03 September 2017 @ 11:34 pm
I folks! I was wondering if there are Sam-centric fanfics dealing with Lucifer in season 11 and 12.

I mean, I think those seasons had a lot of wasted potential and didn't deal well with Sam facing again his torturer. And also how it was so easy to built another vessel for him.

I want fanfics of season11-12 with Sam afraid of Lucifer, dealing with the trauma, maybe Lucifer playing with him, trying to manipulate him of trying to convince to be his vessel. I read a lot like that from season 5 (and I love them), but now I want them from seasons 11-12.

I don't care about pairings (except no Sam/Lucifer, unless it's non-consensual) but I want the characters to be well written and in-character. Bonus for protective!Dean.
I have no idea if I'm making any sense but thank you in advance!!
25 August 2017 @ 12:47 pm
I'm looking for fics about people think that dean is a veteran. Possibly because he has PTSD or something. Any paring is okay, but would love if it's Lisa/Dean, but would like the focus to be on Dean. Maybe he is trying to fit in a apple pie life.

Please give a description of the fic and what pairing is featuring.

Thanks in advance!
21 August 2017 @ 05:00 pm
I read a specific postcage Sam story and I can't find it anywhere. Basically, Sam is struggling with his PTSD and hallucinations post Hell. He researches ways to cope. He finds a post that says knitting is supposed to help. So he knitts whenever he can't sleep or is having a particularly hard time with Hallucifer. It's a great story and I'd love to read it again! Thanks!
05 August 2017 @ 01:36 pm
I'm looking for a story, I think it was eventually Destiel, where a young Omega Dean is kicked out/abandoned/or dumped by his pack/John, and found/taken in by Castiel and his pack. I'm 99% sure it was a Werewolf AU, and that Dean was an Omega, or possibly a sub? I remember Cas found him outside in the snow or something, badly injured? I think John had beaten him before abandoning him. I remember a scene where Cas brought Dean to someone to be healed, possibly Ellen? I'm pretty sure Dean was a teenager at the start of the story, and that Cas was the alpha of a large pack. It was quite a long story, possibly still a WIP, and I think it was on AO3. Thanks!
16 July 2017 @ 12:56 pm

Im looking for a specifc J2 fic where theyre in college together and in a relationship. Jensen wants to come out but Jared is afraid to. They havr a fight about it in a bar where Jared storms off. Some guys overhear the argument and attack Jensen. He ends up being very hurt and Jared hears about the attack on the news.

Jensen eventually recovers but now he is afraid to be public with their relationship when Jared has a change of heart.

Cant remember how it ends but if you know it, please tell me! I can't find it in my tags.
Is their any series were sam has asthma epilepsy or something alonf those lines. So john and dean has to baby him and look after him.

Also is there any stories were sam is tramatized and has night terrors and need consoling.
06 January 2017 @ 11:12 pm
I am looking for any fics where Sam has been kidnapped by someone and then when he is found, he has to go through some sort of therapy - physical therapy, counselling, things like having to learn something again - because of the trauma he went through during the time he was kidnapped or because of an injury. It is the aftermath that I am particularly interested in, and is why I am asking for something with Sam having to have treatment of a certain kind.

If anyone can recommend any fics, that'd be great. Thanks!
08 November 2016 @ 06:11 pm
Hello friends!

You have helped me in the past, and I hope you can help again! I just got back into Supernatural after a long they-did-what?!?! post season 6 hiatus, and am rewatching via Netflix. The bits I've gleaned about season 7 on have given me major Cas feels, but I don't want to be spoiled too much from the fics I read.

So here's what I'd like: does anyone know of fics that deal directly with trauma/depression/angst/general hurt after Cas is "dragged back to bible camp?" I adore "Needle and Thread" by Misato, and really anything that deals directly with or has allusions to what Cas was undergoing in 4x20 is fantastic. Slash (destiel always preferred!) and self-recs more than welcome!

The only specific request I have is that the fic have a happy ending!

Otherwise, do your worst! The tissue box is close by.

Thank you so much!

Current Mood: sleepy
Hi everyone. I'm looking for 8ne specific fic and then a sort of general type of fic.

The specific fic was Sam/Dean. They were together. Sam liked rough sex, always bending Dean over something or slamming him into walls, but Dean preffered gentler sex,he just wasn't able to tell Sam. I think they work it out. I'd like to find that story or anything like it.

I've recently read a couple of post-hell ptsd stories, one of them dealing with sex and Dean's (lack of) recovery from what he suffered in hell. I would love to read more, especially ones about his recovery and sex, but really any stories dealing with the aftermath.

