I was hoping you could help me find Stanford era Dean-centric fics that have MINIMAL Sam angst. I'm tired of starting promising looking fics only to discover Dean spends all his time missing Sam or thinking about how smart and strong he is to get out of the life. It's both out of character and uninteresting to me when Dean has no anger or resentment about the fact that he was (in his point of view) abandoned. So I would like recommendations that aren't all about Sam's absence. However, a focus on his relationship with John is more than welcome, as are case fics.

I'm also looking for pre-series fics that explore the dangerous situations Dean was put in as a child with a focus on human monsters. Especially the scarily plausible idea that he was sexually abused in the past. A trope that I'm tired of encountering when it comes to this type of fic is when the predator is originally after Sam and either settles for Dean or Dean offers himself up to protect Sam. Please, recommend me stories that avoid that cliche and have Dean as the one who's in danger from the start. The only fics I'm accepting where that scenario plays out would be ones where Dean is bitter about what happened to him instead of perfectly content that nothing bad happened to his brother.

I apologize for how bitter this request sounds. I just want Dean trauma fic that is about Dean and only Dean and avoids cliches. If you happen to have something that fits the general description without necessarily being pre-series then I welcome that too.
22 May 2017 @ 12:26 am
I'm wondering if there are any fics where Dean or Sam (slight preference for Dean) have an abusive girlfriend - and this is NOT used to make him alter or reconsider his sexuality (that is, he does not suddenly discover an interest in males) or throw him into the arms of someone else (regardless of said someone else's gender/sex). Apparently, this is a trope for Destiel fics, but I'm a non-shipper so any non-ship fics of this sort I'd love to read. I just see both brothers (slightly moreso Dean) being really ripe for a manipulative romantic partner. Because I'm a canon-only sort of girl, please no abusive boyfriends for either brother.
Hello. I have a few general searches I'd appreciate some help with.

1) Any fics dealing with the torture Sam went through at the hands of Michael and Lucifer whilst stuck in the cage.

2) Fics about Sam (either set in or similar to season 7) dealing with Lucifer banging up his noggin.

3) Possible AU's where Sam actually was still stuck in the cage and Lucifer was just messing with his head, rather than Sam just being crazy.

4) Any alpha/omega style fics where Dean/Cas/Sam are omegas and have abusive alphas, with some hurt/comfort in there of course.

5) Fics where Cas has somehow become human and turns to Sam and Dean for help, but Dean (or Sam) decides they can't forgive him for the things he's done and abuses him in secret. (And I've already read Repent Of Your Sins (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1178489), which is what got me onto this in the first place.

I'd appreciate the help. Thanks guys.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Five Finger Death Punch, Battle Born
Hello, me again.

Specific fic: There's this alpha/omega style fic I started reading a week ago but forgot to bookmark, I think it may have been on AO3, and it had Dean, Cas, Charlie and I think someone named Gilda(?) where they were at some sort of omega resort, and Cas and Dean were in a relationship that their alphas' didn't know about. I think I got up to the point where Cas reveals his alpha has taken him off of birth control and Dean kinda freaks out a bit. That's all I can remember.

General searches:
1) Any alpha/omega style fics where Dean/Cas/Sam are omegas and have abusive alphas, with some hurt/comfort in there of course.

2) Fics where Cas has somehow become human and turns to Sam and Dean for help, but Dean (or Sam) decides they can't forgive him for the things he's done and abuses him in secret. (And I've already read Repent Of Your Sins (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1178489), which is what got me onto this in the first place.

I'd appreciate the help. Thanks guys.
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Breaking Benjamin, Anthem Of The Angels
21 November 2016 @ 01:23 pm
I have a few general searches:

1) Anything where Dean is abused by someone but keeps it a secret from everyone, but then when they're adults someone (John, Sam, Bobby etc.) finds out and comforts him.

2) Something where Dean suffers through really bad abuse in order to protect Sam from it (preferably teenchester or weechester).

3) Dean or Sam is being abused by John and the other finds out.

If anyone could help me out that'd be great!
16 October 2016 @ 08:18 pm
Hi, so I'm looking for any fics that are centered around Dean and John, where John is an abusive/neglectful father and doesn't treat Dean the way he treats Sam. I'm open to any and all kind of abuse, whether it be sexual or psychological. Preferably no wincest, but that doesn't really bother me too much.
14 October 2016 @ 01:41 pm
Hi is there any fics where Dean abuses Cas or the other way around whilst in a relationship?

I don't mind if it is emotional, mental, sexual, financial or physical but would prefer physical.

Thank you.
Current Mood: calm
Looking for a fic where Sam and Dean are hunting a ghost. They call Bobby for info, and when he hears what town they're in, he rushes to join them. The boys don't remember being there before, but they were when John and Bobby were on a hunt. Flashback has a pedofile ghost going after Dean in their hotel room, because he's trying to protect Sam. He makes a deal that if he doesn't fight, he won't hurt Sammy. Dean doesn't remember it in the present, but Bobby suspected more happened than Dean admitted to at the time. Somehow, the ghost is back, maybe? I think they had to kill it again in the present. Any help? I wanna say the title is the name of the town, but I'm not certain. Gen fic, case fic.
06 August 2016 @ 10:32 pm
1) Looking for fics where Dean is abused by John (or Sam) and saved by other people (Bobby, Pastor Jim, random people). Any kind of abuse is welcome.

