So... I'm a long time stalker of this community, and finally decided that it was wonderful enough I had to make an lj account so I could post to it. But, I'm new here, so be gentle with my mistakes? Just let me know and I'll correct them!
Anyway, I love angst, and I love Dean, and recently I've been craving a few particular brands of angsty Dean... I'd really like some fics where Dean bases all of his self-esteem on 1) hunting, and being John's soldier, and so when he fails, or things go wrong, his self-esteem plummets (not like he had much to begin with, either, if he's basing it off hunts), or 2) protecting Sam, and so he feels incredibly guilty whenever Sam is hurt, and hates himself for failing... Bonus points on this one if Dean believes Sam is better than him, and John's favorite, and that Sam should be John's favorite... even as he craves John's love and attention. Also, bonus points if Dean feels inferior to Sam because he doesn't think he's as smart as Sam!
The longer the fic, the better, in my opinion - I really, really love super long fics (50k+ is my preferred reading length, although I've read and like plenty of one-shots and short fics, too). Also, I'm not current on Supernatural - I was only introduced to it a few months ago, and so I'm only midway through season four (last episode seen was 4.17), and so please don't rec anything that would spoil anything further on for me!
On another note - I've read and loved In Shadow on fanfiction.net, but it's not complete there... does anyone know of a finished copy of it, or is it permanently on hiatus or such?
Thanks for helping me find wonderful fics!