I appreciate any help you can give ☺

Edit: the first one has been found, link in comments.
Looking for a fic where Sam and Dean are hunting a ghost. They call Bobby for info, and when he hears what town they're in, he rushes to join them. The boys don't remember being there before, but they were when John and Bobby were on a hunt. Flashback has a pedofile ghost going after Dean in their hotel room, because he's trying to protect Sam. He makes a deal that if he doesn't fight, he won't hurt Sammy. Dean doesn't remember it in the present, but Bobby suspected more happened than Dean admitted to at the time. Somehow, the ghost is back, maybe? I think they had to kill it again in the present. Any help? I wanna say the title is the name of the town, but I'm not certain. Gen fic, case fic.
looking for a specific fic i was sure i had kept :( dont remember title or author or even the story but it was quite long and well written on ao3 with dean and cas as fbi partners and i think roommates as well, dean suffered from ptsd as iraq/afghanistan war vet, i think they may be get married in the fic? crowley is with internal affairs and has to vet the relationship, bobby as the section chief thinks they're messing around and dean quits for like a day and everyone in the fbi, ash, victor, gabriel etc support them. i think sam is married to ruby but she cheated, and is now having a baby and isnt sure who's it is.
i really hope my garbled mess makes sense to someone to recognise, would love to find this again!!!
thanks for any help

edit-FOUND! download link in comment
I'm dying to read again an old fic I lost and cannot for the life of me find on google
- it was eventually Sam/Dean
- teen!Sam is kidnapped, tortured and rape by a supernatural creature
- Dean and John never knew he was kidnapped
- Sam is let go by the creature with a curse written in his inner thigh (or something like that I'm not sure) that cause him to constantly seek pain and sex and to be unable to say no
- to break the curse he has to find someone that knows about the curse and love him nonetheless but he can't reveal to anyone what happened
- I remember Sam had sex with a teacher, kissed for the first time a class mate, and met Jen in a bdsm club
- Dean finds out about the curse thanks to the ghost of another victim of the same creature
ETA: FOUND in the comments

And for the general search, I'm starving for Sam/Dean or Jensen/Jared fics
with sexually abused Sam or Jared (NOT by Dean or Jensen)
that focus on rape recovery
with Sam-Jared being insecure, having nightmares, PTSD (etc) and Dean-Jensen helping him
novel-length fics are better, but I'll read everything
AU or not AU is the same;
I feel like I've already read every single fic about this topic (including all the ones I could find here) so please help me out!
THANK YOU and sorry for any mistakes: english is not my first language!
I'm not looking for a specific fic. But any fic that has to do with Dean being traumitized from his time spent in Hell or Purgatory. It could be anywhere from being nonfunctional and not able to be left unsupervised to functioning but with severe PTSD. I really want to read about the emotional, physical, psychological effects of Hell or Purgatory on Dean.

Also they can be AU in that maybe Sam gets Dean out of Hell and angels aren't involved ot it can follow canon.

Also I'm good with both Wincest and Destiel, so if anyone knows any good fics I would be grateful!
25 July 2016 @ 10:32 pm
For some reason, I'm dying for fics where Dean is sent to a universe where the canon events haven't happened, or time-travels back to when he was younger, yet he still has all his memories. Also, does anyone know of some fics where Mary finds out what the boys have been through and doesn't react well to it? Basically any fics where alternate universe or pre-series Mary/John/Sam meet canon!Dean.

(In case you want examples, some really good ones that I've read so far are:)

If I Knew Then What I Know Now:
Given an opportunity to change his family's destiny, Dean Winchester finds himself back in 1983 as his four year old self, yet with his adult memories still intact. But can he alter the events of that tragic night? And if so, will young Dean, his family, and Castiel be ready to survive all the evil that destiny has in store for them?

The Best Years of Our Lives, My Ass:
Dean goes to sleep in a motel room in Texarkana, and he wakes up 17 years old, in his childhood bedroom in Lawrence, Kansas, 1996. He has no idea how he got there, why his parents are still alive, why his brother is an adorable freshman with no memory of his adult life, and why the only ally he has in this place is the angel he left behind in Purgatory – somehow also 17 years old.
05 June 2016 @ 12:26 am
Hello SPN friends! I was hoping you wonderful folks could recommend some stories where Jensen has scars and is self conscious of them. Perhaps he got them because of child abuse, or was in the military and captured and tortured, or they could be surgery scars or due to an accident. They can be anywhere on his body. Would love if the stories were also J2 and Jared tells Jensen he's still beautiful or that he's even more beautiful because of the strength he has for having gone through whatever caused the scars. Can be gen or J2. Please no WIPs.