2) This may be one fic or several fics that had the same theme. Dean dies in the main universe. John and/or Sam somehow enter an alternate universe. The Dean in that universe is being abused by its John and Sam. So original John and/or Sam rescue alt!Dean and bring him back to their universe to save.
01 August 2016 @ 07:33 pm
I read this Fanfic sometime last year and have been searching for it for about 3 months now!

Dean and Sam return back to a cabin (in a swamp possibly) where they stayed a summer as children. During the duration of that summer Dean is molested. In one of the chapters (a telling of he events) it is described as being hot and sticky as Dean is wrapped in a blanket sleeping on the floor while Sam sleeps on the bed. Dean is only abused when Sam is sleep. Dean begins acting peculiar and distraught.
Sam does not know about any of this until he peers through the Cabin door and sees that the man is going to rape Dean again. Sam is enraged and shocked. He then knocks the door down and attacks the man. Dean is now catatonic or acting like nothing happened. Sam tells Dean that they need to talk about (I believe they are in a kayak-boat now). Dean dismisses/objects/declines Sam at first but then tells him what happened. The narration alternates between NOW (current events) to THEN (Sometime in the 80's/90's.)
John is not involved as he left them there while he was on a hunt. John is friends with the man who is possibly a hunter.
I read a fanfiction where is in an abusive relationship with Michael and Castiel is Michael's boss. Michael forces dean to sleep with castiel in order to give himself better chances at work.
I think that it was in an a/b/o universe and I'm pretty sure that it was on ao3.

Does anyone know the story?

Oh and I think that it was Part of a series!
Current Mood: curious
Hi y’all,

I’m looking for fics that feature any kind of hurt!Dean (injured on a solo hunt or after he got separated from his hunting partner, hooking to get money, in Hell, kidnapped, captured, tortured… you get the gist). I know there are tons of fics like that out there, but I would like to find those that don’t use hurt!Dean as a reason to pity him, show how damaged and broken he is and how he needs protection from Sam/Cas/whoever.

I’d like to read those that concentrate on the fact that even after going through something awful, Dean’s still strong enough to pull through. To endure, to wait it out, if need be. Bend, or even break, but also to put those broken pieces together again. To survive. (And still be able to find joy in life, to see good in the world, to care about those around him.)

In a similar vein, I’m also looking for hurt!Dean fics where Dean saves himself instead of having to wait for somebody else to come and save him. Maybe he overpowers/outsmarts his kidnappers and even wounded and bleeding, manages to get to a phone and call for someone to come for him. Maybe he dislodges himself from the tree trunk that fell on him when he was hunting a wendigo and manages to stagger/limp/crawl from the woods, reach the Impala and drive himself to a hospital.

Of course the fic doesn’t have to feature Dean only, other characters can be there too, and help him along the way, but Dean should be the one who pulls most of the weight when it comes to his rescue.

I’ll take gen, slash or het, any pairings. And I’ll be grateful for any suggestions. Thank you!

ETA: these are some stories that I’ve already read and that are in the spirit of what I’m looking for: Highway Chile, Wolf in Lamb’s Clothing, Ramble On, The 1300 Days, Last Child, Please Exit Hell Quietly by the Rear Doors, the Drive 'verse.

Even though Dean is in a really bad way in most of those, I feel they all showcase his strength of will, his determination to fight, in one way or another.
Current Mood: hopeful
25 November 2015 @ 04:39 am

I'm looking for this one specific homeless teen Dean fic. He meets Castiel behind a dumpster behind the Roadhouse (I think?) when he's looking for a place to sleep after he got kicked out by his dad. In the end they both sleep there. They both work as a prostitute, sometimes together. One day Alistair kidnaps Dean and they don't find him for a few days (weeks?). In the end Dean ends up in the hospital and Sam and John are there as well? -->
I lost all my bookmarks so if anyone could rec some longer (preferably at least 10k but if you think a shorter one is amazing too please add as well :) ) fics with these themes that would be great;
- Dark pre-stanford/stanford era. Dean centric.
- Abused!Dean (all the abuse, by everyone, canon or au)
- Abused!Castiel (again all the abuse)
- Abused Sam, but only by Castiel,Dean or John.
- Any other dark stories with Dark!Sam/Dean/Cas
- Any story where John comes back from the dead after season 5.

29 September 2015 @ 02:44 am
I've been looking for this specific fic that I didn't remember the title or the author is. Dean admitted into asylum since he was a kid. I remember he was admitted because he's the only one who saw what happened in the fire that killed his mother (about the yellow eyed demon killed her), but when he tried telling anyone about that, no one believe him and thought it's just trauma. But Dean always said that demon killed Mary though months (or years?) had passed, so John admitted him to an asylum, thinking the shrinks could help his son. John and Sam lived in ignorance, until Sam got vision when he's an adult. But I think they think that's just dream, because I remember they believe about supernatural after Castiel the angel came and "kidnapped" Dean.
22 May 2015 @ 09:26 am

I'm looking for stories that have Dean being abandoned or taken for granted by his family, especially John. Abuse is okay too. Anything where Dean is being treated like shit by his family. If he leaves them or does something about it, that's great! I love when Bobby is involved.

