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sixstringloaded.livejournal.com
[spnstoryfinders]
17 February 2015 @ 01:26 pm
Suicidal/self-harm!Dean / depressed!Dean / low self-esteem!Dean fic?  
Hi everyone!
I've been looking through the suicidal tag and I gave up for like 2 pages, cuz they're ALL suicidal!Sam. So I decided just to try my luck here...

I'm looking for stories where Dean is suicidal for whatever reason(Sam leaving him, feel unworthy, being tortured/raped, etc), and he tries to hurt or kill himself and Sam or John or whoever finds out about it and feels guilty or something like that.

I prefer gen fic and stanford!era, or stories set in the first few seasons, but other eras are OK. If the fic has slash content I'd love it features a bottom!Dean. I love long fics, so that I can cry over and savour Dean's pain. ;)

Bonus if the person finds out about it feels super guilty (cuz they are neglecting Dean or something they've done hurt Dean very very badly) and becomes super protective over Dean.
Bo-bonus if the fic also has some delicious hurt!Dean. Cuz Dean is so beautiful when he's broken. XD

Hope I can get manysome recs. ><

Thanks in advance!
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[identity profile] skeletncloset.livejournal.com on February 17th, 2015 11:50 pm (UTC)
Have you read this? Plenty of hurt Dean. It's pretty graphic so mind the warnings. It's over 300K.
Bright Lights of Disturbia (http://archiveofourown.org/works/181007)
[identity profile] charliebleecker.livejournal.com on February 18th, 2015 03:52 am (UTC)
i second this really fucking hard. pretty much anything by leonidaslion is gonna get you good and hard. even when dean isn't all-out suicidal, 95% of her fics feature a self-loathing dean who feels completely worthless. definitely worth checking out her page on ao3.
[identity profile] sixstringloaded.livejournal.com on February 24th, 2015 12:11 pm (UTC)
I'm a huge fan of Leonidaslion and I absolutely loooove Disturbia!!! I've read almost all her works, they are all so amazing!
(Anonymous) on February 18th, 2015 03:33 am (UTC)
Nobody talks about the elephant in the room (http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/89363.html?thread=34999571#t34999571), by [livejournal.com profile] szarabasjka
filled for the kinkmeme
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(Anonymous) on February 18th, 2015 09:13 am (UTC)
these only meet your 'suicidal dean' criteria, but they are both great stories, they are slash with bottom dean

pretty tiger (http://archiveofourown.org/works/549058)

not meant to be (http://archiveofourown.org/works/2309393)
(this one is abo, but sex isn't a big part of it. this is definitely suicidal dean. actually, I think you might like this one with neglectful sam/guilty sam).

they are both winceset

I have more hurt dean/bottom dean stuff, but these are the closest to suicidal dean on my bookmarks)
[identity profile] sixstringloaded.livejournal.com on February 24th, 2015 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the recs!!!! I'll check 'em up immediately.
p.s. I'm equally into hurt dean/bottom dean stuff, too! ;)
[identity profile] samaya256.livejournal.com on February 20th, 2015 08:00 am (UTC)
I have a self rec if you are interested.
Metamorphosis (http://archiveofourown.org/works/2289635/chapters/5034008)

Dean feels unworthy throughout the story and he is definitely suicidal even if he doesn't act on it. Overall hurt!dean in general.
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