Okay, so a while ago I was randomly reading some Sam death fics on FF.net when I stumbled across two specific ones that I really loved. I had them saved and bookmarked on my laptop but due to technical issues I had to have it wiped and could not retrieved my saved data :(. I remember little bits and pieces about them but not a ton so forgive me if my memory is crappy and gets something wrong.

1) The first one was kind of a long fic. I think it started off just after Sam had risen Lucifer and was freaking out at him by drinking heavily. Dean and him had gotten into a fight earlier -that Dean was having flash backs of- and ignoring Sam because he was still pissed. Dean goes to bed and Sam ends up stabbing himself to death in the stomach when a voice in his head -Dean's I think- tells him he wishes he was dead and then Sam ends up in hell. That's just the first chapter I think but I'm wondering if this is ringing any bells? Thanks!

2) The second one was really beautifully written and melodramatic in a way that is actually pretty believable for Supernatural, lol. I think it was set after their dad had died and Sam was upset that Dean wouldn't talk about his death. Sam keeps pushing about the subject until Dean flips out and punches Sam and bitches about how much pressure he had put on him and how he was the better son. Sam freaks out and runs away to clear his head but gets hit by a car and left on the side of the road to die. Dean shows up later looking for him I think and finds him. Sam comes back as a ghost if I remember right. I don't remember for sure if this was a one shot or a two part fic but I think it was two parts. Any ideas? :) Both fics were general and completed I believe.

BOTH FOUND IN COMMENTS

Thanks a ton to everyone who helps!