yo, hi friends, i'm on a quest for a bit of angst.

what i'd really like is fics that involve sam having a quiet crush on cas. it honestly doesn't even have to be sexual/romantic -- i'd just really like something that emphasizes sam's perception of castiel as a righteous figure, an angel, a vessel of god, etc... and comparatively, himself as an abomination, "the boy with the demon blood."  would very much like sam's complicated feelings about uncleanliness and wanting to be saved manifesting as worship-turned-crush.

no preference as to how it ends, so long as there's a nice chunk of ouch along the way. like, for example, endgame dean/cas is totally fine, so long as sammy spends some time feeling like a tiny turd about their ~more profound bond.

extra special bonus points for subtle or unmelodramatic sadness! quiet acceptance of shitty feelings is really what gets me in the gut. i've read balder12's MAGNIFICENT "still raining, still dreaming" already, and would appreciate anything along those lines.

thanks in advance!