02 December 2015 @ 11:16 pm
lf specific fic: Hurt Sam, hiding it from Dean and Gen stories of Sam being suicidal or mentally ill  
First of all the one I'm looking for is NOT Matching Weights.

In the story the boys have finished a hunt and they get hurt. Sam of course doesn't tell Dean and it gets worse after they go to another hunt. I think Sam was hurt on the abdomen area. Sam then asks Dean for some cash and Dean only gives him a twenty saying that's all he could spare. Sam then walks to a free clinic and meets a doctor who thinks Sam's being abused. He then recommends he goes to the hospital. He takes the taxi because he's tired. At the hospital, the doctor tells Sam to rest and gives him prescription pills to help with the pain. When Sam goes to buy them he finds out he doesn't have enough money so buys the strongest over the counter medicine instead. He gets home and Dean thinks Sam's being mopey or lazy and gets mad that Sam hasn't helped with the current hunt. Then he finds out Sam's hurt and does what he can to help him. There's a scene where Dean calls the doctor in the hospital and finds out that Sam needs a few weeks rest. Then Dean goes to buy the medication feeling bad for not giving Sam the money he asked earlier and that the medicine was a little over twenty dollars. Dean makes Sam rest until he gets better.

I keep reading this story and forgetting the title so if someone would be so kind to tell me the title I'd greatly appreciate it.

Also any stories where Sam is suicidal, has a mental disorder, eating disorder, low self esteem or selective mutism that'd be nice. I don't care if it's slash or not if there's rape or any other stuff in it. One thing though is if it is slash I prefer bottom!Sam but it isn't necessary.

Thank you in advance.
 
 
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[identity profile] chellexxx.livejournal.com on December 3rd, 2015 09:42 pm (UTC)
Sounds like Shared Burdens (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3636668/1/Shared_Burdens) By kokoda2007
After a hunt ends badly, Dean shuts Sam out emotionally. Wrapped up in his own problems, Dean's not aware that Sam was injured during the hunt and now needs his help. Hurt limp Sam. Protective Dean

I love hurt Sam and i have a tonne of links at my Delicious (https://delicious.com/chellexxx1/hurt!Sam)account if you fancy a browse?

xxx
[identity profile] waya98.livejournal.com on December 5th, 2015 07:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your help
That was it thank you so much. I am constantly on your Delicious account I think it's awesome.
[identity profile] chellexxx.livejournal.com on December 6th, 2015 12:11 pm (UTC)
RE: Thank you for your help
Thank you, glad you like it. :)

xxx
[identity profile] elwarre.livejournal.com on December 4th, 2015 12:47 am (UTC)
mental disorder

Further and Further Out (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3740163/1/Further-And-Further-Out) and Rearrange Me til I'm Sane (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3956847/1/Rearrange-Me-til-I-m-Sane) by cottonmouth: "John never disappeared before the pilot episode, so Dean never went to Stanford to find Sam. Two months later and they discover the demon went after Sam after all." (I know this is Sam/Dean, but I have no idea who tops/bottoms, sorry)

The Holy Trinity (http://checkthemargins.livejournal.com/4991.html) by checkthemargins: "Prompt: Sam is compensating for having Lucifer in his head by going into hyperfunctional mode. I want to see touches of Mystery Spot OCD Sam: hospital corners, perfect efficiency, everything under control, everything in place. It works. He still hallucinates, but he can keep going through it, he can wall himself off from being affected by fear of his breaks with reality and by the trauma of the things he remembers and hallucinates. He just has to keep going further and further into his coping mechanism, because if it breaks it will all come crashing down and that will not be good." (Sam/Dean, bottom!Sam)

The Three Faces of Sam (http://archiveofourown.org/works/899920/chapters/1739510) by brightly_lit: "Sam wakes up with amnesia after Cas takes down his mental wall, so he goes to a local hospital clinic for help where he gets treated by Dr. Gregory House, who gives him a new diagnosis: multiple personality disorder." (gen)

This is the Sun Gone Down (http://fourfreedoms.livejournal.com/120803.html) by fourfreedoms: "The blood of a demon made Sam, but it can also save him. A story of one out of many, and the slow slide into love. AU." (Sam/Dean; I think the first story is non-explicit, but the sequel is top!Sam)