08 May 2015 @ 12:12 am
Hey guys,
Found in the comments thank you!
I'm looking for a specific non-con destiel fic, I don't remember many details.

- Sam, Dean and Cas are all traveling together.
- Sam thinks Dean and Cas are in a consensual relationship and books 2 motel rooms so they could have privacy.
- Cas became a human or is graceless
- Cas is not allowed to sleep on the bed, he has to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag.
- Cas is abused by Dean as punishment.
- Sam finds out Cas is not allowed to sleep on the bed and freaks out.
- I'm pretty sure it was on ao3 but it could also be on livejournal.

I'm also looking for some dark destiel fics, preferably hosted on livejournal.
One of them is dark, both of them are dark, neither of them are dark but they're in a dark situation,etc...
Au's are more than welcome, as are self-recs. I like Sam too so I'm totally okay with him being in the story as well.
Happy ending not required.
21 April 2015 @ 12:19 pm
Hey guys, I'm looking for some stories where Dean or Jensen is just fucked up. I'm looking for some high quality angst in a Dean or Jensen centered story. I'm not pick about the length, and my preferred ships are J2, Wincest, DeanCas, and Cockles. I also prefer bottom!Dean and bottom!Jensen, so let me know otherwise, please. If it's RPS, please no wife-hate!
Thank you!!
11 March 2015 @ 07:29 pm

There were three fics that I read at various points in time and despite combing through my bookmarks, I can't seem to find them (probably because I have too many bookmarks...).

Anyway, the first was a Destiel fic alternate season 4/5 sorta deal. At some point, it's revealed that Dean is God or something of the sort and he has to seal the gates of heaven to stop the Apocalypse. There's a scene in the end where he's about to sacrifice himself and he's telling Cas to let all the angels know that he's closing the gates for good and whoever wants out of Heaven needs to go now. Cas figures out that he plans on dying to finish his mission and begs him to "let it go" (but i don't remember what 'it' was in this fic).

The second story is also Destiel, I think. Dean and Sam were hunting something in the beginning of the story and Dean's supposed to be protecting Grace (or something - I'm fuzzy on the details) and ends up swallowing it, thus gaining all sorts of powers and whatnot? That's all I really remember for that one.

The final one is Wincest non-con. Apparently the author wasn't a big Wincest fan but was tasked with writing a Wincest fic anyway and wrote one where Sam was possessed and rapes Dean. The story opens, I believe, with Sam handcuffed to the bed by Dean but he doesn't remember why or what happened. Dean's skittish and uncomfortable around Sam (as one would imagine) but still hunts with him. I think Sam figures out what he's done once he sees bruises on some part of Dean's body. I believe there also may have been a sequel? Pretty sure I read this one on ff.net. (And it's not the story where Sam and John were possessed and raped Dean as Hands and Fist under Dick Roman's control.)

I'm looking for any fics with:

1) abusive/drunk/asshole!john abuses dean in any way.
Bonus for (especially) Sam, or maybe even Bobby (or some other character) intervening on Dean's behalf.

2) fics with Jared/Jensen where either J1 or J2 (or both?) is being abused by their spouse/partner/parent, etc. Especially fics where J1 saves J2 from the situation - lots of hurt/comfort.

If anybody could help me find fics like this... it would make me very happy. <3
For reference, I think I might post fics I've already recced' here as well.

The Recs so Far...
My delicious tags for abuse (I must be a psycho...so many tags):

Recs by [livejournal.com profile] ohwillothewisp

  • Old Ghosts, New Love When Jared and Jensen have their first real fight it brings to light some trauma from Jensen's past.

  • Stealing His Omega Jensen was a thief for hire. He had just not expected to find this priceless treasure in the house he was robbing.

  • Wedding Night  Jared is a young omega who is about to go into his first heat. At the same time, his parents set up an arranged mating to secure a business deal. To Jared's surprise, his alpha isn't interested and instead, ties him to a machine with no synthetic knot or alpha pheremones to satisfy his heat - for who knows how long. Jensen is a thief-for-hire (mid to late 20s), and he's been told the home containing his target should be empty, so he's curious when he hears crying and moaning. When he finds Jared, a clearly unclaimed omega all alone, he knows he's gonna steal a little something for himself as well. Besides, an alpha who doesn't take good care of their omega doesn't deserve to keep them anyways. At first Jared thinks his alpha has returned for him, but he becomes frightened when it becomes clear that some stranger wants to take him away. He desperately wants to be knotted but he doesn't trust this stranger and knows that it's very important to his parents that his marriage works out.

  • The Jester Jensen is the sidekick to one of the world's most respected heroes. A man loved and admired by all. What nobody knows is that the hero in question has been sexually abusing Jensen, since he took the boy in as his ward. Warning Jensen that if he tried to tell anyone the truth of what's been happening, no one would believe him, since everyone would just assume that Jensen had been brainwashed by one of his guardian's enemies. One day, Jensen is hurt in a fight against one of said heroes younger supervillain nemeses, aka Jared. Jensen is more hurt due to something that his mentor did to him, than what the bad guy's did to him.  Jared initially just takes Jensen along, planning to use him as a hostage against his mentor, but then he somehow finds out what the hero has been doing to Jensen. After that Jared becomes immensely protective of Jensen, takes care of him and tries to help him. Only stopping Jensen from going back, because he knows that if Jensen does, he'll just go back to his guardian's abuse. And he knows Jensen only wants to go back because he's scared of what his guardian would do to him if he didn't.

