I was reading this multi/chapter fic on A03 and it was updated some time in the last year, but now I can't find it on my list of subscriptions, so I'm afraid the author may have deleted it. But maybe I'm just not looking hard enough.

Dean is a cop. Charlie is his partner, and Gilda is her girlfriend. Sam has had himself committed to a mental hospital and won't let Dean see him, trying to protect him. He has a caseworker, Gabriel I think. Cas is some kind of monster hunter. He and Dean cross paths when Dean and Charlie attempt to stop a demon or some other creature. Kevin works with Cas in some capacity. Cas figures out that Sam is in great danger and ends up in his hospital room.

I think it was called This Thing We Do, and it may have been s reworking of some comic or graphic novel I'm not familiar with. Any help finding it would be appreciated!
19 June 2017 @ 12:22 pm
Found: No One Would Riot for Less

Looking for one particular fic: I recall Dean was hidden in a pocket universe or heaven. Cas and Dean were married. Godstiel was keeping him locked away until Dean worships him. Bobby and Sam barrel into the universe-or-heaven trying to get Dean to come back to reality and help them stop the Godstiel.

Looking for Fic recs for Godstiel/Dean.

any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

tags: genera:hurt/comfort, godstiel, destiel, pairing:cas/dean, looking for a particular fic, fic recs
affliction: fallen!castiel, affliction: hurt!dean, genre: domestic fic, character: castiel, character: dean, affliction: kidnapped!dean, attribute: adorable!castiel, genre: slash, genre: tearjerker, creature: angel, point of view: dean winchester, pairing: dean/castiel,
21 March 2017 @ 07:23 pm
Hey guys! So I have a couple of requests today and they are as follows:

1) So lately I've been thinking a lottttt about top!Dean/Jensen and I'm realizing that I haven't read a lot of fic with him as a top? Which is crazy? And so I was wondering if you guys can help me out a little bit. I'm looking specifically for stories in which Dean or Jensen tops, they can be either super gentle and crooning sweet nothings or they can be a little possessive, growly and rough with lots of focus on pleasing Sam/Jared, whichever you prefer. It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual either! I just need Dean being the big and bossy cutie that he is.

2) Any wincest/j2 fic from Dean/Jensens POV, I've read so many from Sam/Jareds and I love them with my whole heart but I'm ready for a story through a different set of eyes.

3) And finally, I'm looking for your favorite wincest/j2 fics as a whole. I feel like I've read literally every fic under the sun (crazy but true) and I've exhausted all of my resources at this point. SO, that being said, rec me your favorites!

Note: My only no go's are extreme underage, rape/non-con/dubious consent and I can't do knives/blood/extreme pain. Otherwise, the floor is all yours! Help me out I'm desperate lol

BTW! Self recs are so totally welcome, gimme all of them.
Current Music: Jace Everett - Bad Things
Current Mood: happy
31 January 2017 @ 10:40 am
I'm in the mood for some Wincest Dean POV fics. Seems most out there are Sam POV with Sam silently pining away.

If not Dean POV then a clearly pining Dean where Sam isn't making a move. The longer the better and angst and pining slow builds would be awesome.

Some I've already read:
All stories by candle_beck
Summer Blackout by nutkin (and everything else by them)
Two Queens by belyste (more humor but at least Dean POV)
And indeed there will be time by Greta
And the Devil Makes Three by Killa (and sequel)
Milestones by intrepidheart

Pining!Dean but from oblivious!Sam POV:
Crush by BewareTheIdes15

If you know of others to rec or know of complied lists that include Dean POV/pining Dean as a tag, let me know. I have looked through the tags here but did not find much...
I remember reading this fic ages ago that I now of course can't find. I am almost positive it is on AO3, as that's where I predominantly read fics, but I could be wrong.

Basically, during Plucky Pennywhistle's, Dean realizes that Sam was sexually abused by one of the guys who worked there, hence his clown phobia. I'm a little hazy on details, but what I do vividly remember is that Dean tracks the guy down and kills him in the basement of an abandoned house, which he then burns down to hide the evidence. I also remember that he's pretending to be a police officer or FBI agent at the time.

I'm also thinking the fic was a Wincest one, but don't quote me on that. It might have just been gen. I do know that it was a oneshot.

If anyone can help me out, I'd be forever grateful! This one is driving me crazy.

(Also, Mods, I hope I got the tags right. Since I can't remember if it's Wincest or not, I didn't use the pairing tag - hope that was okay! I also couldn't find an episode tag for this one, so maybe one can be created? I saw some other searches for fics based off the episode, but not this specific fic.)
15 September 2016 @ 06:19 pm
Greetings and salutations! I'm looking for any and all stories about Dean getting re-souled and still with the Mark of Cain and going after Cole for beating up on Sam. There was one story in particular that I cannot remember all the specifics of but in it a fellow hunter was congratulating Dean on letting go of his super protective streak when it came to Sam, that now all the other hunters knew Dean wasn't going to hurt them for hurting Sam. And Dean is like, really? Well, let's fix that shall we. And I think he went after Cole as a result. That's all I can remember. Gen or wincest, but no dean/castiel please. Any help and all stories will be greatly appreciated! Mods, i would have put a Cole tag, but there doesn't appear to be one. Sorry if I missed it.
Hi everyone, I'm looking for a fic whose title I cannot remember that, if I recall correctly, took place some time after the events of S05E03 "Free to Be You and Me," when Dean told Sam to "pick a hemisphere" after they had learned they were Michael and Lucifer's vessels. I guess it would be considered canon-divergent since Sam and Dean end up not reconciling or getting back together for a year or two, when they accidentally end up on the same hunt-- I think they might have been hunting a vengeful spirit in a barn or something? But the hunt was only a brief part of the story.

Anyway, during the hunt, Sam saves Dean from getting killed, I think, but Dean is still badly hurt, so Sam drives him back to the motel where they both happened to be staying and patches him up. On the way, Dean starts getting curious when he notices Sam's limp, which only becomes stronger when Sam goes out of his way to avoid talking about it, so Dean ended up sneaking into Sam's motel room the next day and saw Sam's prosthetic leg laying on the bed right before Sam came out of the shower. Dean was so shocked he threw up, and Sam ended up explaining that he had been hurt on a hunt (I think?) and had to have his right leg amputated, but didn't call Dean because he didn't think Dean wanted anything to do with him. Dean suggests that they start hunting together as brothers again, but Sam is conflicted because Lucifer has been making his phantom pains worse or something in an effort to force Sam to say "yes" to him, and he's afraid he'll eventually give in to relief the agony, I think?