The Other Brother (http://kettle-o-fish.livejournal.com/57817.html) by kettle_o_fish: "Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased." (gen; sequel here (http://kettle-o-fish.livejournal.com/67198.html))

and two where Sam is believed to have a mental illness, both of which also include some mute!Sam: Hold Me Close and Believe (http://meh-forget-it.livejournal.com/134419.html) by meh_forget_it (Sam/Gabriel) and Undone By Dreams (Can You Fix Me?) (http://firesign10.livejournal.com/1274240.html) by firesign10 (Sam/Dean; I don't think there's an explicit top/bottom).
[identity profile] elwarre.livejournal.com on December 4th, 2015 12:47 am (UTC)
mute!Sam

Facta non Verba (http://archiveofourown.org/works/686628) by dimeliora: "Dean is ten when Sam stops speaking, and the rest is up to him." (Sam/Dean; switching)

I'd Gladly Lose Me to Find You (http://flawedamythyst.livejournal.com/366852.html) by flawedamethyst: "Sam takes a vow of silence in order to pull Dean out of Hell, but by the time Dean comes back, Sam's lost more of himself than just his voice." (Sam/Dean; switching)

That Thing That's Golden (http://kellifer-fic.livejournal.com/287380.html?format=light) by kellifer_fic: "Dean's not sure how, but he can tell even though Sam speaks with only his hands, when his brother is being sarcastic." (Sam/Dean; bottom!Sam)

The Way Back (http://archiveofourown.org/works/488010) by rainylemons: "AU in which Dean gets between Lucifer and Cas, preventing Castiel’s death and eventual return to full-blooded angelhood. In the following months, a mostly human Cas gets a job at Taco Bell, Dean recovers from wounds given to him by Lucifer, and a silent, shell-shocked Sam wanders in from the cold." (gen)

Renovation Verse (http://archiveofourown.org/series/10459) by de_nugis: "Dean obsesses about Sam's hands, and there is fixage." (Sam/Dean; mostly bottom!Dean, some switching)

In the House on the Corner (http://archiveofourown.org/works/820449/chapters/1554128) by erinismagic: "In the old house on the corner, there lived a man...." (gen; this one is heartbreaking - take the warnings seriously)

Teacher's Pet (http://jcrgirl.livejournal.com/20138.html) by jcrgirl: "Sam is kidnapped and the hunting community, headed by Dean and John, band together to find him. Four days after he's taken, Sam stumbles out of the woods beaten, bruised and broken and reminds Dean and John that not all evil is supernatural." (Sam/Dean; I think bottom!Sam, but I'm not sure; heed the warnings on this one)

The Child Corrupted (http://archiveofourown.org/works/523986) by lexicale: "Sam grew up in Master Azazel's house -- he doesn't know any different kind of world. When a hunter named Dean Winchester frees him, he doesn't even know that he's free. In his mind, he merely has a new master. Dean, of course, is oblivious." (Sam/Dean; I think bottom!Sam, but I'm not sure; again, check the warnings)

eating disorder

There were some recced here (http://spnstoryfinders.livejournal.com/9963292.html) recently.
[identity profile] elwarre.livejournal.com on December 4th, 2015 12:47 am (UTC)
low self-esteem

I have a bunch like this saved here (https://delicious.com/elwarre/fandom%3Aspn,self_loathing). There are a handful of stories on the list where Dean's the one struggling, but since I'm a hurt!Sam kinda girl, most of them are Sam-centric. Some faves:

A recent one that I really loved - Revelations (http://archiveofourown.org/works/5196578) by semira: "After that last scene with Sam in 11x06, Castiel discovers the younger Winchester, panicked and confused from his visions. Sam shares what's been happening to him lately and what he went through while Cas was away." (gen; spoilers through 11x06)

Whole (http://archiveofourown.org/works/968398) by steeplechasers: "Sam has only one rule, really, when it comes to sex. Lights off." (This is Sam/OFC, which may or may not be your thing, but I love the author and this story is excellent)

Pneumonia/Breakdown Verse (http://archiveofourown.org/series/16464) by checkthemargins: "It's dangerous, being happy, waiting for it all to slip away." (Sam/Dean; switching)

Lost Time Verse (http://archiveofourown.org/series/37316) by dimeliora: "Sam Burton has an average life, a foul-mouthed sister, and a dream of putting his past behind him. All of that changes when Dean Winchester comes to stay." (AU Sam/Dean; switching; one of the best OCs that I've read)