Recs by [livejournal.com profile] casey679

  • * Bring Me to Life: Jared’s a shy young man, whose life has never been easy. His father hates him, his mother drinks her sorrows away and his husband Paul condescendingly treats him like he is nothing more than a beautiful toy. When his husband has to go away on a business trip to Europe for two months, he sends Jared away to a ranch in the middle of nowhere to keep him under control. There, Jared meets people who show him what love, friendship and loyalty mean for the first time in his life. Can he escape his life and finally find some love and happiness for himself?

  • * Stars Fall In: Growing up next door to each other in Calvary, Tennessee, Jared has known Jensen practically their entire lives. He knows almost everything there is to know about Jensen, harbors all of Jensen’s secrets. And that’s why Jared is hellbent on getting Jensen out of there, before it’s too late.

  • * The Best Gift of All: Sam runs away from and abusive relationship, taking his daughter with him. On the road and trying to get as far as possible on limited funds, his car breaks down. Against his better judgment, Dean, a mostly retired hunter and the town mechanic, offers to let them stay with him until repairs can be made. Together, they find a way to comfort and heal each other.

  • * Shouting Out Loud: "Jensen and Jared are college students who are nothing alike and meet for the first time when they both enroll in an acting seminar. They are cast as the leads in an experimental 2-man play dealing with domestic violence."

  • * Fight for What's Yours: Jensen has to deal with a lot of things: the fact that he's in love with Jared is one. But when Chris asks Jared out, everything changes. Tiny trembles were felt as I pressed him closer and it was clear he was fighting the rising tears. Those beautiful eyes peered up through lashes damp with moisture and his broken voice whispered, 'Can I stay?' 'Oh, Jay…' I murmured, tugging him along the couch until he was practically in my lap and sliding my arms firmly around his torso, giving him the support he needed.

  • * Mismanaged: Jared has a secret that he hides from everyone. The only family he has left, his manager, has been manipulating him, forcing him to audition the old-fashioned way: on his knees. When he meets Jensen, he knows his secret is in jeopardy. When Jensen finds out, will he listen or will he break Jared's heart.

  • * Us Against The World: At the age of 10, Jensen had a car accident that caused brain injury, changing his life forever. Now at the age of 30 he is trying to branch out on his own for the first time. Jared is abused and mistreated by his widowed father. Friendless and alone, he meets Jensen when the older man moves into one of his father’s apartments. Can Jensen and Jared change their lives? Together they have a chance.

Recs by [livejournal.com profile] elwarre

  • Dangerous Waters by [livejournal.com profile] virtualpersonal: "Two decades ago, Dean Winchester was betrayed and left for dead by his own father. Now, the so-called Pirate King is poised to take revenge on the father who cast him out, and the brother who took his rightful place and has been living the high life. When Sam Winchester sets sail to collect a bride that he does not want, his journey is cut short and he finds himself at the mercy of a hard, bastard of a pirate who hates him and orders him to his bed. Inexplicably drawn to this mercurial and sometimes cruel man who holds the power of life or death over him, Sam walks a dangerous tightrope using everything in his arsenal to convince Dean to change course and see him as partner and ally rather than as his pawn and victim."

Bonus:Recs by [livejournal.com profile] rainbowglowing

  • Gunpoint by [livejournal.com profile] felisblanco: Jensen got his childhood stolen away from him when he was ten years old. Along with his memory, his voice and every emotion that wasn’t fear, hatred or anger. Question is, can Jared help him get any of it back? And more importantly, does Jensen really want him to?

Hi everyone!
I've been looking through the suicidal tag and I gave up for like 2 pages, cuz they're ALL suicidal!Sam. So I decided just to try my luck here...

I'm looking for stories where Dean is suicidal for whatever reason(Sam leaving him, feel unworthy, being tortured/raped, etc), and he tries to hurt or kill himself and Sam or John or whoever finds out about it and feels guilty or something like that.

I prefer gen fic and stanford!era, or stories set in the first few seasons, but other eras are OK. If the fic has slash content I'd love it features a bottom!Dean. I love long fics, so that I can cry over and savour Dean's pain. ;)

Bonus if the person finds out about it feels super guilty (cuz they are neglecting Dean or something they've done hurt Dean very very badly) and becomes super protective over Dean.
Bo-bonus if the fic also has some delicious hurt!Dean. Cuz Dean is so beautiful when he's broken. XD

Hope I can get manysome recs. ><

Thanks in advance!
24 November 2014 @ 08:29 pm

I feel like I've read all the good fan fics out there- I need help!

I'm looking for well-written multi-chapter, angsty, hurt!Dean fics with lots of brotherly love (AUs are my favorite- I like plot twists that take me by surprise!)

