The fic I'm looking for explored Dean's relationship with alcohol. It was a sensationally good character study, so it's killing me that the only semi-specific thing I can remember is that Dean started drinking basically to keep John company from a young age--starting when Dean's 14, I want to say. It showed how that emotional/chemical abuse was still affecting Dean years later.

Alas, that's all I can be reasonably sure of, and even that much isn't very specific. Other traits that I think the fic had:
- I believe it was gen, but it could have been Wincest.
- I believe it was a post-S5 Dean recalling those times with John rather than being set pre-series (but I can't even swear to that /o\).
- I think I read it on AO3.

Does this ring a bell for anyone? I have clear memories of being set back on my heels by the quality of the writing and of the characterization, yet none of anything that's led me to success in searching for it.