Thank you in advance.
Current Music: Tennessee Whiskey, Chris Stapleton
Current Location: Bedroom
15 October 2015 @ 07:03 pm
Hey everyone!
I'm looking for fics that deal with PTSD in depth and will eventually be J2. I don't care how the PTSD develops (sexual assault, war related, etc...). No WIPs, please. Thanks in advance!
14 October 2015 @ 10:33 pm
So I have been looking for this fic for about 4 to 5 yrs. I have finally gotten frustrated enough to get over the fear and shyness of posting online and try and get help to find this fic. As I have only read it once and it was years ago I may be a bit vague on the details.
Anyway the fic was set during the apocalypse but Sam did not accept Lucifer and was saying no to do this Dean carved ruins into Sam's back. At the start of the story they were coming down from the mountains I think? It had something to do with Sam. Sam then saved a kid and Dean wondered why anyone would be scared of Sam. They later met up with a camp or refuge base where the others were wary of them. I do not believe the camp at first knew who they were. They bunked together in the same room and pushed the beds together but I think it was only for comfort I don't think it was slash.
Sam and dean then helped to fight the demons (?). One scene had them fighting together to show the rest of the camp how/ or what it was like and the camp was amazed at the brutal and efficient way they fought. They finally managed to kill Lucifer only the rest of the camp then thought Sam and Dean were dead as a building collapsed on them. The ending had them being seen in the mountains alive though.
From memory Sam was portrayed as traumatised and was very scary. Dean was the over protective big brother. So overall not much difference to many other fics there.
I think the fic was around or at least 100k.
Thanks in advance for any and all help :)

Ps. As this is my first ever post on LJ if I have done something wrong please let me know!

Found: Explaining is an Admission of Failure
1.) I'm looking for fics where Sam gets to observe Dean and Alastair's relationship (Gen or otherwise). Great examples of this are Amaresu's creepy stockholm syndrome fic These Bones of Mine and reapertownusa's whump-filled Through the Shadows of Hell.

2.) Fics that use a different interpretation of angels than they are in canon. For example, ones that don't take vessels, or act more in line with traditional Biblical depictions. (Meaning, I'm not looking for those AUs where angels are minor creatures on par with vampires, or Slave AUs, nothing like that.)

3.) Protective!Bobby on behalf of Dean. Somehow I haven't come across a lot of that??

4.) Preseries fics where Dean's more... Unpleasant fates/qualities (Alastair's apprentice, the Mark of Cain, etc) are hinted at or revealed, to the confusion of his family. Perhaps he's told his fortune, or comes under the effects of one of those many spells that are supposed to reveal or depend on innate qualities, or something that bares the soul. That kind of thing.

5.) Speaking of that, there's a specific fic I can't seem to find again where the boys find an artifact in the bunker (maybe it was a crystal ball?) and it shows them representations of their souls. I believe Sam was a tree and Dean was a dragon?

Gen for all of these, please, except for possible Dean/Alastair. I don't mind if they're just smaller events in larger fics.
20 August 2015 @ 10:36 am
So I'd like to ask for your help finding specific fic. The story is as far as I remember - Dean is ex-soldier with PTSD, Cas is his friend (also ex solider I think). As the story develops they start to live together and even get married and all the time Dean is in complete "no homo" denial. I loved the story and I know it's popular one - just cannot find it. Help please pretty please?
16 July 2015 @ 03:00 pm
so, i've been watching s6 again, and it got me thinking --- what if, as bobby put it, the "worst case" scenario had come to fruition? what if sam had come back as himself, with a soul, but just ... wrong? emotionally frigid, hyper-compartmentalized, or too damaged from the cage to know up from down, right from wrong?

i'm not looking for fic where sam comes back in obvious s7 type agony -- more like something canon compliant up until cas' soul fisting. baffled, f**ked up sam hearing that dean think he's a monster, aw yiss. i know i can't be the only one who's thought about this!

i would love love LOVE it if anyone pointed me towards fic dealing with this AU. anyone got info?  
I commented yesterday that I totally wasn't addicted to Post-Hell-Issues!Dean and could stop any time I wanted. I lied.

1. Fics where there is some kind of benefit to Dean's time in Hell, even if it isn't taken as one-- Demons, etc. being afraid of Dean, given his former status as Alastair's protégé; an unreasonable pain tolerance (I can so picture Sam or Bobby being really freaked out by this); using an "I've been to Hell and back" speech for intimidation (I've read a fic where Sam did this, and it was skull-shatteringly cool), and so forth.