I'm pretty sure that was more or less it as far as the story goes-- I am almost positive it was a one-shot, and that it was written in third person but in Dean's point of view. If I recall correctly, I read it in a Supernatural community here on LJ, but I'm having no luck whatsoever in tracking it down in any of the comms I belong to, and I didn't see it in the relevant tags here, either, so I don't know if its just been deleted or moved to a different site or what. If anyone can help me out in finding it, I would be so grateful! This is my first post here, so I'm hoping I did everything correctly.

ETA: thanks to the lovely [livejournal.com profile] lennelle the fic has been found! it is "Sufferance" by [livejournal.com profile] utsusemia
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: from dusk till dawn: the series
Alright, so it has been years since I have posted to spnstoryfinders. I've kept up with the show but tend to only focus on one to two fandoms fic-wise at a time. Writing in the Queer as Folk fandom pulled me away from my other ones for a while but now I am back and ready to read some great stories in this fandom that I may have missed in the past few years. Not a huge fan of Wincest, Sabriel, Samifer (unless it is dubcon or noncon) or complete AU (but am completely fine with canon divergance.) So, if possible, I would rather not have those pairings in the non-AU stories you share.

1. Dean/OMC: Are there any fics where Dean runs into a guy he had a fling with years before? Maybe it was a secret relationship he had in high school or while Sam was away at Stanford. Dean and the OMC could pick things up again or maybe they just catch up and Dean is happy that the OMC has a decent life. It would be great if Sam found out about it but it's not absolutely necessary. Destiel, Dean/OMC, or gen are all okay for this. It can take place any season, but it would be awesome if it took place in season 10, 11, or even after. For some reason I am really craving to read this but if none of you lovely people can find it, I'll just write it instead ;)

2. Dean/Castiel: If you all could rec your favorite Dean/Castiel fics written from 2012 to 2016, that would be awesome! I do love angst, but I also love humor and crack just as much. Of course, I will also take recs to earlier Destiel stories.

3. Awesome!Sam: I would love to read stories about Sam not only supporting Dean (either coming out as bi or his relationship with Cas or an OMC) but also have a storyline of his own, whether it be dramatic, romantic, or otherwise. In other words, I want him to be rooting for his brother's happiness but I want the story to also take Sam's own life into account and for it to cover what he's going through, making him a major and complex character throughout the story.

4. Wedding!Fic: As long as it is not Wincest or Daddycest, this can be any pairing. I am looking for humorous, non-AU wedding fics. Destiel would be lovely but Dean/Lisa, Dean/OMC, Dean/OFC, Dean/Benny, Sam/Jess, Sam/Amelia, Sam/OFC, Sam/OMC, Charlie/Dorothy, Charlie/OFC, John/Mary, and Bobby/Ellen would all be great options as well.

5. Depression: Can you all rec stories where Sam, Dean, or Cas are going through severe depression and stay relatively in character throughout it all? Of course, depression can completely distort your normal reactions to day to day life, but I would like them to be recognizable while the other characters grow more and more concerned over something being very wrong.

6. Long shot but...: Are there any stories where Dean is worried how his close friends and family will react to him being bisexual and they literally do not even care because the apocolypse is going on or the mark of Cain made him butcher people and they still love him despite that and that's a lot more concerning than him messing around with dudes. In other words, there are bigger concerns than who Dean sleeps with and now is not the time to fret over something rather trivial in comparison to people dropping like flies.

7. Sam finds out Dean was enrolled or is currently enrolled in college classes: Maybe Dean took them while he was with Lisa or maybe he's taking them online. Sam could find a document containing Dean's research paper, essay, creative writing project, whatever. Or maybe he answers Dean's cellphone and it is Dean's advisor checking in on how he's doing and if he would consider enrolling for the new semester since the advisor sees a lot of potential in him. Either way, I just would like to see Sam finding out and being proud of him, all while asking questions while Dean feels a little embarrassed about taking classes in his mid to late 30s.

8. Queer as Folk crossover: Since I have written over 20 stories in the Queer as Folk fandom and love the characters ridiculously so, can you all come up with some stories where the boys cross paths with the Liberty Avenue gang? Maybe they are on a case in Pittsburgh and it is directly affecting the characters in QAF? Maybe Brian tries to seduce Dean (and succeeds because I am sure the straightest of men would let themselves be fucked by Brian Kinney) or Emmett takes Cas shopping for more fabulous clothes or Sam gets into passionate discussions with Mel, who is a lawyer. In other words, I would like to see these characters meet and actually get along.
Guys, I've a hankering to read stories where Dean is neglected/abandoned/unappreciated by John and/or Sam, however, an outsider/OMC recognizes how amazing/self sacrificing/talented Dean really is.

Dean can have low self esteem, or just be depressed/disappointed that his family seem to find him disposable, or can't be bothered to return his calls/help him when he is injured or in trouble.

I want the outsider/OMC to make him see what a wonderful person he is and to make him feel valued and loved.

I'll take any genre, Gen, slash, anything, I don't mind.

I know it's pretty vague, but I'm hoping you guys can help me out, I just want Dean to be recognized for the treasure that he really is.
28 January 2016 @ 10:37 am
i'm looking for 1 specific fic and would love your help with 2 more general searches.

1 It was a human!cas/dean, probably on ao3, Dean was hunting alone and had been wounded, human!cas found him and brought him home. I think Cas was a librarian, his family rejected him because of his homosexuality. In the end he decided to follow Dean and to become a hunter. i think Sam and John met Cas at some point but I'm not sure.
edit: found http://archiveofourown.org/works/328763/chapters/530439

2 Deancentric fics where Sam didn't help Dean to find their father ans stayed with Jess.

3 a/b/o fics where Dean hide that he is an omega from Sam and/or his father.

Thank you.
27 December 2015 @ 11:38 pm
Hey! I'm looking for a specific fic, relatively short, wherein Dean and Cas are abducted together by the baddies--who I think are demons? Anyway, Dean wakes up and finds himself chained up, with Cas trapped nearby and unable to use his powers. Their captors come in and beat Dean up, give him some kind of truth drug, and interrogate him. In order to avoid giving them the information they want, Dean gives in to the urge to tell the truth by confessing his love for Cas. They get angry and beat him up some more, he tells the truth of his love for Cas some more, and Cas goes a little crazy watching this all happen. It's all told from Dean's POV, including a rescue which he doesn't remember much of, Sam driving them to the hospital (with Dean laid down on Cas' lap in the back seat), and Dean being handed over to the doctors whom he doesn't realize are trying to help (he fights them, thinking they're trying to take him away from Sam and Cas). It's awesome, and I can't find it anywhere!
08 December 2015 @ 10:05 pm
Hey, everyone. I'm looking for a specific fic set sometime after 5x19 where Gabriel's shade approaches Dean with a proposition: he wants Dean to take his place as a trickster god.

