Help! I can't find four stories that I loved and I need help.

1. The first one I'm looking for is J2'd crack!fic. In it Jared is a complete and utter sociopath. He hates his dogs(their just a good photo op), he kicks Sandy out of his apartment when their done with sex, he seduces Jensen into having sex and gets bent out of shape when Jensen goes all 'Christian' on him and dumps him. The end of the fic has him thinking that he'll go home and kick his dogs...or run them over because he can.

2. The second is Jared and Jensen realizing that they're into one another, but good old Jared he decides that he wants to bottom 1st in the relationship. The problem is that he's never done it before and Jensen's never topped, but Jared's a man with a plan: a box of size graded buttplugs! The fic counts off the days as he goes up size by size and all the mishaps and...*cough* moments that happen. It's kind of crackish, but pretty hot, too.

3. The next is a fic where Sam's out drinking and brooding by himself. He has total unrequited sexual feelings for Dean, who's totally oblivious. Sam sees Jensen drinking in a bar and picks him up(he knows its not Dean, but he doesn't care) and takes Jensen to a motel and they have sex. Um...it's very graphic, if you've read it you'll remember the fisting. *blushes*

4. I love spn mpreg, that and zombies, I don't know why. Anyway, the mpeg that I'm looking for starts off when Dean rubs this Native American fertility statue, thinking it's hokie. Well much to his chagrin Sam promptly knocks him up. It's a wip and eventually they find Scully and Mulder, Scully acts as Dean's doctor. John's around and after a freak out supportive. Later on down the road, Sammy goes to rub the statue and yup, they have another one. It's funny and really sweet, I'd love to read it again.

If anyone knows any of the four above, I'd love a link. Thanks to everyone ahead of time.

ETA: All four stories have been found and the links are in the comments. Thanks to everybody that responded