Please no angels, no destiel and no sexy business :P (doesn't have to be gen, just no sex scenes)

To make it easier for you, here are some specific things I'd like:

  1. Permanent injury

  2. Bullied!Dean, abused!Dean

  3. Weechesters

  4. Pre-series hurt!Dean

  5. Dean hiding injury or abuse

  6. Permanent injury due to torture

  7. PTSD (not hell related tho)

  8. Domestic fics

Hi all, this is an older fic and I'm really vague on the details.

Dean and Sam not raised together. Probably on ff.net. Dean was a prostitute and Sam was being raised by a nice middle class family. I think they had the opportunity to take Dean at the same time but chose not to. At the start of the fic I think Dean somehow escaped/ran away from a 'john' in a hotel with Sam's help? Sam and his family were staying in the hotel too which was really lucky as the bad guy was a planning to kill (he was a serial killer?) Dean. I think they both realise they're long lost brothers. Sam talks his parents into taking Dean back home with them and letting Dean stay with them. I think another (or the same) serial killer/demon starts tracking Dean. Also Dean has a lot of trouble fitting in and Sam's mum has issues with Dean too (possibly guilt? She might have been the one to say no to adopting Dean in the first place). That's all I have. So, thanks in advance.
26 October 2014 @ 09:28 am
My pardon if this search has been done recently, but since there's no fairy tag that I could find I really wasn't sure how to look through past posts for it.

So. Due to another recent search, I read Henchgirl's Nicnivin, which was painful and yet not somehow not overly angsty, with Dean being spirited away by fairies. And although the fic itself is complete, I made the mistake of reading the continuation which is NOT complete so now I'm left hankering for more angsty fairy fic. Not cute fairy fic. Not light-hearted fairy fic. More like Faerie fic (though I always think it's pretentious to spell it that way *snort*)-- you know, creatures that are not nice in any way shape or form though they might be beautiful. Combine that with Dean in emotional pain, and you get a fic like Nicnivin which is di-voon. Any more fics like that out there?
22 October 2014 @ 07:08 pm
I've somehow stumbled across quite a few fics lately where Gabriel or Balthazar or Meg (or someone) threatens Dean about his relationship with Cas because of how protective of him they are. Usually it's the, "you hurt him and I'll [insert bodily harm here]." It's gotten a little annoying lately. So I was wondering if anyone had something where the opposite happens - where Sam, Jess, Sarah, Benny, Charlie, Bobby or whatever threaten Cas about hurting Dean and they're all very protective of him for some reason?n Or, alternatively, where Dean is in a relationship with Cas (or Benny, Aaron - any male slash but preferably not Wincest) and they somehow break his heart. Maybe he's dumped or cheated on or forced to be in a secret relationship with them because his partner isn't out? Abused Dean like with Alistair also works!

Any fic request where it's RPF with Jensen in these situations with Jared or Misha or JDM are appreciated as well!
Current Location: my couch
Current Music: Beyonce
21 October 2014 @ 01:49 am
Hey guys! This is my first time posting, so apologies if I do it wrong!

I'm looking for fics containing all or some of these elements:
- John takes his anger out on Dean all the time, being physically and/or emotionally abusive
- Sam doesn't realise until much later (my favourite fics are where Sam finds out when they're both adults that John used to beat Dean up and Sam feels really bad about it)
- John Winchester generally being a really terrible guy to Dean, e.g. making it clear that Sam is the favourite/most important

Basically I want fics where John beats the hell out of Dean, I don't really care what age!

Please, NO Wincest or John/Dean or really any pairings at all. And no sexual abuse by John please. I would also prefer it to be pre-season 4/without Castiel, but I'll take anything I can get at this point really!

Thank you so much in advance! :)
22 September 2014 @ 12:31 am
Hi everyone - I'm looking for a Wincest fic. It's in Sam's POV, and he witnessed John raping Dean and killed John with a gun. CPS was called, and they took in Dean and Sam. Dean said that he killed John, and he was put into some sort of mental institution. Sam was later adopted by a healthy normal family. Years later, word gets out that Dean escaped and that he was looking for Sam. While this happens, Sam was already having a relationship with Dean, although Sam had no idea that Dean is his brother. There's a scene where when Sam finds out that Dean is actually his brother, Sam hurts Dean but really regrets it afterwards and kisses Dean until Dean responds back.

And then Dean tells him that he was abused by his psychologist but he was "smart about it" and was paid for having sex with the psychologist. Then Dean says that he'll take care of Sam from now on.

Thank you in advance! :)
Here I am again, hi awesome storyfinders!

I'm looking for Sam/Dean fics, two specifics and a general search:

1. Sam is king of hell and he breaks Dean into his role as consort/slave with extreme force. He does this in a broad variety of ways, but one thing I can really remember is that at a certain point Ben is living with Sam and Dean, there to be used as leverage to make Dean behave. Eventually Dean accidentally reveals to Sam that he had thought about killing himself by jumping/falling out of a window, and that wasn't permitted so Sam crushes Ben's skull with his hand. Other details are that Sam is really psycho, very undisturbed by all the horrible things he does. He also kind of digs into Dean's soul with his powers (I think Dean described black tendrils? it hurts), and he kills someone in their bedroom and Dean can't see it because there is fabric covering all of the blood. Ruby is there, and Bobby and Jo and maybe Ellen and Rufus are kept by Sam in the building. Eventually Dean is allowed to see them, but by then he's already almost completely broken in. He also wears a necklace that has power over him in the end which is given to him by Sam. If I'm correct it was a collar first. The collar had the power to make Dean really high and submissive, Dean finds it in Sam's study after Sam decides he doesn't have to wear it in a drawer with all kinds of 'train your dog/bird' books and a diary with how well Dean did with really psycho notes from sam with smilies and stuff (Dean gets really angry when he finds it because Sam had said that he'd thrown the collar out). Also Dean had a tattoo that got more intricate the more he accepted Sam. Lots of angsting by Dean that he still loved Sam somehow and that he gets really aroused by him.