(More spoilers:)
Read more... )
21 November 2015 @ 10:20 pm
I'm looking for two fics.

Edit: It's below in the comments.
The first one I read awhile ago, but I can't find it now. In the fic the Winchester tradition of making deals with demons is continued with preseries Sam. John, Dean, and Sam were staying somewhere really cold in winter and Dean had an accident ( maybe he fell on freezing water? Can't remember.) and was hospitalized. Doctors said that Dean was going to die. A demon offered Sam that he/she would save Dean if Sam just did a little thing for it.Sam was desperate and made the deal. The demon saved Dean and made the Winchesters forget the whole thing. Now in season four, Ruby reveals to Sam, while taking him to free Lucifer, that if Sam doesn't say yes to the Devil, Dean will die. (and maybe go back to hell? Not sure.) I think it was gen.
The fic was in archiveofourown.

Second request.
I found a rec from http://ao3feed-j2.tumblr.com/post/85933549480/the-eye-of-the-beholder, but the fic was deleted. It's name was The Eye of the Beholder by nanoks. I haven't been able to read so if anyone knows somewhere it might be, please tell me.

Synopsis: an SPN RPF re-telling of the classic Twilight Zone episode, “The eye of the beholder.” Jensen Ackles, a young man, lays in a hospital bed, his face wrapped in bandages, awaiting the outcome of a surgical procedure performed by the State in a last-ditch attempt to make him look “normal”. Will it be a success or a failure? Will he be able to stay in the city, or will he be exiled to the ‘village’ to live with Jared Padalecki, a man who is, by the beauty of the world’s standers, hideous and ugly?

Words: 9110, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Misha Collins
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Future Fic, Mutant Society, Discrimination, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Sexual Content, True Love

Thank you!
30 August 2015 @ 10:09 am
I have two general requests which are fairly similar to each other.

First, I would like pre-series fics where Dean is hurt by someone (someone preferable to something) and John hunts down the someone and causes them great pain and suffering. I prefer the story be from Dean's pov as opposed to John's, but I'll take whatever you have.

Second, along those same lines but instead of John "avenging" Dean, it's Sam. This one doesn't have to be pre-series.

I'll also take fics where no avenging happens but Sam takes care of Dean after the someone hurts him.

The angstier the better :)

Thanks so much, guys!
21 July 2015 @ 07:26 pm
Hi, I am looking for an old fic that I believe was on fanfiction.net. Sam was at Stanford and something happened causing him to be trapped in some sort of well like location, injured with no food and no hope. Meanwhile Dean is on some sort of ritual hunt that John had gone on. He ends up locating the creature he needs to and receives some sort of special ability due to his actions. Somehow he figures out that Sam is in trouble and he saves him. That is all that I can remember about this fic so please help.
Current Mood: hopeful
I'm looking for any fics where Dean has to give up something for himself in order to keep Sam healthy and happy. Anywhere from giving him his money, food, etc.

Angst is good here but if it's really sad (or has a sad ending) please warn me! But hunger pains, dizziness... Dean hurting for Sam basically.

I'd especially love (bonus) for someone (especially an older Sam) to reflect upon or realize how much Dean gave up for Sam. (And that Dean would do it again in a heartbeat.)


If you don't have any fics like this, maybe you might know of some where Sam or Dean are just pushed to their limits and are exhausted (maybe by John's training) and their demanding lifestyle?
14 June 2015 @ 11:33 am

So, there's two that I'm searching for currently. In the first, it's wee!chesters/young!winchesters. There's a hunt that John goes on with Dean and it goes bad. He gets hurt and is afraid to go back to the house but he knows John will make him. He runs away to visit Caleb at college and winds up crashing in his dorm for a few days until Caleb finds out that Dean ran away without telling anyone other than Sam. Caleb has a roommate - Bull? maybe? - and he and Dean get along really well by the end of the fic.

The other is young!Dean because he manages to get deaged from his 26 years of age to 13. He sneaks off to find Sam at one point in the story because of everyone's bad reaction to him being young again and winds up getting possessed by a demon. There's a sequel where Caleb takes him to visit Sam and Sam doesn't initially believe that it's actually Dean.

1) Stanford-era fics where Sam notices that Dean didn't take very good care of himself while they were apart. (Not eating properly, not getting enough sleep, running himself ragged on hunts, not treating injuries well enough/"toughing it out", scars from crude patch jobs where he couldn't reach well enough to do the stitches etc.)

2) My second is for the boys running out of food or money, Dean having to work multiple part time jobs and considering dropping out of school to keep them out of trouble (While John is on a hunt - maybe he didn't leave enough or was gone longer than they expected)
Especially if Sam is unaware of what Dean's going though.

I'd also like to exclude any fics featuring the boys and prostitution because non-con and dub-con kinda squick me out. :P Wincest is great though!
02 March 2015 @ 04:08 pm
It was a fic I read awhile ago but somehow lost it.

Sam is frustrated about Dean and Castiel's 'soulful stares' so he decides to do something about it to get them together. (Maybe Gabriel helped? Not sure on that one. I do know that Sam did most of the meddling.) Sam begins to hit on Cas and Dean notices and realizes that he (ie Dean) loves Cas. But, being the self-sacrificing idiot that he is, Dean decides to let Sam and Cas 'be happy together'. Sam sees that his attempts have failed and approach Dean at a diner and say something like, 'Hey, Dean, I realized I'm in love with Cas' and Dean was all "Good luck, I'm happy for you", all the while crying and being jealous inside. Sam then becomes angry and frustrated and says that he lied, that he's not in love with Cas but that Dean is and that Dean should ask Cas out. (Sam's like, "I'm tired of this shit. Do something about it.")

I think it was mostly from Sam or Dean's POV, but not too certain on that one. I really don't remember any more, but I remember it was REALLY good and that I loved it.