(And ooh, what if even Ruby was on edge when it came to Dean?)

2. Given the sheer length of time he spent in the Pit, I'd wager Dean might have some trouble adjusting. Forgetting that torture isn't really acceptable topside? Having his time topside be a distant memory, so he'd have trouble recalling everything, even perhaps tingeing reunions with nostalgia?

3. I'm looking for just about any Harry Potter crossover that involves some sort of magical mishap delving into Dean's time in Hell. i.e., an Alastair boggart; an instance of legilimency gone horribly wrong; Crucio rendered laughable, etc. Even if it's just one scene in a larger fic. "Changing Circumstances" by EclipseWing did this well.

4. Okay, this one's a long shot. One of my favorite- but sadly abandoned- fics involved a Hell-traumatized Dean waking up in his teenaged body, and being unable to hide that fact from John and Sam. Another was written for the prompt, "Dean dreams of Hell. He is 10 years old." D'you see where I'm going with this?

I prefer no slash, but I could tough out minor Dean/Cas if it's reeeally good. (Dean/Alastair is okay, because I really wouldn't put it past the bastard.)
This is a weird request, I guess, but the kinkmeme got me thinking.

I'd like to read something dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic event. It can be a sexual or emotional abuse, it can be pretty much anything, as long as it focuses on the (immediate would be awesome) aftermath and it's portrayed in a realistic way. Wincest, J2, sabriel, and samifer are preferred, but I'm okay with any pairing, really. Gen and self-recs are welcome. Please, no evil!Sam/Dean/J1/etc manipulating the other.

The best example I can give is With Spit and a Prayer by Kroka-refur.

Thank you all in advance!
28 May 2015 @ 06:07 pm

Hello everyone!

I would like to read fanfictions with Sam dealing with Hallucifer.

The whumpier the better. It has to be followed by comfort from Dean though or it's not on ;)

Any rating!

Wincest or Gen, please <3

Thanks! ;)

30 April 2015 @ 10:44 pm
Hey Guys, I have two requests:
1.I'm looking for some fics that are similar to The Road Begins by ElvisRose
Where Dean already went to Hell whilst Sam was at Stanford. Castiel must be in it. So basically Dean gets sent to Hell and is rescued by Cas while Sam was at Stanford and Sam notices his brother isn't quite how he remembers what with the PTSD and all. Also if u haven't already I reccomend you read The Road Begins its so good :)

2. Any fics that Deans PTSD is featured in would be great. Be it PTSD from the military or Hell.

Pairings wise I'm up for both Gen and Destiel but absolutely no Wincest.

Thanks Guys
23 April 2015 @ 12:38 am
Hi, are there any stories about sam or dean having ptsd or ptsd symtoms and people think they are soldiers? It doesn't need to be from Hell or the Cage, I'm basically just after the ptsd part. I would appreciate some outsider pov so you can see/hear what others thinks about them. I prefer chapter stories, but it is okey with one-shot, and please give me a summery or some heads up, like if it's slash, het, gen or what character that is affected.
Thanks in advance.
I'm having a really hard time finding fics that deal with s8.

Mostly in that most I've seen give way too much sympathy for Sam abandoning Dean in Purgatory.

I'd just like to read something where Sam shows actual remorse, and that don't try to come up with excuses or make us feel sorry for Sam. I really don't want to see anything that gives Sam an excuse for behaving like an asshole, or that ignore the way he tried to blackmail Dean into shutting up. I just want to read something that has Sam facing up to what he put Dean through, without trying to make Dean the bad guy for reacting badly to the way Sam treated him.

Any pairing's fine, crossovers are a plus, and I would love a focus on Dean having PTSD from Purgatory

For the record, I prefer nothing that bashes Sam, I just don't want to see yet another story that completely ignores Dean's pain in order to come up with excuses for Sam's horrendous attitude.
I'd love a fic where Dean isn't all there when he crawls out of his grave... But that's okay, because strange things are happening around him, protecting him, and sometimes Dean thinks he can feel a strange presence... Protective/Guardian!Cas. Gen. Dean's affliction can be anything you want, but cookies if Dean is out of it enough not to be particularly concerned about The Thing, and Sam and Bobby have to pick up that slack.

Second, it would be wicked cool to read a fic where Dean actually did turn out to be one of those "special people" that can see and hear the true forms of angels like Cas was hoping.