2. Sam loses his soul and turns into a serial killer. He kills at least one of Dean's hookups and also a cat, which he throws out of the window of the car while he drives it. Dean doesn't know he does it (i think) and when Sam get his soul back he is really surprised that he still has the killing urge, although he does regret the cat. He starts killing again, and he keeps one of his victims dogs and gives the dog to Dean. Dean eventually finds out and makes sure the bodies aren't found, keeping Sam's works a secret. After that they start to have a relationship, and Dean goes downhill from there, letting Sam cut patterns (diamonds?) into his skin and being extremely jealous of the time Sam spends with his victims. He follows Sam when he goes to kill one time and nearly ruins the whole experience for Sam, but the next time he brings a camera or laptop or something to show Dean how he does it. the victim is a man and live on camera Sam offers the heart to a very emotional and grateful Dean, throwing it away carelessly because he already has Dean's heart and that's so much better anyway (or something similarly cheesypsycho). Mildly disturbing: Dean asks Sam to eat his heart and Sam cuts away a piece of his skin and eats some of the flesh over his heart then packs it with gauze. The emphasis is really on how much Dean loves Sam and how he loses his sanity, how jealous he is of Sam's victims, that it's not right, and Sam's delight in how much Dean loves him and how submissive he becomes, desperate for Sam's attention. I always got the impression that Dean ultimately wanted to be Sam's victim to be completely his but that might be my overactive imagination. I think I read it on AO3 but I'm not sure.

both fics were pretty long, and if found I really recommend them to everyone because whew are they good. Also both were bottom!Dean.

For the general search: any fic in the vein of the two I just described, emphasis on how the bond between the brothers is sick and twisted and incredibly strong. I prefer bottom!Dean but if it is really good I can read Bottom!Sam, just please warn beforehand. please no consensual (like full, 110% unmanipulated, sane safe consensual) BDSM.

Sorry or the length of this thing, and I really hope they're found! Thanks for reading this!
22 May 2014 @ 01:05 pm
Hi, I'm into abused!dean and abusive!sam, and for detail, I'm looking for things like:

1. Sam abuses Dean. No demon!sam, power!sam, robo!sam, boyking!sam, possessed!sam, lucifer!sam, vessel!sam, shifter!sam, not-sam, ect. Just Sam, pre-series would be fantastic but any timeline is cool. There can be someone find out and help him (maybe John or Bobby) or not.

2. Sam or John calling Dean's work (his drawing, his handmade machine...) trash and throw them away.
For example: "How I Know Your Brother", "Secrets Kept, Secrets Found", "Trash"

3. Both Sam and John abuse Dean. I would prefer non-sexual abuse but sexual abuse is okay too.
for example: "Sweet Sixteen", "Toy Verse"

Hope that lucky will come to me xD Thank you!
Sam/Dean, John/Dean, Dean/OMC are welcome but I can only take bottom!dean.
21 May 2014 @ 08:57 pm
I had this on my list of things to read and now I can't find it. What I can remember of the summary, Cas is now god and the other gods and goddesses from other pantheons are trying to curry favor with him. Cas requests the help of one goddess (I can't remember her name. Sorry) to train his new slave, which just so happens to be Dean. Set as and AU after the events of the season 6 finale.

If this sounds even vaguely familiar, please let me know. And heads up, I'm not 100% sure on all of my tags. Some are just assumptions due to the outline of the fic.

05 May 2014 @ 08:43 pm
Summary: Sam is 20 Dean is 16. so the roles are reversed, Sam went off to college at 18 and left Dean behind with John who verbally abuses Dean until Sam comes back 2 years later.

It was titled Damaged and it was on fanfiction.net but now I can't find it.  The link I have is broken.  Does anyone know where else I can find this fic?  On another site or maybe a PDF version?  I believe the story was around 7000 words long.
Well, yeah, it's me again with hurt!dean :)) And this time I'm looking for things like:

1. Sam and/or John use Dean as bait. Bonus point if it's because of Dean's appearance. Dean might get hurt or not.
2. Dean dating both Sam and John. Not threesome because Dean hid it from them.
3. Sam learns about John/Dean. I have already read Surrogate verse.
4. Dean stands up against John for Sam. This can lead to John abuse Dean or not. But please no hurt!sam and abused!sam of any kind.
5. Sam realizes how self-sacrifice Dean is. Bonus point if Sam found out Dean had been sacrificing for him when he was a kid (like giving food - examples, taking punishment - example ect) and feel guilty.
6. teen!chester with annoying, selfish Sam and hurt!dean, bonus point if no one cares.

