am looking for stories where Sam either attempt suicide or gets seriously injured due to Dean's neglect while he is detoxing in the panic room. I will prefer if it is not wincest!!
Thank you so much!!!
08 September 2014 @ 09:08 pm
Real life sucks! I need some stories with a lot of hurt Jared/Sam and happy ending. I will take everything abuse, illness,
a/b/o as long as it has a happy ending. I need some cheer up!
06 September 2014 @ 02:34 pm
Set in season 7 and Dean overdoses on his pain killers for his broken leg, he washed the pills down with whiskey.. I remember Sam sticking his fingers down Dean's throat and later putting him to bed saying "I hate you so much right now" or something like that.

Anyone? :)
01 September 2014 @ 06:41 pm
Hi friends,
I recently got to read the awesome fics of [livejournal.com profile] freaknout in the journal [livejournal.com profile] fic_freaknout and seriously fell in love with stories about insecure and depressed Jared. And I am really craving for more.
So can you please rec me Non-Au J2 fics where Jared is really depressed/suicidal or has self-esteem issues? Stories where Jared is hiding some deep scars within his cheerful exterior and Jensen helps him get over it? Any Non-Au fics are welcome as long as they have a happy ending.

Thanx a million for always being so helpful :)
Guys, I'm looking for 2 specific J2 fics.

1. Now I know a few details about this fic and I remember a scene from it:
It is not long. Maybe around 10,000?
It is non-au.
Jared is with Sandy in the beginning. Then he breaks up with her. Meanwhile, Jensen is pining over Jared.
In one scene, the guys get drunk with their friends and crash in one of their friend's homes. Jared falls asleep on Jensen's lap. Jensen wakes up when its still dark and just looks at Jared. He thinks cheesy stuff like how his index finger fit perfectly in the sleepy curl of Jared's fingers? Jared wakes up then. He asks Jensen why he didn't wake him up. Jensen wants to give a cheesy answer but he just says, "to watch your face when I do this" and he pushes Jared off his lap. Jared then gets a phone call from Sandy. He apologizes to her and tells Jensen that he is leaving. As he falls asleep again, Jensen wonders if him touching Jared was what woke him up and he smiles as he wishes that it was.
Now I know that's not a lot to go on but can you guys help me?

2. I know a lot of details about this story. Actually, I know the whole plot. But, I can't remember the title or find the story. Help me?
It is a college AU. There are many different kinds of weres. Jensen is a werecat (of the lynx variety). Jared never was able to shift into his were form so he doesn't know what species he is. He comes from a varied were background and the doctors have conducted all kinds of tests on him to find out why he didn't shift. He got bullied a lot as a kid and even had suicidal thoughts. In college Jensen is his TA (or RA, or whatever). He once rescues Jared from being bullied by a group of kids from his floor. Then he befriends Jared. They watch Lord of the Rings. Jensen shows his true wereform to Jared (which people don't usually do in front of people other than their pack). Jensen has a pack. And he introduces Jared to them. They all like Jared. There is an intercollege laser-tag game or something and Jensen recruits Jared to their group. Someone attacks Jared in the library. Jensen and his group rescue him. Jensen takes Jared back to his dorm. They have sex. Jared shifts. He turns out to be a weredog and all werecats are afraid of/hate weredogs so Jensen is a little uncomfortable. Then Jared leaves for his home. Jensen thinks Jared's left him and mopes. But, Jared comes back and tells him that he had to go back to get some tests run. Jared tells Jensen that when Jensen asked him to watch LoTR with him, he was about to commit suicide but since he stopped for Jensen. He tells him that he loves Jensen and that he would like to make it work. And then in the epilogue, I think, the boys who attacked Jared - werewolves - harass Jensen in a park when Jared is in his wereform and Jensen tells them that Jared's breed is known for hunting down wolves before he sics Jared at the boys.

Thanks in advance, guys :D
Current Music: Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys
Current Mood: busy
30 May 2014 @ 03:28 pm
I'm looking for several J2 recs

1. Jensen is being abused and Jared helps him.

2. Jensen has an eating disorder

3. Jensen commits suicide or is doing self-harm

4. Shy!Jensen fics

5. Jensen is addicted to drugs or forced to take drugs

6. High school fics

I would prefer bottom!Jensen fics but bottom!Jared fics are fine too
28 May 2014 @ 08:46 pm
hey guys! do y'all have any sam-centric fic recs along the lines of:

1. superhero/superpowers, or maybe mutants

2. dystopian/scifi/hunter and hunted(like one's a hunter and the other's being hunted) AUs

3. powers!sam

4. super-angsty fics, maybe with self-harm or suicidal thoughts

5. angsty sastiel fics

i've sort of browsed my way through most of archiveofourown and the sam/dean archive, so if you guys know any more obscure fics that'd be great!
Hi friends,
this is the third time I am searching for this particular fic. Hope I get lucky this time:) PLEASE..PLEASE..HELP ME??
It's a Dean/Sam slash that I read in Sam Dean slash archive.
This is what I remember about it.

(i)Dean gets a call from Bobby that Sam is doing badly in Stanford. Bobby probably brought Sam to his own home where he tried to kill himself a number of times.

(ii) It's from Bobby and (maybe) Sam that Dean learns about Sam's tragic past. Not only was Sam sexually abused by his professor in University, he was regularly abused by John as a child whenever Dean turned his back.Sam suffered greatly at the hands of John who was a very mean man.