Third! I want to see your favorite examples of great prose! Blow me away!

I wanna see your favorite monsters, too. I'd have to say mine is from Never Summer by ignipes.

Gen for all, but a little het won't kill me.
1) Past Abuse PTSD

Jumpy J1 or Sam/Dean from some form of past abuse (flinching, stuttering, anxiety)
With the other character figuring it out (h/c preferred).

2)  Social Anxiety
J1 or J2 have social anxiety - bonus for them being polar oposits socially.

3) Low self esteem

bonus for:
flinching, stuttering, anxiety, nervousness, h/c, a/b/o and mpreg.

(j2 or sam/dean) self recs are great.
18 March 2015 @ 12:36 pm

I'm still trying to recover some fics that I lost since changing computers a few times & they're older fics again, I'm pretty certain they're both from different series of fics, number 2 certainly is. If anyone can help I'd be really greatful:

1. The first one takes place after Sam had been kidnapped and tortured pretty badly I'm sure and Dean takes him to a hotel for a break and to recover. The specific fic I'm looking for I'm pretty sure begins with the door to their room being knocked and Sam wakes Dean up to answer it because he's still to scared to deal with people and he runs into the bathroom when Dean goes to answer the door. As the fic goes on there's a scene where Sam sits out on the balcony watching people on the beach and theres a crime scene there I'm sure at somepoint. They discover that theres a demon dgo (I think, but definitely some kind of creature) killing people and Dean goes to hunt it. I'm almost certain that when he doesn't return Sam fights his fears of leaving their room to go track him down.

2. This is definitely a series of fics. From what I can remember, and this may be pieced together from different fics in the series... Sam gets captured by a serial killer who I'm sure turns out to be demon. He's held in a basement along with another person (or people) and the killer/demon kills them first saving Sam for last. Dean is trying to find him and works with the police but the figures out where Sam is before them, when he gets there a fire breaks out in the basement and he fights to free Sam from the cage. The police interview him at Bobbys and he feels like they don't believe his story, Dean gets really protective of Sam in this one and makes them leave, at somepoint the demon shows up at Bobbys and the fight again. In another part of this Sam winds up in prison (maybe on false identity or on a case) and the demon, or someone who worships him is in the prison and finds Sam. Dean and a priest are fighting to get Sam out knowing that being there isn't doing him any good and when they try to break him out a fire starts again in the prison.

I've tried to be as detailed as I can with what I can remember from these fics, if anyone can help or knows them or something similar to my search then that would awesome, thanks!
1. I love M*A*S*H, but I've only ever come across three SPN crossovers- those lonely, woefully short two in the ff.net category, and a short snippet on Ao3 with vessel!Klinger. Gen or het, please- (We all know having both Hawkeye AND Dean in the same fic makes a story without womanizing a pretty hard bargain... :p) I prefer it to take place during, not after M*A*S*H, but I'll take anything you've got at this point.

2. tir_synni's Dream a Little Dream has given me a THIRST for fics where a fresh-outta-Hell-and-traumatized Dean is sent back in time to when he was still hunting with John and Sam, but it's abandoned, unfortunately, and I've not found anything like it. I'll take anything from h/c to 'holy shit why is Dean so ruthless all of a sudden'.

3. I'd really like to see John actually deal with a creature!Dean instead of, you know, just shooting him in the face. I like almost anything but werewolves, and vampires are loved. Non-evil!Dean, please. John-angst and h/c is what I'm after.

4. I want to see Dean transformed into something... Lovecraftian. Horrible, powerful, and not-quite-Dean; can't quite communicate properly anymore. The kind of thing that scares the shit out of you even when it's trying to "protect" you. It would be cool if it was either an unusual or unnamed monster. Maybe Dean's been missing and it turns out that this freaky thing that's been killing things/following Sam or whoever is actually Dean. (still gen, please...!)
29 January 2015 @ 03:14 pm
Hey guys, I've never posted here before but I thought I'd give it a try. A couple of days ago I read this really great Dean/Lisa Post-Apocolypse Fic where he's wasn't sleeping and in order for him to fall alseep Lisa sat him down in front of the cumpter and had him listen to YouTube vidoes...I don't remeber who this is by but if anybody knows where I can find it that would be awsome! Also anyother Dean/Lisa H/C recs that you have I'd love to read them.  Thanks and I hope everyone is having an awesome day. :) 
29 January 2015 @ 11:42 am
I remember pretty much everything about this fic since I read it several times, but I can't find it anymore. It's about how Jared's parents died when he was a kid and he went into the foster system, where he was abused by several different sets of foster parents. He then gets put into the care of the Ackles family, who work on a farm. I think it was split into two different parts, the first one with Jared settling into life on the ranch and getting caught in a flash flood after running away, and the second beginning with Jared attempting to kill himself after Jensen gets mad at him, finishing with him and Jensen finally becoming an official couple at the end around Christmas.
04 January 2015 @ 01:30 pm
Hello guys!