Does anybody recognize the fic?
21 February 2015 @ 12:18 am
I have a tremendous amount of love for Sam, but right now let’s have a Deanfest. What are your most highly recommended Dean-centric, Dean point of view, or Dean worship fics? The stories where everything is about Dean, or you’re right inside Dean’s head—you hear his thoughts and feel his feelings--or if Sam or others narrate they’re obsessed with Dean and constantly admire him and think about him. I would love your favorites—the stories you couldn’t put down that you keep thinking about that you return to again and again and that changed you in some way—made you think or feel differently about the Supernatural universe and its characters (especially Dean)  ;)

Any pairing or situation or time period (just alert for any sex involving John or death fics—not crazy about these).  Wincest, Destiel, Gen and any rating, although I prefer the adult stuff, and I love the long stories but include the short stuff if it’s your favorite and it’s all about Dean. Old classics and new fics welcomed. 
24 January 2015 @ 05:17 pm
I read a fic about two years ago I really liked but didn't bookmark and have now forgotten the name and author of, so hoping to get help finding it again. I believe it was of FF.net but I could be wrong. Here is what I remember (which isn't much)....

It started when Dean and Sam are little and the story progresses to them being adults. I think it was Dean's point of view or Dean centric. The start has Dean handing down the gun John taught him to shoot with to Sam and teaching him and being proud when Sam does well, as they grow Dean protects Sam and gives in to the thing he wants which cumulate in wincest. There may have been a driving lesson in there too in which Dean rewards Sam with Kisses. It ends when Sam leaves for college I was sure. It wasn't a long story a few chapters and it was complete.

Any help would be great, and I know I am asking for a long shot. Also any recs to similar stories would be cool too. Thanks so much for all the help.

Hope I got the tag right, so sorry if I didn't.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: hungry
10 November 2014 @ 12:15 am
Hey guys! I love this site and how you're so eager to help.

Anyway, I'm about to go crazy since my laptop with all my favorites, broke down and now I can't find one fic I started reading, I've looked through the tags in here a long time before finally admitting to myself that no, nobody searched this before me. Preatty Please, could y'all help a guy out?

Anyway, so here I go, trying to explain it;

1. It's Dean's POV and he has some big issues with Sam and we get to see Sam, like in the bathtub, saying stuff like: "Dad will find out." and "He'll know." Later on, at the end of the story, it's understood that Dean did molest Sam and John knew it, or found out somehow after Sam left for Stanford, saying to Dean he failed Sammy.

Does that ring any bells? Please, I'm going crazy over here!

And for the General search, I really want slow build-up wincest stories and actual kissing, a lot, before the first time between our boys.

Can anyone help me out finding the first one? I'll give you my soul for it! Thanks beforehand! Ps. Only bottom!Sam, please. But if they switch, it can be Dean bottoming too, but mostly Sam. ;)
09 August 2014 @ 11:28 pm
Look for a Specific Wincest. Where Dean as feel's for Sam and Sam as no idea.

Anyway what I can remember Dean and Sam are in Impala looking for a hotel etc. Cause Dean's feeling guilty for having feelings for Sam, he's been trying to hide it by picking fights with Sam.

* They find a hotel and Dean makes Sam get his own room, Sam who of course doesn't know why Dean's mad at him.

* Dean's in his own room and breaks the TV and head's out of the hotel room and see's Sam as left Deans bag outside his room for him. This makes Dean feel bad and he whats to make it up to Sam and try not to take his angry out on him.

* Dean go's to Sam's room and panic's when Sam isn't there. Sam shows up.

* They share Sam's room, then there's a fight, Dean kiss's Sam, Sam leaves Dean freaks out.

* Sam comes back after he and Dean talk on the phone.

The summary was something like - They had been fighting none stop.

