Hi everyone, this is my first post here,I hope I'll do it right. 
I have two requests

1) fics that deal with the aftermath of abuse dean/sam or J2 . Please <i>no</i> Destiel. 

2) This is a specific fic that I read two years ago and I can't find, it was a gen fic, set in Season 2 after Heart and it became AU. After the events of Heart Dean and Sam took time off, to deal with the aftermath of Sam killing Madison. The scene I remember the most is Sam saying to Dean that he understood now why he was so hesitant to say yes to his request to killing him and Dean angrily telling him that the two things didn't even compare or something to this effect. 

Thank you in advance!

To the mods: I added all the tags I could think of!!:)