I'm trying to recall the title of a specific J2 fic and failing spectacularly. In the story, Jared fall upon hard times financially and moves into a big house with roommates Jensen, Danneel, and Misha. Jensen and Danneel are a couple in the story initially but they don't last long. After a while of living in the house, Jared realizes that something is off with Jensen and he finds out that he has multiple personalities - one being very flamboyant that also makes sure everyone knows about his attraction to Jared. There's another personality who's a bit more reserved and shy that I think had feelings for Misha. Danneel breaks up with Jensen after finding out that Jensen's personality was in control and slept with Jared. And I think Jared felt really guilty about it because he felt as though he raped Jensen since he wasn't in the frame of mind to give consent.

If anyone could help me find this awesome story again, I'd appreciate it greatly! :)
01 January 2015 @ 12:51 pm
A specific story I read early this autumn, probably on fanfiction.net. I believed I had it book marked, but......

After Hell Dean came back extremely sensitve to sounds and tastes. Sam handles this as best he can. I may mix this with other stories but I believe he was in contact with a scientist/scollar in Cascade, Washington. ;)

To deal with posttraumatic stress, Dean starts running. He finds a couple of boys that makes "traps" to catch joggers and makes a deal with them. They make the rout more exiting for him and stop bothering the other joggers. There is also an old lady with a nice garden. Dean sees that the plants haven't been watered one day, and finds her hurt? injured? ill? and calls for help, taking care of the garden while she is in hospital. She "pays" for his help by trying to fattening him up with pies and good homemade food.
I believe this was gen, but can't really remember.
24 November 2014 @ 08:29 pm

I feel like I've read all the good fan fics out there- I need help!

I'm looking for well-written multi-chapter, angsty, hurt!Dean fics with lots of brotherly love (AUs are my favorite- I like plot twists that take me by surprise!)

Please no angels, no destiel and no sexy business :P (doesn't have to be gen, just no sex scenes)

To make it easier for you, here are some specific things I'd like:

  1. Permanent injury

  2. Bullied!Dean, abused!Dean

  3. Weechesters

  4. Pre-series hurt!Dean

  5. Dean hiding injury or abuse

  6. Permanent injury due to torture

  7. PTSD (not hell related tho)

  8. Domestic fics

28 October 2014 @ 11:35 pm
Hey guys,

I'm looking for two specific fics I read a while ago:

1) Sam is at Stanford when he gets a call that he has a half brother (Adam) whose mom has died. Sam takes Adam in and takes care of him. Sam eventually gets sick and John and Dean come to the hospital where they find out about Adam. I think I read this fic on AO3, but I can't seem to find it.

2) Sam and Adam somehow escape the cage, but Sam comes back wrong. I remember Sam being almost incoherent and mentally unstable. Adam tries to take care of Sam and travels in search of Dean and Bobby. I also remember Adam feeling guilty because he thinks the reason Sam is mentally messed up is because Sam was trying to protect Adam while in the cage.

Thank you so much in advance for your help guys!
14 October 2014 @ 05:02 pm
hi! I'm making a general search for any fics with established Destiel where either Dean or Cas is sexually assulted, but the main point of the fic is them getting back to having sex or trying to have sex.

Self recs are always welcome and any other pairings are fine.
thanks xoxo
Current Music: cancer - my chemical romance
Current Mood: hopeful
03 October 2014 @ 12:04 pm
Hello everyone! I have a couple general requests I was hoping I could get some help with.

1. Sam and Cas friendship. After 9x11 I started to think about Sam and Cas a lot and I think Sam has always been more of a friend to Cas then Dean. He is always the one reaching out to Cas, showing kindness, even if it wasn't always returned. (This is not in any offense to Dean. I love him, but I feel like the show seems to want us to like Dean and Cas, but Sam is shown as the better friend. It is weird.) So, I would like any stories that really show Sam and Cas really bonding, or being close. I am not a huge fan of Sam/Cas slash, but if it is light with a jealous!Dean...or Sam/Cas/Dean...