I read it on Fanfiction.net
      I humbly beg help locating a fan faction which i somehow misplaced on my computer!  I do not know the title or the author.  I can describe the plot as much as I can remember, however.  After Sam left for Stanford, and John, of course, abandoned Dean, waving all the red flags of a lifetime of unforgivable neglect and emotional abuse against his firstborn.  Dean decides to continue hunting under the tutelage of his some-time stepfather, and full-time research assistant Bobby Singer.
      When Dean winds up tracking through the countryside, in pursuit of some creature or other, he quickly deduces that he has shifted into another dimension, with no clue as how to return home.  After retracing his steps, and no visible yellow brick road signs, Dean is left with the survival training his father beat into him at a young age.  Reduced to distant recons and nightly raids for clothing and food scraps, Dean realized everybody here possesses rather large wing-like appendages.  Furthermore, Dean's brief recons have uncovered a very dark picture of a "culture" comprised of a two-caste system.  The winged people are the "upper class" warriors, while those without those appendages are at the lowest of lower class (a.k.a. slaves), doing all manual labor in the fields, and serving in houses, and maintenance in towns. These lower castes appear to have had their wings brutally hacked-off by warrior sadists during some sort of ceremony to empress upon them their new lot in life.
    Nauseating recon totally over, Dean hauls ass away from these mutilating sickos.  While trying to quietly steal some provisions from a isolated manor far, far, away from that disturbing village, Dean is overpowered by a black-winged and totally hot homeowner called Castiel.  After the "What the F*** are you? questions and manhandling inspections, the reality of the shit storm hits.  Castiel seems to be a rather intrigued, enlightened, and chill angel, who would never tattle on Dean's alien differences.
     Since Castiel is something of a eccentric hermit to his own kind, he decides to hide Dean in his upstairs apartment, providing him with food, clothing, and a bed until everything can be sorted out.  With no one else to interact with, Dean and Castiel become closer, sharing stories of their lives and adventures from their different realities.  Dean expresses his horrific shock when he learns that the "slaves" are in fact warriors who were bested three times in combat and mutilated to prove they are worthless to Michael's armies.  After many talkings-to Castiel about the needless cruelty and sadism of such practices, Castiel agrees with Dean that these practices are atrocities.
    After much planning Dean convinces Castiel to travel back to his reality, where life is far from perfect, but still better than this bullsh*t! Even so, neither man knows the direct route back to the field Dean crossed over through, so they enlist Castiel's brother Gabriel to gather intel on areas strange animals are spotted roaming.  When they have the nearest coordinates, Michael decides he wants to challenge Castiel to blood combat to prove who's the better warrior.  Dean, of course, is of the school of "screw this noise" but Castiel cannot back down without loosing face.  Castiel looses to Michael two times and almost lost a wing on the third before Dean's message sunk through his thick angel head.  He hauls ass after Dean to his reality and leaves all that pointless deadly pea cocking reality behind.  Time to start a new life where being a warrior means actually battling evil and protecting those who cannot defend themselves. Castiel can find true self-respect with a smoking hot righteous man!
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] zoetron56 at In search of a Dean/Cas fic where Dean is trapped in an alternate universe with barbaric angels.
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] zoetron56 at In search of a Dean/Cas fanfic where Dean is trapped in an alternate universe with barbaric angels.
I humbly beg help in locating a fanfiction which I somehow misplaced on my computer!  I do not know the title or the author.  I can describe the plot as much as I can remember however.  After Sam left for Stanford, and John, of course, abandoned Dean, showing all the red flags of a lifetime of unforgivable neglect and emotional abuse against his firstborn.  Dean decides to continue hunting by himself with only Bobby as occasional step-father and research assistant.
    When he winds up tracking through the country in pursuit of some monsters or creature, he finds himself in another dimension, with no way of finding his way out.  After much retracing his steps, he gives up the quest for the magical doorway and starts thinking about day-to-day survival on this alien landscape. He then reverts to his training and tries to blend in with the alien society that he has absolutely no place existing within. Reduced to recons and snatch and grabs for food and concealing clothing, he can't help noticing everyone here possess rather large sets of angelic wings.  Dean also notices a rudimentary two-caste system to the angel's culture (if it could be called one).  The winged angels are the warrior upper-class, while the servants, field hands (a.k.a. slaves), and any other "undesirables" no longer possess those winged appendages.  These "lower castes" are treated beyond the bounds of cruelty, and Dean could only too well guess the sadism required to repeatedly hack a persons feathered limbs off to desecrate and humiliate  them to these pitiful creatures.
    Nauseating recon over, Dean took the only sane course of action, and ran far, far away from these sickos. While trying to steal some food from a isolated farmhouse, Dean is overpowered by a gorgeous black-winged angel called Castiel.  After the mutual, "What the F**" are you?" by both parties, the shit storm became readily apparent, that if anyone other than the two of them ever found out about Dean's differences.
Castiel decided to stash Dean in his upstairs apartments, in an attempt to hide him from everyone else.  Castiel brought him food and companionship.  They learned each others words, and described each of their respective realities.  Dean repeatedly expressed horror over the fact that if a warrior angle lost sparring combat three times, his wings would be hacked off and would only be useful in working in the fields.  After many talkings-to by Dean to Cas over the complete insanity of such atrocities, Dean finally convinces Castiel to come home to his reality, where far from perfect, but would offer him the opportunity to truly be a righteous warrior fighting real evil and not following demented brothers butchering those they don't consider worthy.
I cannot remember the title or author to this story and it's constantly on my mind.  Dean is dared by his clique of not-so-bright school friends to stay one night in the scary mansion, supposedly haunted by evil warlocks who still defend their territory, overlooking their village.  When Dean, armed only by a small video recording device, settles into the furnished, but eerily empty mansion, he can't help feeling he isn't entirely alone.  He soon starts to investigate the wings of the mansion and discovers another "person" called Castiel.  Through awkward starts and stops, the two boys become strange friends.  Their enforced isolation soon gets them to tell bits and pieces of their lives, both happy and heartbreaking.  When the sun rises, Dean leaves the mansion with promises to return and bring books, food, and news of what is going on outside of Castiel's supernatural imprisonment in order to relieve some of Castiel's loneliness.  By this time, Dean knows Castiel is some sort of witch or cursed creature, and vows never to betray Castiel's secrets or their tentative trust in each other.  This is the part of this fanfic where I lost it on my computer!  I would be greatly appreciative if someone in this community could provide me with the author or title of this story!
14 June 2014 @ 08:02 pm
Sorry for bad grammar on this, I was barely remembering the fic and wanted to make sure I got down all the sparse details. Aaand, too lazy to fix it :p
dean-- at least i think it was dean pov, pretty sure-- wakes up from something (something canonic, i think) and finds that Chuck and Becky are, like, the organizers of the entirety of the 'down to the apocalypse' club and they're all training in the field behind bobby's, i think? there's angels and friendly monsters, oh and ellen and jo are there? and i'm pretty sure jess was brought back to life somehow and it was a bit awkward? and the final battle against lucifer takes place, i'm pretty sure in vegas? and some angels are flying around the perimeter really fast to keep all the fighting and people inside, and there are demons chasing them, and there's something about the patterns they're flying that's important, and also someone is riding a motorcycle on the same patterns? and there are dragons, i think, or at least something really big like that. and the final battle of the final battle has to do with this pyramid at the center of town and when lucifer gets trapped inside it crystalizes?
1. I am looking for wincest fics, set in pre-Stanford era (funny how we call that an 'era', huh?) in which Dean tries to come to terms with his attraction for his teenage brother. I prefer something from Dean's POV in which he finds Sam insanely attractive and is falling in love with him. But, he also feels that he is sick and tries to stop feeling that way about his little brother. It doesn't matter if Sam returns Dean's feelings or not (though I would love it if he did. We all like happy endings, after all) I just want to see Dean struggling with his feelings.

2. Any gen or wincest fics in which Sam gets sick or hurt, Dean is partially or fully responsible for that and Dean feels guilty.
I read so many fics that fit the description but back then, I didn't bookmark these fics. Some of the scenarios that I remember are: Dean feeds Sam spoiled chicken and Sam gets sick (though Dean didn't intend for that to happen, he was just angry). Then, one fic in which Sam complains of being sick just before they have to go on a hunt and John thinks Sam is faking it. But, he does leave Dean with Sam and Dean isn't too happy about being left out of a hunt. Later, Sam gets so sick that he is hospitalized and Dean feels guilty. Another fic, which is set in S7, has an alcoholic Dean accidentally shooting Sam when on a hunt and once again, Dean feels guilty (surprise, surprise).
So, rec me any fics that are similar to the scenarios I mentioned. You don't have to find these specific fics for me but, I'm sure they will turn up somewhere in your recs. I'm just looking for fics of the hurt/comfort nature with sick/hurt!Sammy and guilty/protective!Dean.

I do prefer bottom!Sam if there are NC-17 scenes involved. But, right now I am looking for the story and character emotions rather than the smut so, I'll take bottom!Dean too. Just drop me a little warning.

Thanks in advance.

Mods: I've have a problem in which all the tags I choose for my post disappear after you've approved the post. I brought this to your notice and kruel_angel told me that it's because I'm using a plus account. I was asked to leave a note at the bottom of my post. So here goes...
Current Mood: accomplished
01 March 2014 @ 08:44 pm
I'm looking for two amnesia fics that I read on fanfiction.net.

1. Dean has amnesia after he was pulled out of Hell. He goes to a diner and is having breakfast when Sam recognises him. Sam thinks Dean is a shapeshifter or something and Dean thinks Sam is a crazy guy. Sam takes Dean to Bobby's. Dean thinks it's a trick and that Sam is trying to kidnap him or something. It is all told from Dean's POV.

