Hi all you wonderful fic reccers! This one is a bit hard to describe, but I'm aching for them so hopefully you'll get what I mean. I'm looking for any and all fics where one of the boys pushes the other until he breaks. Like there's that one moment where all the crap that the other has put them through comes to a head and you can actually feel them break. Where B1 just completely decimates B2, rips their heart out and stomps on it. Egs to show what I mean, hopefully you'll know them and get what I mean:

Waves, where Dean has a bunch of internalised homophobia and denies Cas continuously and the moment where Cas kisses Dean in front of his friends and Dean screams at him that he's a fa**ot.

And This Is Enough where Dean is cheating on his wife with Cas and they finally make love and that moment where Dean has to leave straight away and Cas' heart is smashed to pieces.

Getting Lucky, where Jared wants Jensen to experience sex with someone who cares and the moment when Jensen tells Jared to just shut up and f*ck him already.

Failure To Communicate, where Jensen has been doing a bunch of nasty stuff to force a divorce out of Jared and that moment where the last thing he does pushed Jared over the edge and he signs the papers.

I hope that kind of gets it across. The fics where you almost feel your heart breaks with them at the straw that broke the camel's back. All pairings are great, I'm good with non-con and dubcon, and even domestic violence from one boy to another, but happy endings only please! :-)

Thank you, I love each and every one of you (have I sucked up enough yet? Wait, I'll leave some kisses) xxx

Hi everyone,
I love this fandom, and every last one of it fans! I need help finding a fic. that I read a long time ago, and can't seem to find.

Jensen has been abused in one way or another during his time on every TV show he's been on (emotionally, physically, sexually). He has severe PTSD, and uses drugs, and other self-harming tactics to cope, and to deal with his past abuse.

When he joins the SPN cast and meets Jared feelings develop between the J's, but Jensen is severely damaged but wants to be a stronger, and better person for Jared and eventually tells Jared about all the abuse. I remember Jared feeling overwhelmed, and torn between being happy that Jensen finally starts to tell him his painful past, and physically ill from Jensen's sometimes awkward, and sudden outburst of all the ugly things he went through.

I also remember that Jensen actually believed he wasn't worthy of love, friendship, or even being in Jared's company, and that he was very vulnerable and the story made me cry.

Oh, and Jared has a fight outside of a movie rental place with an old abuser of Jensen's, because the CW star starts calling Jensen a whore, and slut. I think the old abuser actually was with another CW star that he was currently dating, and Jared felt sorry for the new boyfriend and eventually helped that actor out of his abusive relationship with the unknown abuser. If I remember correctly Jensen and the other abused CW star both end up living with Jared. Also, Jared gets physically, and emotional ill himself from neglecting his own needs and putting Jensen's first all the time.

I hope someone remembers this story because I can't find it:-D

1. Multi-chapters are strongly preferred
2. I love AUs (though not necessary)
3. I love the brotherly relationship
4. My favorite era is pre-series to pre-season 3 but again, this is a very broad search so I won't say no to anything that is post-season 2.
5. And if John is featured in it heavily, I prefer that he be portrayed as either neglectful or an a-hole (not that I don't love John or anything, it's only that I prefer a focus on the brothers' co-dependency without having a third party to rely on.)
6. Hurt!Dean, hurt!Sam, doesn't matter- it's all good :)
7. And last, please no slash :)