2. Demon!Dean/Sam. This can be slash or gen. Timeframe doesn't matter. There has been a lot of "demon!Dean forcing Sam to be addicted to demon blood" out there now, and I guess that is fun, but I am really looking for something that focuses on how being a demon changes (or not) Dean and how Sam reacts to Dean as a demon.

3. Love post Hell!Sam stories. (I really think it was handled poorly on the show. They had a golden opportunity for a great storyline and didn't use it.) Again, timeframe doesn't matter. It can be hallucinating or PTSD or panic attacks or all of the above. I'd also be interested in any stories that have Sam still remembering Hell after Cas took the crazy. (That remained ambiguous in my opinion) Gen or Sam/Dean

Sorry for all the talk. Please, only completed stories. The longer, the better, but any length is fine. NO Dean/Cas. Self recs are fine.

Thank you in advance!!!!
I'm looking for two fics:

1) Sam gets captured by lucifer and tortured but castiel offers to switch places with sam (or tries to rescue him and gets caught himself while sam gets away) and gets tortured and probably also raped by lucifer. He's also fed demon blood by him until the boys rescue him

2) This is a domestic fic probably after season 8 with fallen!cas who has ptsd and panic attacks. There's a scene where he gets one in a shoe shop while shopping with dean and people are staring at him until dean gets there and calms him down + gets him out of there. There also a scene where dean is frustrated with cas' situation and punches a tree until his hand bleeds and sam tells him to get it together to help cas get better. It was a wip when i read it but it's probably finished now

Thanks in advance c;
EDITED based on the first comment below... I read this story and this one scene is stuck in my head and I want to reread it, but I can't figure out what it's from. DEAN is a mess with post-hell trauma and SAM is trying to take care of him. Something sets DEAN off and they end up in a bar fight (maybe?) and then when a police officer shows up SAM recognizes that the officer is acting like he was in the military, so SAM makes it sound like DEAN fought in Iraq (?) and the officer keeps the bystanders away and lets SAM take care of DEAN.

FOUND! See comments.
There is a member asking for stories where Sam is deaged into a teenager. I remember a series where after Sam gets out of the cage, he is deaged into an 18 year-old. Bobby finds him in a hospital and he has some psychological problems because of flashblacks from the cage. At first Dean thinks he is a shapeshifter but soon comes to realize it really is Sam.

In the series, Dean and Sam buy a house. They give a long list of requirements to the realator such as, the house has to be within a few hours drive from Bobby's, no churches or cemeteries within a certain distance and the house could not have a basement or attic. Sam and Dean find a house and when they move in, one neighbor couple come over to welcome them into the neighborhood. As Dean is talking to the couple, Sam has an episode where he gets really scared and has a meltdown in front of the couple.

Thank's in advance!!!! (FOUND!!!!!!)

ALSO, the realator part reminds me of another story where the boys (and I think John) are looking for a house to live in permanently because I think something happened to Sam. As they are looking at a house, Sam sits on a front porch swing. He becomes content and he is smiling. The others are waiting for him to get up but are shocked and happy that Sam had found something so simple as a porch swing to bring him comfort. John and Dean buy the house just so that Sam could have that swing and hopefully will bring healing to Sam.
12 August 2014 @ 12:34 pm
Hello everybody

I'm going to be doing a long train trip soon and wanted something to read.

Does anybody know any stories where Dean has had to leave Sam with someone or in a hospital/care home due to Sam having care issues or post Lucifer taking him over.

Specific story
I know it was a J2 story. All I can remember is Jared standing in the rain outside Jensen's nan's care home begging him to come back to him.

I know it's not a lot to go on but I have seen miracles on this page.

Thank you xxxx
05 July 2014 @ 02:42 pm
Hello all, I'm here looking for some stories with Sam abuses Dean:

1. They still live together, hunt together and Sam is not really evil, just always angry and abusive and can't control himself, it can be a storm of abuse or just some punch. Maybe it's because of the demon blood or Sam is jeolous or his head is too messed up that he believe Dean hates him or he blames Dean for something or simply just because he's angry, ect. I hope it's not only one time but repeatedly. Bonus point if at some point Sam feels guilty, bigger bonus for Dean's low self esteem, think he deserves it and doesn't blame Sam.

2. Pre-series mean Sam bullies Dean (with or without knowing).

3. Dean comes out and gets hurt because of a homophobia Sam

And again, bonus point for guilty!sam and Dean's low self essteem.