2. Sam is believed dead. Dean mourns for several months and stays at Bobby's. He's supported by Bobby, Ellen and Jo. But Sam is actually alive, he is homeless, lost his memory and has a stray dog as a pet. Dean finds him somehow and brings him back home. They are going to start hunting again but Sam wants to bring his dog and Dean doesn't want him to. They have an argument and Dean is jealous that Sam seems to care more about the dog than him. The fic was written before the Season 2 finale.

1. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4822628/1/The-Obeisance-of-Memory
2. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4419801/1/Gone
28 January 2014 @ 08:01 pm
Hey all,
I've been trying for a while now to find a specific fiction that I had started reading a while ago (I think it wasn't complete and I decided to wait to finish it until it was), but seem to have misplaced it somewhere or maybe it no longer exists.

The story is centered around dean after he has somehow been turned into a vampire - it's sams fault somehow, not entirely sure how though - and he tries to not feed for a while before he eventually becomes desperate for blood. Castiel finds dean in this condition and feeds him his own blood and explains that it fills him better and for longer periods of time than a humans would. That's about all I can remember of the story from the top of my head. I do believe that it is a lengthy series, not a one-shot or short story or something and that it was hosted here on livejournal. I also think that it eventually became a castiel/dean pairing fiction, but again I'm not certain of this. If you know what fiction I'm on about please let me know as I've been looking for it for a while now. [ Found: http://angel-kink.livejournal.com/13234.html ]

Thanks in advance,

P.S. I'm also interested in any fictions were dean is the central character and he is showing how intelligent he is. I've been looking here on spnstoryfinders for such fictions for a while, but nobody ever really seems to request fictions in which dean is the main character and the pov that is written from while still showing how intelligent he is. I'm interested in such stories as long as they are either gen or slash and stay within the supernatural realm of some sort. I'm not really particular as to what slash pairing as long as it's dean with another guy and doesn't involve gender-bending/gender-changing circumstances. Also such stories shouldn't be less than at least 10k words in length. I'm a length snob and can't stand short fictions. Again, thanks in advance.
24 January 2014 @ 02:08 pm
I don't remember *anything* about this fic except for one fleeting scene.

This is set pre-canon, when Sam at least is in high school. They find a cat, or a kitten. Maybe a puppy? Anyway, a stray adorable animal, and Sam wants to keep it. And John, in a non-bastard way, tells him, We can't keep this animal, animals need space and room, it would feel trapped with us on the road unable to get out of the car; Can you imagine that, Sam?

Dean's the observer.

There's an implication that Sam's suffering something that John doesn't know about? That Sam's trapped in some situation he can't get out of, and so John's words hit harder, because Sam knows exactly what it's like to be trapped, and no one knows and can look out for him.

I'm very sorry I can't provide anymore information - my brain is a squeezed sponge. 
I'm looking for a specific pre-series story where Dean and Sam are young and John leaves them alone in a motel for so long they run out of money. I think Sam gets sick. Dean is too young to even get into a bar let alone hustle pool; he tries to shoplift but that doesn't work (I think because he's so young and because he's alone he's being watched too closely by adults).Out of desperation Dean ends up agreeing to do something sexual with this awful man who lures him into a van and then tries to rape him.  Dean fights him off with a small knife but I think he drops the motel key running away so he has to get back to the hotel and figure out how to get Sam out before this man gets there.It's a dark and terrifying story and for some reason it's haunting me so I'm hoping if I find it and read it again (and if the ending is even a bit happy--I can't remember) I can put it to rest.

Thanks if anyone finds this story!

Still searching!

Edit: I remember a couple more things about the story: I think to escape the Bad guy who has the motel room key, Dean and a very sick Sam go out the back window and they hide out in the woods? And at some point, not sure how, Dean finally calls Pastor Jim, I think? Also, there's a woman with the bad guy (she's evil too) and Dean gets away from the man and woman by using this little knife--it might be something like a swiss army knife corkscrew which he stabs the guy in the foot or leg with?
I just watched "Dark Side of the Moon" and now I have a craving for Flagstaff stories.

Are there any stories out there that are set in those two weeks and are written completely (or mostly) from Dean's point of view? Like: he's realizing Sam is gone, he gets more worried by the minute when he can't find Sam and of course what happens when John comes home.

Long stories preferred, but I'll take everything :)

Only gen, please.
02 August 2013 @ 08:25 pm
Hi guys! I'm looking for a few different types of fics:

1.) Fics where there is an emphasis on Dean being a guardian towards Sam, whether it be in a legal sense, supernatural sense, brotherly sense, etc.

2.) Fics where Sam thinks Dean is dead, and Dean lets Sam believe it.

3.) (Goes along with #2) Dean follows Sam around after he is believed to be dead, watching over Sam and making sure he doesn't get too injured. It'd be cool if eventually the secret got out that he was actually alive.

4.) Any fics where Dean dies and gets sent back to the past (maybe as an angel or as himself) to either raise or act as a guardian to his younger self and/or Sam.

5.) This request is kind of long, but are there any fics where Dean decides to leave John's crusade to enlist (in the army, marines, etc.), promising Sammy that he will stay safe and return to get Sam away from a now furious John? One where he seemingly keeps his promise until his entire squadron goes MIA overseas and is then presumed dead. (Maybe some from Sam's POV about hearing the news and his reactions and grief) And Dean, however, is not dean and instead spends years fighting to lead his remaining comrades home.

I prefer longer fics, but any fic length is good. I'd prefer gen., but some slash is okay as long as the story is good! Thanks guys!
Current Mood: hopeful
20 May 2013 @ 03:03 pm
I read a fanfic (it might have been somewhere on LJ, most likely sassy-otp) a while ago and now I can't seem to find it.
It was from Dean's POV the whole time and he spoke a bit about equilibrium. At the beginning, Dean knew that Sam and Cas liked each other and he thought they were stubborn because neither of them realised it. It had Sam, Dean and Castiel all working at a high school again (Sam was a janitor again, Cas might have been a maths or history teacher and Dean might have been a PE teacher again) but this was only for a little bit. They then had to chaperone a school dance and a kid came up to Dean and asked him who he thought the cutest couple was (it was for a mini-contest or something) and he said that Sam and Cas were secretly together (but they weren't) and they won the contest thing. At first, Dean tries to keep Sam and Cas apart because he's a bit defensive over his brother but when he realises that Sam and Cas don't know about the other's feelings, he backs off completely and starts to try to get them together. A while later, Cas came up to Dean saying that he actually does like Sam and Dean gave him some advice. Then a while after that, Sam comes up to Dean after Cas trying out Dean's tips and Sam isn't happy because he doesn't think he's worth Castiel so he asks Dean to ask Cas to stop. I don't remember much else but I hope I described it well enough :)

Hi guy's hope your having a nice weekend!!

