Hi, i read a story of sam when he was a teenager getting kidnapped by this creature who caught him and tortured him. He wrote on his thigh that he couldn't talk about it to anyone and that he liked pain instead of pleasure (not too sure if this is accurate). He cant say no to people and sleeps with anyone who asks whether he wants to or not.

When the creature has him, he sees dean walking away but doesn't say anything as he wants to protect him.

It ends up that a religious order have the answer but wont give sam the cure because he is seen as a sinner? I think it ends as Sam/Dean.

I really want to reread it hut cant remember the name of the fic.
Pleaee help me!