Thank you :x Gen, Wincest and Daddycest are accepted.
Please no abused!sam of any kind.
Does anyone know any stories (preferably pre-series, but not necessary) that have Dean being abused, but instead of reacting to it with (overt) depression or fear, he reacts with anger and aggression, even turning into a bully/abuser himself?

Abuser can be anyone but John and Sam.

I'd love if Sam and John suddenly don't recognize 'their' Dean anymore. With John maybe initially blaming it on a phase, e.g. puberty, until they find out the real reason. No mean!John, please.

The abuse can be of any kind. Gen or pairings, either is fine.

Thank you :)
18 April 2014 @ 01:04 am
I have been looking for this one particular fic for a long time. I have looked through the tags and haven't found the specfic one. It had multiple chapters.

Dean was kidnapped (can't remember if by humans or demons, thinking more demons) he is raped and beaten, made to think his family is causing it (They manipulate John's voice somehow). Sam 'buy's him from the slave dealer and takes him back to bobbies. Dean is broken and just as any slave would be.

I hope this makes sense. I remember it so vividly! 
14 April 2014 @ 02:15 pm
Are there any fics where sam says yes to lucifer and physically hurts dean(not sexually). I mean like tortures him or just sam torturing dean. I'll accept anything.
13 April 2014 @ 01:28 pm
In this story, Dean is beaten and kidnapped outside a bar (betrayed by a redheaded female truckdriver, if memory serves), then taken to a secret location where he is traumatized into becoming a submissive sex slave and taught that he is no one, nothing (captors do their best to wipe his memory of past life). Sam eventually finds him and poses as a wealthy investor looking to buy one of the sex slaves (Dean). Eventually they escape, destroying the 'training school' in the process, but then there's all that submissive training to undo in Dean's head.

Should have bookmarked this story - didn't. Any direction is much appreciated.

FOUND (see comments): Phantisma's Broken!verse - on her LJ page or on AO3 (members only).
12 April 2014 @ 09:12 pm
I just read a Master/Slave Dean/Gostiel fic and re-read 'Love the Way You Lie' on ff.net with Dean/Godstiel non-con until Dean figures out a way to get the souls out of Castiel and bring him back. Are there any other fics like this - where Cas absorbed the souls from Purgatory, became God!stiel and there was serious dub-con and non-con? There's another one that I read where God!stiel stalks Dean's dreams and tricks him into thinking there's a Castiel left to save. I'd prefer a "happy" ending (as happy as one can be given the situation) with Destiel getting back together.

AND, any fics that go AU after Dean was bitten by Eve? Maybe he becomes a monster or the new mother of monsters? Destiel preferred!
I'm looking for three stories. Maybe you guys can help me...

1) The first story is Wincest. Sam and Dean live in the Men of Letters bunker. Dean has a beard. Sam wants him to shave it off, because he looks like John and it's just weird when they are in bed together.
Edit: FOUND! Links in comments

Becaus of possible triggers I put the next two requests under a cut:
Read more... )

Any ideas where I can find these stories?
Sorry for the mistakes, English ist not my first language ;)

Thanks in advance!

Edit: All three stories found in record time!!! Thank you so much!

Not looking for anything specific... just new fics with:
- John being an asshole / horrible father.
- Dean falling apart after Sam leaves.
- Hurt/Sick/Depressed Dean

I would prefer wincest (Sam/Dean) - No John/Dean unless it's included in a dub-con/non-con situation which would go with John being an asshole.
(* Although just Gen fics are fine too!)

Anything where Dean shows up bloody or battered at Sam's door or where someone calls Sam and he finds out how bad Dean really is since he left.
I feel like Dean is (despite his anti-chick flick attitude) a total nurturer and would probably be lost for what to do with himself after Sam is gone.

TLDR; Pre!Series/ Stanford-Era Hurt-comfort with Sam and Dean and maybe some asshole!John.

:P Just another excuse for Dean whumpage.
Current Mood: probably too many tags sorry x)
05 February 2014 @ 05:51 pm
I am really hoping someone can help me locate this fic. I tried posting this before several months ago and no luck. I’ve added and changed a few things in this post to hopefully jog someone’s memory. I would really appreciate any assistance in locating this fic. Thank you.

Dark!Sam - self-loathing Dean (still not found) )

affliction: alcoholism, attribute: evil!sam, attribute: dark!sam, attribute: possessive!sam, attribute: jealous!sam, attribute: protective!sam, attribute: stalker,

genre: hurt/comfort, genre: au, genre: dark!fic, genre: dean chooses sam, genre: angst, genre: wincest, genre: ust; position: bottom!Dean; pairing: dean/sam, character: dean, character: sam,

warning: attempt at suicide, warning: non-con, warning: abused!dean (sexual), warning: abused!dean (physical), warning: abused!dean (mental), warning: abused!dean (emotional), attribute: sam's point of view
23 December 2013 @ 05:56 pm
I have an unusual request. Now normally I tend to read gen stories but I've always been a huge slash fan. For this request, I'd like good Jensen/Dean bottom stories. Um to be more specific, I'm looking for stories where he thinks he's a top but turns out to really like being the bottom. So bottoming for the first time recs really. Top This by leonidaslion http://archiveofourown.org/works/181717 is a good example if it helps. It's wincest in case anyone was wondering. My favorite pairings are wincest, j2, destiel, jensen/misha and I don't mind wincest/castiel, j3, or j2/misha either.