No possessed!sam and lucifer!sam, robo!sam is okay if Dean hasn't find out that yet. Wincest is good but bottom!dean only please. Lol this is funny since I really really don't hate Sam, just in the mood, Thank you x100000 :kiss kiss:
Here again from thewincestlibrary, any help in finding these requests would be great :)

1. Any wincest coffee shop aus?

2. Your favorite fics/one shots set before season 3? I.E. seasons 1 and 2, not preseries.

3. I have been looking for a certain fic for a long time and i just can't find it! I was wondering if you have any idea: Sam and Dean were driving around the country like normal, but they were running from the FBI, i think it was in season 2, It would go to the point of view of the FBI sometimes, Sam always wanted to kiss Dean in public and they were in a diner and Dean looked like a homophobe so Sam kissed him and they like made-out, impala sex... ringing any bells? it was bottom!sam! idk...

4. I was wondering if you could help me find a fic I have forgotten the name of? It involved Sam suffering from anxiety after hell (maybe after his wall broke, I forgot). Dean and Sam move in to a neighborhood and Sam gets a job as a mechanic. Dean always makes him sandwiches and drops them off for him. There is also a scene where they go to a Superbowl party and Sam has a panic attack that Dean helps him through. No worries if you can't find it. Thank you so much!

5. I was looking for a fic i read a while back. It was BDSM with dean as the dominant one. Dean can't really tie sammy down for safety reasons and possible monsters finding them so he uses stuff like a belt and lays if gently across sammy's arms and makes sam pretend. idk really. it was hot.

Thanks so much again!
28 June 2014 @ 10:15 pm

Wondering if anyone knows any fics where Jensen went missing (not necessarily kidnapped but open to any storylines!) for a few months/years and is found/comes back. Would love if Jared helps to get Jensen back to a regular life and help in any healing process. I was re-watching Arrow and now am in the mood for some missing!Jensen in a hurt/comfort fic where he is timid around people at first. Thanks!
Hi all,

I'm looking for two specific Brotherhood AU fics. One (I believe) was written by PL Wynter and the other was not.

1. In the first one, it's a young Dean and young Caleb story. They're at Pastor Jim's (I think) because John brought Sam and Dean there because Dean wasn't talking after Mary's death. Something happens - men attack, monsters attack, idk - and Caleb takes Dean and runs. When the Winchesters first arrive, Caleb is annoyed that Dean is there because he's a little kid but by the end of it, they managed to forge a really strong understanding of one another. Caleb tells Dean about how he thinks he's a monster and gives Dean the nickname Deuce and Dean in turn starts to call him Damien.

2. The second one is a de-aged Dean fic. I think there's two of them. At first, Caleb goes to visit Sam and tells him that his brother needs him now and that John's missing. Sam refuses to have any part in it until he finds out that Dean has been physically and mentally regressed to about 9 (?). He finds out that Dean ran away for a little bit after it first happened to look for Sam and they ran into each other outside of the library but Dean didn't say anything because he thought that Sam looked happy in his life with Jessica.

Any help finding these two fics would totally be appreciated. I think they were both located on ff.net but that site makes it SO hard to keep track of bookmarks/favorited stories.
I'm looking for both a specific fic and just a general request.

1. The specific fic is a fic set after Sam returns from Hell, I think, and for some reason Dean and Sam go to see Missouri. It's from her POV and Sam has really bad PTSD as a result of Hell and she's sad to see how much he's changed. Dean is looking after him. That's all I can really remember.

2. Any fics where Sam is messed up after he returns from hell or is mentally broken somehow. I seriously think I've read most but worth a try.

Thanks for your help guys!
18 May 2014 @ 02:54 am
I'm looking for a Wincest BDSM fic where Dean is the sub and has a flashback to Alistair or Hell without Sam noticing. Then when it's noticed, fluffiness and cuddles.
14 May 2014 @ 12:50 am
I'm looking for any fics based around the alley scene in 5x18 Point of No Return that DON'T romanticise/sexualise it and deal with the actual trauma Dean has to deal with after having his best friend beat him up for what essentially boils down to suicide.

It's such a fascinating scene in their relationship but I can't read any of the ones which turn that scene into sex or romance because the abuse overtones really squick me out. So yeah, fics dealing with that!

In general though, I'd also like any sort of fics dealing with Dean's trauma caused by other characters from specific in-show events (eg the vampire thing with soulless!Sam or the scene in Goodbye Stranger where Cas beats Dean up, or even way back in season 1 with Asylum - obviously you can tell from this that the other character doesn't have to be in their right mind, but Dean still gets hurt so I still want fics dealing with that). Thank you!

(I'll read any ships - slight preference for gen and against wincest, although if it's a great fic I will read it, provided you let me know when you rec!)