(iii)Dean brings Sam with him to his motel room with an aim of curing him. But Sam by then had become an intensely suicidal, chronically depressed man who cut himself daily with blades or razors. He also had an eating disorder .

(iv) One day Dean catches him while cutting himself. He locks everything in impala's trunk.But somehow Sam gets hold of a knife and tries to cut himself again.Dean stops him and tells Sam to cut him instead as it would hurt less.

(v) Sam also tried to shoot himself with a gun. But Dean catches him on time. They have sex. There's a happy ending...

I hope there's someone who knows the story.

Thanx a million
24 May 2014 @ 08:20 pm
I was wondering if there was a fic out there where Souless Sam isn't feeling a thing, so he starts cutting.  Then Dean finds out and just angst and love and tears follow.  Does anyone know where I can find something like this?
Trying to find this fiction.
J2 was on the way back home from set when met with an accident.
Though jensen is ok. Jared was hurt and lost a leg.
Eventually both of them break up as jared unable to cope with holding jensen back with him.
They meet again when jared parent died in an accident.
During the time they breakup, jensen was in depression and drink.
Pls help.
17 April 2014 @ 01:12 pm
I went through the tags and attempted to search through google, and I still haven't been able to find this fic, so maybe you guys can help me!

I don't know the title or author of this fic, but I do remember some details about the fic itself. It was about Sam and Dean in a mental hospital, for a case I believe. The doctor saw Sam's wrist scars from when he was attacked by the ghouls and assumed him suicidal. However, it turns out Sam was suicidal at one point and Dean freaks out. That's about all I remember.
13 March 2014 @ 11:01 am
Hi guys!
So, here's the thing. I'm kinda new to this whole SPN finders community thing, and i was hoping that you guys can help me find some new fics that i can read.

1)I'd like to read fics about Sam getting kidnapped AND tortured by anyone or anything. Whether it be a ghost or some creature or even a hunter looking for revenge, etc.

2)Fics about Sam being raped by anyone (But not by John or Dean) and if the fic talks about the aftermath of the rape, that would be even better and much appreciated.

3)I recently read this AMAZING fic called "The Long Way Home" (Which you should probably read if you already haven't) and it was about Sam having HIV. So if someone knows about any other fic with Sammy having any kind of STD, then please tell me about it :D

4)And finally, I'd like to read fics about Sam (Again!) being depressed, bipolar, suffering from PTSD, having panic attacks, anything about self-harm, or ANYTHING related to mental illness (You name it).

And that's it. Thank you in advance :D

P.S: I'd really appreciate it if the fics were multi-chaptered and long. And please NO incest or WIPS.
05 February 2014 @ 05:51 pm
I am really hoping someone can help me locate this fic. I tried posting this before several months ago and no luck. I’ve added and changed a few things in this post to hopefully jog someone’s memory. I would really appreciate any assistance in locating this fic. Thank you.

Dark!Sam - self-loathing Dean (still not found) )

affliction: alcoholism, attribute: evil!sam, attribute: dark!sam, attribute: possessive!sam, attribute: jealous!sam, attribute: protective!sam, attribute: stalker,

genre: hurt/comfort, genre: au, genre: dark!fic, genre: dean chooses sam, genre: angst, genre: wincest, genre: ust; position: bottom!Dean; pairing: dean/sam, character: dean, character: sam,

warning: attempt at suicide, warning: non-con, warning: abused!dean (sexual), warning: abused!dean (physical), warning: abused!dean (mental), warning: abused!dean (emotional), attribute: sam's point of view
04 February 2014 @ 08:53 pm

I search for a Human!AU with Dean/Castiel. Dean had a car accident in which John died and Dean got hurt. Now he sits in wheelchair, has problems with his hands (?) and lives in a care home after he tried to kill himself. Another resident of this home is Jo. Sam is together with Jess and they live in Stanford.

Castiel starts to work as a volunteer and he can Dean persuade to participate in various activities. Also he talks with him about his depression and self harm.

I read the story on Ao3, it was complete and really, really long.

Does someone know the story? Thanks in advance!

- Lilly
29 January 2014 @ 09:46 am

I´m searching for a story I started to read a while ago and forgot to book mark it. I belive it was a J2 but could althoug be AU Sam/Dean. If I remeber it right Jared and Jensen (?) were in a relationship. But Jared partner didn´t care (abused him) about him and he started to harm himself, because he got depressiv. I don´t remeber if he was in a relationship with Jensen or if he met Jensen. The story promised a happy ending. Does that sound familar to someone? Thank you for you help.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: office
05 October 2013 @ 10:32 am
Hey guys! So a while back I read a fic on AO3, I think, and it had to do with 'gender-confusion' in a way. Dean and Sam weren't related, but Dean still lost his mom at a young age. He lived with John repairing spaceships(?) and his entire life he believed he was an omega. He has depression, and attempts suicide, I think, and they send him to a hospital which tells him that he's an alpha. I think his roommate is Cas, and he has an obsession with a plant (?).
He meets Sam, who is there because everyone thought he was an alpha because of his height, but turns out to be a beta.

Thanks for any help!
22 September 2013 @ 02:24 pm
Looking for 4 kinds of fics

1. Dean with PTSD after getting back from hell. I feel like they didn't go into his post hell trauma as much as they could have.
2. Dean being suicidal/ secretly not wanting to be alive.
3. Dean feeling worthless and the fic going into his low self esteem
4. A curse or something where others can see how broken Dean truly is.
5. Dean has schizophrenia
So yeah, basically anything along the lines of the above! As for pairing, Destiel is nice, but not required. Absolutely no wincest please!