Between the Lines of Fear and Blame (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5354065/1/Between-the-Lines-of-Fear-and-Blame) by faye_dartmouth: "In the hunt for Lucifer, Sam is hurt and Dean has to embark on a quest to find his brother in more ways than one." (gen)

If you don't mind complete AUs where sibling incest is treated more realistically and less fairy-tale-happy-ending-ly (don't get me wrong; I love fairytale Wincest as much as the next girl), you might enjoy safiyabat's Take Me Back (http://archiveofourown.org/works/4241112/chapters/9595779): "On Nov. 2, 1983, Mary Winchester died defending her infant son Sam during a riot. Her grief-stricken husband, Dr. John Winchester, took the family on the road, vowing that no one would ever die in an underserved area because of lack of medical care again. He raised his sons to be field doctors as well, but when Sam didn't toe the line he was disowned. 31 years later, Dean is Boston's top trauma surgeon. An FBI agent is fished out of Boston Harbor with a bullet in his shoulder. When the blood and harbor grunge are cleared away, Dean recognizes his patient: the prodigal son, Sam. This is the story of how two brothers cope with the relationship they had, and figure out what kind of relationship they want now." (Sam/Dean; I'm pretty sure it's all bottom!Sam)

Baba O'Riley and Eleanor Rigby Walk Into a Bar (http://sammehsayum.livejournal.com/4122.html) by sammehsayum: "AU: Mary never died and if the supernatural exists, it leaves the Winchesters alone. When Dean Winchester was four years old he almost lost his younger brother for the first time to a fire. When Dean Winchester was eighteen he almost lost his brother a second time to a full bathtub and a pack of sleeping pills, citing some decidedly unbrotherly feelings in his suicide note. At twenty-two he's about to lose him for a third time to Stanford University. He and Sam's therapist sit down and talk out the chain of events leading up to and proceeding after what Dean considers to be the worst day of his life. He figures out a few things along the way." (Sam/Dean; bottom!Sam)

This Kid's Not Alright (http://archiveofourown.org/works/3210722/chapters/6984416) by safiyabat: "What exactly did Sam get up to at Bobby's while Dean was at Sonny's? When John makes a very odd request of the older hunter, Bobby takes the boy into his home for a few months. It isn't an easy time for either of them." (gen)
[identity profile] elwarre.livejournal.com on December 4th, 2015 12:48 am (UTC)

Remove all the Pieces One by One (http://archiveofourown.org/works/824468) by blue_jay: "Sam Winchester has never been clean." (Sam/Dean; bottom!Sam)

Get Hurt (http://safiyabat.livejournal.com/6871.html) by safiyabat: "I'm going to go get my brother some cholesterol. And then I'm going to go get drunk." (gen)

There's a Hole in My Life, I Wish I Could Fill It (With Anything But You) (http://archiveofourown.org/works/912645) by waterbird13: "Sam and Dean got together when Sam was sixteen, but Sam figures out pretty quickly that it's not exactly what he wanted. Sex can be used as a tool just like anything else can. When the world-saving fight is over, Sam still wants his brother, but knows he can never have him again. But when Dean asks to start their relationship again, Sam takes drastic measures to ensure what happened last time will never happen again. This story does deal with dubious levels of consent, but I promise you that by the end everyone is happy and enthusiastically consenting." (Sam/Dean; some switching, but mostly bottom!Sam)

The Worst Part of These Winters (http://faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com/69590.html) by faye_dartmouth: "Sam's always been the selfish one." (gen; dark - heed the warnings)

The World Devours Me (http://varkelton.livejournal.com/45647.html) by varkelton: "Dean thought he was doing the right thing when he let Sam walk away from hunting.....away from him. Sam thought the separation was nothing more than he deserved. They both thought Castiel had found a way to keep Lucifer from finding them. Neither one of them knew how wrong they really were. " (Sam/Dean; some switching but mostly bottom!Sam; LOTS of warnings)

And of course, dollylux's Invisible Boy (http://archiveofourown.org/series/129525) series, if you happen to have not read it yet.

(sorry this turned into the world's largest answer; I got a bit carried away. Hopefully some of these are new to you)
[identity profile] waya98.livejournal.com on December 5th, 2015 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the recs
Thank you so much for the recs I haven't read quite a few of these and I'm going to start right away.
Thanks again.