Any who, looking for a Specific Dean/Soulless Sam fic.

What I can remember was Dean had always had feeling's for Sam but never acted on them etc. But after they reunite in season 6, Dean see's it as a 2nd chance and what's to be with Sam. Of course Sam is soulless (Dean does not find this out till later, like in the show.) and he's OK with it. (Soulless Sam is so easy!! ;3)

They sleep together once and for Dean of course it's a big deal and he's hurt when Sam just say's something like "it was fun" but wasn't interested in a repeat.

Some time pass's and Dean finds out Sam is soulless. Sam get's his soul back etc etc. Of course Sam doesn't remember that night, while Dean is happy Sam is 100% but feel's guilty, believing he took advantage of Sam. And also about Sam remembering that night. I'm pretty sure Sam does find out BUT he's had secret feeling for Dean too so it all good. XD

* It was bottom Sam

EDIT - Found story in comments!!
27 March 2013 @ 09:40 pm

There's a story I've been searching for which includes:

Castiel as a teacher and Dean as a student. Dean's new at the school and Castiel is the English teacher who assigns the class classical literature. However, Dean interprets it correctly, mocks it (Dante's Inferno) a bit, and Castiel is impressed. I think John left Dean and Sammy alone while he went hunting.

Castiel is hiding a secret about the supernatural too. (Highlight)His brother Gabriel is a werewolf.

I'm not entirely sure if Sam was mentioned in this fic, but I'm pretty certain he was. I don't know if he played a very important role though.

Thank you! :)
Hi guys. I'm looking for a specific fic, an old one - it was written sometime in season 3 or between season 3 and 4, as far as I can remember. I've read it a few years ago, so I hope I can remember it well enough.
This is a oneshot of a rather short or medium length, in which you only reveal the point of the story at the very end. It's a gen, and naturally, no angels are involved. The brothers are traveling, I think they are just traveling and not hunting as well, and the whole time Dean - whose point of view we are seeing - feels that there is something rather weird about it all, but he can't tell what exactly. At the end, it reveled that everything they saw was actually an artificial world that Sam created somehow with his powers and contains recollections of his memories and experiences, and the whole real world outside of them is ruined, everyone dead but the two of them. 

I wish someone would be able to help - I'd be so happy! :)

Edit: The fic is found by grasshopr_molly: it's Dwellers in Silence.

Thanks a lot to all the good people that helped and tried to help me! 
14 March 2013 @ 09:49 pm
I've noticed there are a lot of fics dealing with Sam hooking up with men or even working as a hooker and Dean getting possessive/jealous/protective and while I don't have anything against this type of story I'm looking for an unusual spin on it: Anything where Sam sleeps with a woman and Dean reacts in any way unnormal - i.e not slapping Sam on the back and a "You sly dog, Sammy."

Be it Sam sleeping with women (a lot), Sam being abused by a woman (interesting topic), Sam working as a hooker for women or Sam getting a girlfriend and Dean worrying about his little brother, anything goes. (Maybe even Sam in a D/s relationship with a woman - don't think I've ever read something like this...) For this kinda story I'd prefer bottom!Sam but anything else is fine too. Wincest or Gen, just rec anything that comes to mind.

Thanks a lot!
10 March 2013 @ 03:32 pm

Hi All,

I was hoping somebody could help me. I'm looking for two Sam/Dean fics that are set after Swan Song.

They're about 6000w each, and they're a Sam pov and a Dean pov. I think Sam has a glamour on himself to make him look different and he becomes friends with Dean after Swan Song.

I know that's really vague but I would love anyone forever if they could help.

Thanks in Advance!


Ok, this was Dean had cancer and so they hole up for a bit and he gets chemo and mostly what I remember is the whole thing was just kind of matter-of-fact toned. Dean doesn't lose his hair and it mentions that except for check-ups having cancer isn't ever really brought up or mentioned again in their life. I remember Sam and Dean but I can't remember if there was John, so I'm assuming it was early S1. I read it on an LJ.

-----> Found: Silver Earrings by wave_obscura

Cas falls (from heaven) and then his body falls apart because angels weren't meant to live in human bodies (or some reason like that.) He gets sick and the fic ends with him dying. At one point Dean asks why only Sam & Bobby (they are staying at Bobby's) can help him shower,etc and Cas says it's because he doesn't want Dean to see him like this. I think near the end he goes for a drive with Cas (even though Cas is too weak for it at this point) and they (finally?) kiss. Cas says at one point he doesn't regret falling. They may have shared a bed. Dean POV, I believe.

-----> Found: full of sparks by glassyskies

Thank you!!! I know, neither really have that much to go on, but anything that rings a distance bell.
29 January 2013 @ 11:14 am
Hello, I hope you all can help me.
1. I'm looking for some Dean centric/Dean POV destiel fics. I love Insecure!dean, Low self-Esteem!dean, and hurt!dean. I've already read Unexpected Destinies and Point Pleasant. AU or Non-AU.
2. Geek!dean AU's.
Longer the better for both requests.
3. And a specific fic. I only had a chance to read a chapter of it before I lost it. All I remember is Dean kinda saying yes to Michael. Michael gives Dean some of his powers and gives him a certain amount of time to stop the apocolypse. Cas was not very happy about it at first. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.

Thanks in advance.
I've looked through all the posts in the appropriate episode tag and couldn't find it. Dean still stabs himself to get out of the dream, but it turns out that the AU was real too - the Dean belonging to the WIAWSNB-verse gets the wound and ends up in the hospital. He's with Carmen in this 'verse. Later, he gets flashes of Dean's hunting life. He even goes to a therapist and is hypnotized, and it's Hunter!Dean speaking. He and Sam also spend more time together. I remember in one chapter he and Sam were at a bank and there's a robbery, and Dean disarms one of the robbers by instinct. Later on he also starts looking into supernatural stuff, and Sam comes along, and I think they get rid of a ghost - possibly a boy that was struck by lightning or electrocuted. Missouri may or may not have been in it.
I'm looking for two specific fics:

1. This is a god!Cas fic, and starts with Cas carving Dean's soul into wings, which is excruciating painful. This fic is Cas trying to get Dean back to him, I believe, and has Cas taking Dean around different heavens/parts of the world (?) and trying to show he's doing good (though it's iffy if he is?) It ends with Dean (grudgingly) saying ok. I think there was also a scene with Sam near the end basically being like, he's not that bad of a god. ~ sorry about the question marks, I really only remember the opening scene.