I'm also looking for very good rape aftermath/recovery stories (with Dean/Jensen being the victim only please). I'm really strict in that request. Only Dean/Jensen. Thanks.

Now I don't mind top!dean or top!jensen stories so long as the plot focuses on him more. Like Monster and the sequel to it Not Waving But Drowning by [livejournal.com profile] redrum669. http://redrum669.livejournal.com/7862.html

The final request I have is somewhat like the first one but a bit more specific still. I'd like it so that Jensen/Dean are strong characters at first like how he is in the series, where he takes care of everyone. Then something happens that makes him changed. Like in The Doors of Time by [livejournal.com profile] felisblanco http://felisblanco.livejournal.com/1090487.html or [livejournal.com profile] meus_venator's Prime
http://archiveofourown.org/works/304757/chapters/487269. ObsidianRomance's Follow You Down http://archiveofourown.org/works/998452/chapters/1976485

I hope I've been specific enough and that people have some recs I haven't already read before. If it helps I probably haven't read as much livejournal stories I have on AO3. Thank you guys!
24 November 2013 @ 09:21 am
HELP! I am looking for a story that can be one of many pairing. The only that I am sure of at this point is that it had Jensen or Dean in it. I believe that Jensen was an ex-convict. I am not sure exactly what he did, I do know that he was fasely accused (at least I think so...) He is on probabtion when he gets back and police officers or his probabtion officers are complete dicks to him and make his life a living hell. I am not sure of the pairing, but I know there was mpreg and jared or misha (sam or castiel) had a child by jensen/dean and the police officers will not allow him to see his partner (whom he may or may not be in a relationship with) or his child. Basically there is a hurt jensen fest! <3 I do know for a fact that there was a few sex scenes in there and they were top jensen/ or dean. I also believe that Jensen/Dean was older than the person he was in a relationship with. (sorry if my tags maybe incorrect)
This is my first fic search so apologies for any slip ups (also, sorry to the mods as in my first attempt at this I forgot to add a title :/)

1. Sam finds out that Dean was abused at the hands of their father John. It can be any type of abuse and any rating. The abuse can be set in the past or currently and Sam can find out when they're older or younger and after it's happened or while it's actually happening (John can be dead or alive). Some protective Bobby thrown into the bargain would also be nice. I don't mind whether it's wincest, weecest or just some good brotherly love.

2. Castiel finds out that Dean was abused at the hands of his father John. It can be any type of abuse and any rating. Bonus points for protective and even slightly angry Cas. It can be Destiel or just friendship.

3. And to make up for all the abusive John fics: A potentially funny fic where John and/or Bobby meet Castiel and make reference to Dean and Cas being together. They can be teasing one or both of them or they can genuinely believe that they're together. Sam getting involved into the bargain would be fantastic! Dean and Cas can be already romantically involved or it can happen as a result at the end or they can just be two very confused friends.
17 August 2013 @ 02:02 pm
Ok here goes... I was wondering if there are any stories out there where Dean is so messed up mentaly,abused by John that he believes that when John says that he is supposed to look after Sammy and provide everythin for him. He meant everything...

what I mean is this Sam comes out he&#39;s a teenager abour 17 and dean becomes panicked that sam will meet some guy and leave the family so straight dean suduces sam and becomes his boyfriend out of misguided family loyalty..&nbsp; sam finds out and leaves for Stanford.please help if there is something like this.
So I'm very new to this fandom, and looking for a few types of fics that interest me based on what I've seen so far - the core of which boils down to, "Dean Winchester is so very pretty when he's hurt/scared/crying/suffering." Here's specifically what I'm looking for, if anyone can help:

Cut for reference to non-con and violence... )
Thanks so much!!!
02 August 2013 @ 08:40 am
I am looking for any fanfics where Dean abused by John and runs away.  Simple as that!  Send me all of your recs!
26 July 2013 @ 04:44 pm
Re-posing to specify.

I'm searching for a SUB-STORY within [livejournal.com profile] leonidaslion's Suite!Verse. The verse consists of 21 stories, but I'm looking for a specific one, and as it's been ages since I last read it, I can't remember the title.

That particular installation (or at least part of it) was mainly about Sam trying to break Dean...probably because he did something that Sam felt he had to be punished for. Sam chose to attack Dean emotionally/verbally/mentally-- you get the idea. He completely tore Dean apart by verbally flaying him. He threw all of Dean's failures, mistakes, and fears in his face relentlessly, and I'm pretty sure Dean ended up curling into ball and crying. I also think that Sam might have tried comforting him at the end of it? Not sure.

That's the only thing I remember about that particular story. That and the fact that it was absolutely horrible to read. I only ever cry for character deaths, but Sam's verbal abuse was so painful and Dean's agony was so palpable that I ended up bawling for ages. I think that scene belongs to one of the first ten stories of the 'verse, but I can't be sure.

Anyway, I'd be seriously grateful if someone could help me out. I've tried skimming through all of the sub-stories , but I can't find it. Thanks in advance.

Mod: I already know where the 'verse is located. The 'verse, however, contains numerous stories, and I'm looking for the title of a specific one. Thanks.