I am looking for stories where Sam's desire for atonement is a major theme. It can be atonement for releasing Lucifer, or for anything else, really. Further, I want stories where whatever Sam is thinking or doing is not immediately apparent to Dean (So, no stories where Sam outright asks Dean to punish him). Self-harm is always welcome, but really I am thinking of more subtle things, like Sam denying himself food or comfort or medical care, and Dean taking a while to catch on. I suppose there is a lot of overlap here with guilty!sam, but if you've ever read either When It Was Over by Faye Dartmouth or Atonement by ameliacareful, hopefully you'll know what I mean.

Any length (the longer the better), any season, gen or slash.