 -----> Found: Theodicy by manic_intent

2. Ok, this one is even more fuzzy - it starts as a sweet domestic fic between Sam and Dean. I think Dean knows something was off in the beginning, but it may just be he noticed over time (like he thought it was another djinn world). It either started as wincest or became it over time. As the fic goes on Dean gets more and more creeped out by Sam, and the town, and Sam starts to show him he should be scared. The sex and life get more and more violent (the sex starts to get into dub-con and then non-con?) and Dean is so freaking scared by the end of it. I can't remember if this is demon!Sam or Lucifer!Sam but I'm almost positive it wasn't Soulless!Sam. Basically it was Sam giving Dean happy, domestic life and then the evil of him starts to spread into the picture perfect. Ugh, I know, this is barely anything to go on, and I'm not doing this story justice because it was legitimately one of the creepiest fics I've ever read. ETA: It wasn't right but the guess below reminded me that this could have been Dean's version of Hell and he just didn't know it.

--------> Found: Stepford by ash_carpenter

I think I read these both off of A03. Both were either all or mostly Dean's POV.

Thank you for all your help!

(Mods: Is there no God!Cas tag or did I just completely miss it?)
I remember coming across this fic a lot and of course now that I want to find it, I can't. I'm looking for a specific fic, I cannot remember the name, but its about Dean and Sam being sent by Castiel to hunt this strange creature that turns out to be a Wraith.  SGA-1 are hunting it too.  Some story points are Sheppard gets in a car accident and Dean saves him, they go to a bar several times, and there is a wraith ship on Earth.  The story is told in both Dean and Sheppard's pov and Castiel is epic in it.

Help please!

14 September 2012 @ 02:17 am
Okay, so there's a fic...

I've been looking for it for a couple days, but apparently I don't remember enough meaningful information about it to find the damn thing. This is what I know:
  • s6 happened as it was supposed to, but then God brought Gabriel back to change things
  • The pairings are Cas/Dean, Michael/Lucifer, and some (I think) Gabriel/Sam
  • The villain calls herself Eve's daughter and can incapacitate all our characters via her own sex pollen/venom/stuff
  • Dean thinks he's in a djinn world because he keeps having visions of the actual s7
  • Castiel spends some time locked in the cage with Michael & Lucifer
  • There's this weird angelic marriage/mating/bonding/heat thing between Cas & Dean that I don't think was intentional
  • At least some of it is from Dean's POV

So, any takers?
Current Location: Texas
Current Mood: confused
24 August 2012 @ 02:35 am
Dean and Sam are caught in the "French Mistake"/Meta!Universe and Misha is in a relationship with Jensen. Assuming Dean is his Jensen, Misha takes him to their home and cares for him etc. Dean gradually falls in love with Misha and more so, Cas because he understands how perfect Cas is compared to everyway Misha is perfect for Jensen.

There are two specific things which define this fic and may help narrow the search:

Misha buys Jensen a car that is exactly like the Impala, right down to the S.W and D.W engravings (not knowing that he's giving it to Dean, not Jensen) 
Dean takes a picture off of the fridge where Misha and Jensen are looking very happy with each other, before he returns to Cas. When back in the SPN universe Cas finds the photo and realises Dean loves him.

I hope this helps.
12 July 2012 @ 11:59 am
       Okay, I'm not really sure if this exists, but I'd love to read a story where Cas brought Sam back in Season six with his soul, but he wasn't able to get Sam's body right, and Sam ended up still in the body of a teenager.  Then Dean ends up raising Ben and Sam together, or any other variation like that.  
       Anything where Dean ends up raising Sam would be great though.  
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Do you love me
Current Location: BFE
Hello everybody.  This is my second time here, and i hope that some of you resourceful people around will be able to help me find a wincest fic i read a while ago. I must confess that it was a long time ago (like2 or 3 years ago), and since then i've never been able to find it again. It's driving me crazy, because it was so awesome, and i didn't had the right mind to save it then!  Had all the angst, hotness, love&tenderness i crave in a fic. I don't know if the author got deleted or she (he) deleted her (his  work). The most important details i remember are these: the work was definitely on samdean archive. Ffor a long time Dean was harboring feelings for his little bro and he was feeling very guilty & afraid that Sam will leave him if he ever found out. Sam was in highschool, was kinda shy, they were staying somewhere in some  rented house, and John was gone hunting. I remember that at some point Dean dragged Sam with him at a party (college party i think). Even before they entered the party, some girls admired Sam and cooed over him saying he was very sweet, like a puppy:). After they arrived at the party, Dean found himself a girl and proceeded in charming her, meanwhile Sam received a drink from a girl, never knowing that drink was spiked with something. I remember that he didn't knew why he was feeling so funny and he found himself talking to a plant, while the girl kept stroking his hair saying he was very sweet&innocent. When Dean found him he realized what was happening, yelled at the girl and dragged  a loopy Sam somewhere to a room, trying to calm him, all the while comforting him saying that everything will be alight. I remembered that he hugged Sam, he helped stand next to a door, and from then on, the things progressed and Dean ended up giving his brother a blowjob. I remember  that Dean wanted it very much, couldn't helped it all the blaming himself that he was sick&perverted that he took advantage of his brother. After, he helped Sam and they've gone home. Still, Sam couldn't forget (as drugged as he was) and wanted more and more. I don't remember if Dean's feelings were returned before all of this, but Sam begun to pressure Dean in giving in. Dean broke down once or twice (can't remember well) by giving another blowjob to Sam ( permanently thinking how much he wanted Sam but still blaming himself), and then guilt won and he cut him off completely. Despite all of this, Sam still insisted until Dean broke down. I remember it was so very angsty and hot, underneath all of these the love,tenderness& protectiveness of Dean burned so bright. *sigh*
Wow, such a long rant.

OMG, FOUND IT!!!! It's here : http://www.journalfen.net/users/highon_life/19152.html (i don't know why crappy lj won't allow me to post the link directly). SO HAPPY! And apparently (now i remember) it was a verse as you can see here http://spnstoryfinders.livejournal.com/930535.html. To bad the author deleted her journal, now i remember the angsty, terrific story continues from there *sigh*. Thanks so much to everybody who looked and pointed me to the right direction. Group hug
Current Mood: giddy